Thursday, January 22, 2009

Demons and the Forces of Darkness

Welcome to the Frankenstein Talk Show! Today, we're going to discuss a very controversial topic: Demons and the Forces of Darkness!

Firstly, as all good talk shows do, we must define our terms, correct? Luckily for us, this isn't a topic in which we will spend all our time playing around with meanings and the meanings behind the meanings!

Force of Darkness: Anything that serves the 3V1L ones.

Demon: Anything that isn't a force of darkness but serves the 3V1L ones.

So, armed with our definitions, let's march onwards to victory, crushing, burning, pillaging and letting loose Chery-...Mike Jacks-...forces of darkness on the world.

So, let's discuss. What makes the 3V1L ones evil? This is actually quite an interesting question. Some might remember a post long ago about the nature of evil in this day and age, and I have to say that I must once again state that Evil is no longer about controlling, destroying, and blasting the world to bits. After all, just reading/watching this talk show already spews about a billion tonnes of CO2 into the air.

But don't worry, as a geography student, I can tell you we won't die yet. Not for another ten years, at least!

Anyway, continuing our line of thought, Evil is no longer about world domination, but has thrown all its skill points into Manipulation, Persuasion, Illusion and Cripple. Yup, we are all being subjugated by these dastardly skills, and as everyone knows, ORB EFFECTS STACK. Not only that, but you can't dispel orb effects either. That's terrible.

Anyway, something else that makes Evil...well, Evil, is the fact that they cast these spells on their own units as well! That's why there are a multitude of media out there promoting the image of the good Demon, or the helpful, miserable, lonely force of darkness.

And unlike the normal media that Hollywood churns out (incidentally, Hollywood is a nest of 3V1L. Some suspect that Hollywood is a double agent, or even a triple agent. But we can't be certain), good Demons and Forces of Darkness do exist. Of course, this also means that they look like one hell of a ************.

Good demons are probably more common than you think. In fact, demons probably suffer from the same problems that humans do, ie. Exams, Romance, Meaning in Life (there's gotta be something more than scary the pants off that old lady down the street). It's even worse when a demon falls in love with a human, because that often results in sappy romance novels about love that is never meant to be (these are oft mistaken for forces of darkness, but I assure that is a misconception).

Forces of Darkness are a different matter though. These servants are generally mindless beings who have been bent to the wiles of their masters. This bending of will is generally due to the fact that the guy has a weak mind and falls prey to insults, jokes and various other insinuations, causing them to go insane and start doing things that forces of darkness usually do. Like arcade machines.

In the end, Forces of Darkness really can't be blamed for anything. They are like tools that do their master's bidding and...and...

Oh screw this, I don't know what I'm talking about. Never mind.

Getting back to the subject at hand, perhaps it is time to start rethinking our view of demons and other servants of the 3V1L ones. After all, we have to remember that demons are in fact very gentle creatures despite their appearance. You have to get to know them, and then learn about them before judging them. The "do unto others what you wish them to do unto you" works for demons as well, kaes?

As a parting shot to one of the longest and unintelligible talk shows in a long time, let me just say that Demons and Forces of Darkness appear differently to different people. The spell of Delusion and Illusion does that to you. You gotta be careful these days.

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