Frankenstein Has Returned

Writing a Story

2011-12-12T10:31:00.002+08:00

So, it is almost a year to the day when the last post of this blog was uploaded. Funny how that always works, isn't it? Whatever, I'm in no position to comment on the strange fates that entwine this world.

All right, so for some reason, contrary to the history of this particular blog, this post isn't going to be about a story, but about the act of writing it. It is an opinion-based piece on what I think are important facets in storytelling, and what makes stories fun to read and "awesome" in general. What I find funny is that no one is ever going to read this blog, so an opinion-based piece on this site will never actually change or impart my oh-so-important point of view to anyone. But it is a fun little exercise and it'll probably help when I'm coming up with a story on my own.

Before we begin, there are several important aspects that, when assembled together, create a story. Note that a story does not have to comprise of all the following, but it is essential that the author focus on one or more of the following aspects so as to create a good read/watch.

PLOT

CHARACTERS

SETTING

DIALOGUE

STYLE

Okay, so it looks like I just listed a bunch of literary devices. Well, doesn't matter, but these are the few devices that I think are incredibly important when it comes to composing a piece of fiction. I shall now examine what makes a story good when it comes to some of them (I'm not going to go in order).

CHARACTERS/CHARACTERISATION
When creating a story, perhaps the most important thing that a writer must pay attention to are his characters. A story without characters is a dead story - this, I believe is the greatest truth regarding creating a work of fiction. A story can do without plot (K-ON/Working), without dialogue (certain parts of Nichijou), a well-established setting (Tsukihime), or distinctive styles, but it absolutely 100% cannot do without characters. Even stories/anime that seemingly deal without characters such as She and Her Cat, are intrinsically working with their creations (in the example provided, the Cat itself) to bring across a message.

Why are characters so important? When writing a story, there are two things that must happen: 1) The reader must side with someone and 2) The reader must be rooting against someone. The answers to points 1 and 2 does not necessarily have to be the Protagonist and the Antagonist respectively. Fate/Zero has readers/watchers actively rooting against the Protagonist (Emiya Kiritsugu) depending on your point of view, whereas many consider Matou Kariya to be the character they would like to see win the Grail War. There is also a certain amount of contention about point 2: a story does not necessarily have to be clear in who you are rooting against - indeed, it could be said that when rooting for character A, you are by implication rooting against character B. Good examples of this are The Black Company and The Malazan Book of the Fallen, especially the latter, where you pretty much only want to read about the Bridgeburners and no one else.

So what does all this rooting for and rooting against have to do with anything? The key to all this wanting someone to "win" or be successful has to do with the creation of emotion within the reader. Emotion is what drives a reader to read your books and watch your shows. Why does someone want to return to a book after he reads it? He wants to find out what happens next because a) he is excited about the PLOT. Or perhaps he likes or enjoys reading about a certain character. Making sure that a reader is emotionally invested in your stories is an essential part of creating a successful work of fiction.

Now I have to do errands. Guess I'll write more later.

The Academy Part 1

2010-12-10T09:06:00.002+08:00

"So," said Dr. Forstein as he adjusted his horn-rimmed glasses, the light flickering off them like some cheap B-grade animation. "You dare challenge the Physics Department to a duel?"

I placed my head in my hands and rubbed my temples. It was an action that I had gotten used to since coming here two months ago. My scar on my right eye was getting itchy again, telling me that trouble was brewing. Except that this time, it was plainly obvious that we were in some deep shit.

Our usual ragtag gang had somehow managed to meet the reigning ESPer team from the Physics Department. Sheffield, being his normal self and wanting to show off Magari's newfound powers, immediately challenged them, much to my exasperation.

Needless to say, the physicists were more than a little annoyed.

"That is exactly the case," said my overly-optimistic colleague, Mr. Sheffield. The diminutive Professor in Neurology had taken off his lab-coat, a sure sign that he getting serious, and he was grinning from ear to ear. "With Mr. Heidfeld and Ms. Magari here, the Biology Department will finally take its rightful place as the Overlords of the Science Faculty!"

With that, he let out a distinctly evil laugh. It was an obvious taunt - after all, everyone knew that all mad scientists were physicists.

I sighed deeply. I had come to this place looking for some peace and quiet. But this place was just another battlefront, with battles between the teachers erupting at seemingly random intervals disguised as 'inter-departmental competitiveness'. I took a step back and said to Magari, "How did he drag you into this?"

The quiet, shy little girl looked at me with eyes that were about to burst into tears and whispered into my ear, "He offered me a new centrifuge. And a carrier gene."

Ah, Magari. The Professor of Genetic Engineering was so easy to manipulate.

"Tch...getting a little over our heads, aren't we?" said Mrs. Khrushchev, licking her signature blood red lipstick. Her eyes - tinted red by her contact lenses - were staring sharply at Sheffield, who flinched. The Professor of Optics had always cut a very intimidating appearance. "Do you really think that you can challenge us, the same team that demolished the Chemistry Department's A-Team?"

"Ha," said Sheffield, drawing himself up and puffing his chest out. "We aren't as weak as those fogies who do nothing but sit in their labs mixing rainbow coloured substances like they're playing an online game."

Sheffield was interrupted by a cry of dissent from somewhere down the corridor, but the perpetrator was quickly silenced and dragged back into his office, lest he get caught in this extra-curricular battle.

"So what do you propose," asked Mr. Anastasios, the most amiable of the lot. The Greek Professor of Kinetics was dressed in his usual vest and jeans, and his hair today was waxed back into some outrageous style that was reminiscent of a recently discovered ancient Japanese literature. "Would you like to engage us in an informal battle, right here, right now?"

"A three on three, to be exact," replied Sheffield, smiling like a kid about get candy. "It'll be me, Heidfeld and Magari versus you, Forstein and Khrushchev. Heh, consider yourselves lucky that I didn't bring the rest of the Biology Department down on you. Filthy cowards!"

More like they've washed their hands of us and can't be bothered to put up with your antics anymore.

"Hmph." Forstein snorted. "What impudence. To think that you, members of the Biology Department, would dare to challenge us? Prepare to receive a lesson in pain!"

"I'm looking forward to it!" Sheffield turned to me and said, "Okay, Heidfeld. Time for you to go get him!"

"Me? Since when was I participating in this battle?!"

"What? You mean you're not?"

"Of course not. Unlike you, I treasure my lifespan, thank you very much."

"Aww, come on, it's just a little..."

Forstein interrupted our little conversation. "This is a waste of my time. I'll end this quickly." And with that, he began to charge five million volts worth of electricity in his arms. A split second later, he discharged it in an arc that was aimed directly at Sheffield.

"Get out of the way, you idiot!" I kicked him to the side, and not a second too late - the lightning bolt crashed down on the floor where Sheffield had been standing, leaving a charred burn mark where he had been standing a moment ago. I groaned inwardly. More things for me to clean.

Forstein looked surprised. "Quick reflexes indeed. But as fast as they are, it's nowhere close to 148,800 km/s, is it?" And with that, Forstein transformed into pure lightning, essentially teleporting behind Sheffield. The only reason why Sheffield was left standing was because Forstein missed the follow-through, the resulting bolt of lightning coursing through the air and landing next to Magari. The young girl screamed and cowered next to the wall, and despite everything that Sheffield tried, wouldn't budge.

"Change of plans!" yelled Sheffield, who whipped around just in time to dodge yet another electrical missile. "We'll whack Khrushchev instead! Knock that bloody witch out of the sky! Charge!"

And with that, Sheffield ran headlong into a wall, completely knocking himself out.

"Well, that was easy," remarked Khrushchev, who was surprised that her attack worked so well.

"Optical manipulation...he should have known that from the beginning," I muttered under my breath. I could expect no less from the Red Lady, who was busy polishing her nails (also blood red).

"Indeed," replied Khrushchev. "I'll leave my Nuclear physicist of a sister to handle the big guns. I like my victories a little more subtle."

Forstein was irate. "You fools called us out here for a duel, and this is all you have to offer? What a disgrace. I knew the Biology Department was pitiful, I didn't know that the truth was this shocking."

I had to agree with him. Our spokesman was already down, and Magari was still huddled up in a corner. It was essentially a three versus one, and although I had already analysed the extent of Forstein and Khrushchev's powers, Anastasios remained a mystery to me.

I sighed deeply. And I had just had a bath, too!

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to beat the lot of them without breaking a sweat.

My Results

2010-01-10T08:45:00.002+08:00

So. I have finally come to terms with my results after nearly four days. Or a little more/less than that.

I got the answer to life the universe and everything minus the number of horns on a unicorn.

A disappointing result, to be sure.

But infinitely better than the number of legs on a sphinx multiplied tenfold.

2010-01-06T20:20:00.001+08:00

ITS OK JONNY WE STILL LOVE YOU WORX

Countdown: 3

2010-01-04T09:26:00.008+08:00

Okay, so it seems that results are going to come out in three days.

Hang on, let's think about that statement again.

Results. Are. Going. To. Come. Out. In. Three. Days.

Wait...WHAT?!? Holy crap! NO GODDAMNED WAY! What's happening here? How is this possible? *cue random screaming and crazy antics like head-banging against the floor just before grandma comes in and then quickly pretending you're doing push-ups*

No, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE. THAT STATEMENT IS FALSE.

Okay, okay. So it is false. Here's the true statement.

Results are going to come out in less than three days.

Goddamnit. *#&^$*(%!@^$(*&^$(*&^*&(*&@!#**^!*!%!*!@&4512435

~*~

All right. So I am going to ignore the fact that I haven't been posting on this blog since the dinosaurs went extinct. I'm going to ignore the fact that half the people in the world have been rejected by Oxford. I'm going to ignore the fact that results are going to come out in three days - or less than that, if you're really looking forward to it.

AND I AM INSTEAD GOING TO FOCUS ON SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. BECAUSE IGNORANCE IS BLISS YEAH.

Actually, I'm going to focus on quite a number of different things. Because being ignorant is extremely difficult, I was forced to employ several different techniques in order to make sure that I had no time to think about the results. And when I say no time, I mean NO TIME WHATSOEVER. And considering that I have a lot of time, it has proved to be very difficult.

Okay, so one of the most time wasting, most engrossing things on the planet would probably be the Final Fantasy series. Yep, complete time waster. According to the final timer at the end of the game, I have wasted a total of 62 hours on the game. Excellent for my purposes, and it usually has a good story, too.

Unfortunately, Final Fantasy 3 is one of those FFs with no story. And I mean, NO STORY WHATSOEVER. Gosh, even I could write a better story than that. Although I must give them credit - it was made during the time when RPGs were only just getting popular. As far as I know, Final Fantasy 4 was the one which actually featured an engaging storyline.

Oh well, it was still quite fun lah. I mean, it was better than SOME games I've tried. And the final boss is very fun. And by very fun, I mean "WHAT THE FREAK WHY IS THIS BOSS SO BLOODY IMBA GOOD GOD WTF THIS ISN"T POSSIBLE HOLY SHIT ARGHARGHARGH".

Like, seriously. Picture this. I beat the pre-Final Boss in two turns. Mostly because my characters are seriously imbalanced and do about 33000 damage per turn, with the pre-Final Boss having about 35000HP. Hip-hip-hooray-God-damn-it-why-is-he-worth-so-few-EXP. And then the FINAL BOSS SHOWS UP.

Okay, so now I do zero damage per turn. Uh. Okay. WAIT WHAT. YOU'RE KIDDING ME RIGHT?! HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BEAT THE BOSS IF I DO ZERO DAMAGE PER

TURN!? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

Okay, calm down. Maybe this is like...I don't know, some defense phase or something. Yeah, like for Poseidon in Golden Sun 2. You had to use the Trident to destroy Poseidon's watery shield, or else you'd do single digit damage to the guy. Yeah, maybe that's what's happening here. Maybe I have to use the four fangs in succession to blow this guy to pieces. Mmhmm, yeah, that sounds about right. Uh-huh. Okay, so next turn, I will have to...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~

SO NOW HE DOES 9999 DAMAGE TO ME?! ISN'T THIS A BIT IMBALANCED CONSIDERING THE MAXIMUM HEALTH AVAILABLE IS 9999?! IS THERE SOMETHING I HAVEN'T DONE LIKE KILL THE FIVE WYRMS OR DEFEAT THE FOUR TIKI STATUES OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT!? WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN -

Okay...okay. Calm down. So where was the last save point again? *Finds out it was at least 10 levels ago.* Ragequit.

So I didn't actually finish playing Final Fantasy 3. You can't really blame me. I mean, wouldn't you have done the same thing? Seriously, just seeing something like that makes my blood boil. IT MAKES MY SKIN SUBLIMATE OH GOD. Okay, maybe not. Oh well, on to Final Fantasy 4. I'm kind of looking forward to Final Fantasy 4, especially because I read the comments section on the online forum, and the first three posts were essentially the same thing.

"I don't remember dying this much."

Oh yeah. Fun.

~*~

Yet another thing that I have used to take up my free time: Umineko no Naku Koro ni. Or, literal English translation, "When the Seacats Cry". Doesn't that sound like the most awesome story you've ever read? Booyah!

Okay, so maybe not. The actual English translation is "When the Seagulls Cry". And holy shit it is some epic thriller, fantasy, mystery, troll (is this even a genre? I think it should be), anti-fantasy and anti-mystery all rolled up into one. You won't understand the last two genres until you actually read the novel, because it's just too difficult for me to do it justice.

Recently (and by that I mean 2 weeks ago), I finally read the 5th installment of the Umineko series. And by the gods, was it awesome. I mean, Demel kept spoiling me as to what the story was about (ERIKA IS A GODDAMNED STALKER) and all that jazz, but it was still a great (if short) read!

It comes with whole new troll characters and shit, with terrible drawings and the most screwed up facial expressions I've ever seen. Dlanor A. Knox is one crazy crazy crazy demon. Or angel, depending on how you look at it. I shall take the time to quote her in this small space.

CheckFINISHED checkFINISHED checkFINISHED
checkcheckcheck FINISHEDFINISHEDFINISHED

checkcheckcheckcheckcheckcheckcheckcheck

FINISHEDFINISHEDFINISHEDFINISHED

Die the Death!
Sentence to Death!

Great Equaliser is the Death!

Hooyah! That is some epic shit if I ever saw it. I mean, I don't even what that means! That's how epic it is!

The Courtroom scene was one of the most epic battles I've ever seen, the only problem being that it is the place where you learn that ERIKA IS A GODDAMNED STALKER. Battler jumping out the third storey window was also awesome, as was the swordfight at the end of the whole thing. And of course, the newest addition to the list of truths can you throw around.

The only problem that I can find with this particular addition to the Umineko series is...the LACK OF RONOVE AND GAAP AND THE STAKES OF PURGATORY. Seriously, they're the most awesome characters, even if they are made in the USA. T_T

~*~

Well...I think that's it for today. I will have to do another post tomorrow so that I can take my mind of my stupid incoming results. For now though, it's back to listening to trollmusic and Final Fantasy 4.

Cheers.

Back to Reality!

2009-11-20T10:58:00.005+08:00

So exams have finally ended! Hooray~

I swear, that was one heck of a roller-coaster ride - pretty fun, yet pretty vomit inducing as well. I mean seriously, there were some golden moments which were laugh out loud hilarious, and some holy-freaking-shit moments - it was pretty hair-raising at some points. One thing I can say for sure, though - it was not good for my heart. At all. Jeez.

Still, there were a couple of moments that I clearly remember, such as:

1. 3-5 DNPH and Specific Heat Capacity being J per kg per mol.

2. Praying during the Math exam, especially during the graph question.

3. Panicking on the day before Math Paper 2, when I was making mistakes like 4 + 2 + 1 = 9

4. Losing my head over English Paper 1.

5. Drooling over my English Paper 1.

6. Losing my head over Geography

7. Accurately predicting every single question except for the topic that I was best at for Geography. (I swear it's a miracle)

8. Freaking out because I misread and careless'd my way to a near 6 for Physics

9. Doing Math Paper 3 without thinking

Well, all in all, this is kind of a meh post, just getting all the obligatory "this is how I felt about the exams and shit, you know, because you all actually care" - soon, I SHALL BE BACK WITH MORE INTERESTING STUFF.

Like Starcraft! Hell yeah, shit is finally starting to happen! StarCraft2.com got updated, and my gosh, the new Battlecruiser artwork is UNBELIEVABLE. As per Cherilyn, it looks like a freaking Star Destroyer now! Can you tell how much I'm drooling over this? Can you? Can you?

Anyway, I think this particular baby is the Hyperion, Jim Raynor's flagship, equipped with Plasma Torpedoes, the Yamato Cannon and the on-board Defensive Matrix, not to mention that upgrade which grants it rapid fire AtG lasers. Still think it'd be vulnerable to Vikings, Void Rays and all that jazz though. Oh well, it looks bloody cool still, and I think everyone else would just die by looking at it. Yep, that's right!

On a related and yet not-so-related note, the MSL and the OSL groups have been finalized, with really interesting matches coming up. The MSL looks by far the more interesting competition, although the OSL has more tradition behind it - can't really think of a proper sports analogy, but it'll come to me eventually. But hell yeah, both groups look to have some epic games coming up! Stork vs. Flash, Bisu vs. Savior - AND HOLY SHIT, THIS WEEK'S PROLEAGUE EVEN HAS BOXER VS. YELLOW! I SENSE A SET-UP!

Well, enough of that incomprehensible stuff. I think I shall probably go to sleep now or something - tomorrow is going to be a really busy day, especially with all the cleaning up to do. Gawd, why do I have to do so much cleaning up~~ It be a plague, a plague I say! Upon the innocent, unspoilt mind of a creative child~ Oh, the humanity!

Ah well...not like that beautiful mind is being used on any useful endeavors. Not yet, anyway.

Emo.

2009-10-12T18:10:00.002+08:00

5 for Language Arts results in emo.

What else can you expect?

At least I got 7 for Geog.

Dreaming

2009-10-02T17:34:00.002+08:00

The Space Race was between the two greatest superpowers of their time - the ever-present USA and the now-defunct USSR. The race between them catalyzed some of the greatest endeavors in the history of mankind, and within the short period of 1957 - 1975 made great leaps of into the realm of space exploration. It really is quite remarkable - the achievements accomplished by these two superpowers is laudable. Indeed, look at the short time in which the human race managed to accomplish the seemingly impossible.

Oct 4, 1957 - First satellite (Sputnik 1) into space

Nov 3, 1957 - First animal into space (the dog Laika)

Dec 18, 1958 - First communications satellite

Jan 2, 1959 - First rocket to achieve escape velocity + detection of the solar winds

Aug 7, 1959 - First photograph of Earth from orbit

Sep 13, 1959 - First impact on another celestial body (Luna 2 on the Moon)

Oct 4, 1959 - First pictures from the far side of the Moon

Aug 16, 1960 - First plants/animals to return alive from space (Sputnik 5)

Within the span of three short years, scientists from both countries had, together, had managed to progress from spaceflight into the ability to sustain life in orbit - note that this period is shorter than our Secondary School life. It is the advancements in the next decade or so, however, that truly amazes me.

Apr 21, 1961 - First man into space (Yuri Gagarin)

Dec 14, 1962 - Interplanetary flight (Mariner 2 flyby of Venus)

Jun 16, 1963 - First woman into space

Aug 19, 1964 - First geostationary satellite

Mar 18, 1965 - First extra-vehicular activity

Jul 14, 1965 - First flyby of Mars by Mariner 4

Within the next 5 years, we somehow managed to achieve interplanetary flight - that's shorter than my entire life in a particular institution known as ACS. Our ability to traverse space, of course, did not stop there - 1969 saw the famous lunar landing, while the USSR still kept sending probes such as the Venera and Vega missions to Venus as well as improving space station technology. The USA, on the other hand, concentrated on designing re-usable launch vehicles and manned flights.

-----------------------------------------------------------

So what does this have to do with anything? Well, just take a look at the 2000 - 2009 period. Virtually nothing has gone into space since the start of the new millenia. NASA has only been in the news for things such as the 2004 disaster and whenever they get budget cuts to fund the Afghan Wars.

Okay, so what am I trying to say? Perhaps I am just a little bitter about having my dreams of space travel and space flight fade into nothingness before my very eyes. What happened to our desire to cross the stars? What happened to our drive to explore new worlds, to break through the final frontier? Alas, the people around me do not share these desires. They are more interested in the latest winner of American Idol and books such as Twilight, or about studying for their IB Exams. Indeed, the people I feel sorry for the most are those who study to answer questions - those who refuse to move beyond the syllabus. Where is their desire for knowledge? Though I try, I cannot answer that question.

"Some look at the things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?" - George Bernard Shaw

Clearly, priorities need to be set out clearly here. Note that I am not condemning activities other than space travel - indeed, I have great respect for some of the professions that my friends are aspiring to - Psychology, Particle Physics, Doctors - all are noble professions - perhaps even more so than my own. Indeed, I have great respect for doctors and those who help the poor and needy - human geography has taught me that much. Of biologists and researchers in the laboratory I am a little more cautious - but I still respect them for what they do. Even students of literature, which I find a most detestable subject...I like to think that I feel something for them as well.

"I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he is not fit to live" - Martin Luther King Jr.

Unfortunately, there are quite a number who do not share the same ideals. Indeed, I find that people have a chronic lack of knowledge - almost a crime in this world were knowledge is so easily accessible. It leaves me greatly disheartened, and perhaps slightly worried about the state of the world in the generations to come. Some people have never heard of Arthur C. Clarke, Isaac Asimov or Greg Bear (although this I can understand...to a certain extent). Some people don't know where Cairo is. Some people question why we should go to other planets in the first place...and perhaps what worries me the most is that people ask me why I read stories - after all, they aren't true.

"Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air: they are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." - Henry David Thoreau

Admittedly, I am being biased. Perhaps I am forcing my own principles upon others. After all, I am not well-versed in pop culture today - if someone were to ask me, I wouldn't be able to tell you who Ellen Degeneres is, who last won American Idol, or what the latest trend in fashion is. Indeed, I have often been mocked for my taste in music, which can only be described as "My Dad's Generation". I confess that much of the supposedly "good music" holds no attraction for me. I admit that I do not see why anyone would want to know whether Adam Lambert is gay, or about Ris Low and status of her beauty pageant. The thought, in fact, disgusts me.

"Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real." - Tupac Shakur

But truly...I feel that our world has forgotten how to dream. People do not see the need to explore, do not find satisfaction in doing more than they ought to. Perhaps it is just this small little city, on this small little island. Perhaps the strains of a capitalist lifestyle has crushed our dreams underfoot - smothered them in a world were results, power and money trump all. Indeed, how many people dreamed of becoming astronauts? How many people have dreamed of being writers, marine biologists or other bombastic professions that one must have harbored in their youth? How many people have dreamed of walking on the moon, of climbing the greatest heights, or exploring the deepest depths? How many still do that today?

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage the pursue them" - Walt Disney

I am truly thankful of the opportunities given to me. Though there is still much that I want, all my needs have been provided for - a good education, a world where information is easily accessible, and great friends who will forever encourage me in their own special ways. After all - great dreams mean nothing if there is no one to share them with. Let me end this with a quote from the author of one of my favorite books - a little gem called "The Little Prince". It is almost a children's story, and though you might have excuses about not having enough time to read Asimov, at least read this short story by Antoine de Saint Exupery.

"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral." - Antoine de Saint Exupery

Exams are over. Time to start studying.

2009-09-29T20:41:00.002+08:00

Phew! Exams are over, people! Technically they were over nearly 48 hours ago, but hey, who cares man. Certainly not I - mostly because the exams didn't really feel like exams in the first place, plus I didn't actually study for these so...whatever, I'm just happy that exams are over, because that's how I'm supposed to feel when exams are over.

----

That said, there are quite a few customary things that must be done after exams end. Unfortunately, the titular exams being the Prelims restrict the possible options. After all, despite the fact that most of us (save for the unlucky ones) are 18, boozing, partying and all other synonymous activities are not really an option because of the fact that we only really have one month left before our real exams.

Putting things into perspective, we have approximately 40 days left, and considering we sleep about 5 hours a day (worse for me because my body functions at a minimum of 7 hours of sleep), we have...let's see...570 hours left. Also considering about an hour for meals (which is really an underestimation) and we have 540 hours. Also considering that we spent about 5-6 hours in school, of which perhaps 4 are actually productive, we waste another 1 hour until the 15th of October, which is lets see...oh forget it, about 2 weeks away. Now, we have about 700 hours left, rounding to the nearest hundred. Since we all have 5 subjects (except for you poor souls who have a 3rd language), that limits us to 140 hours per subject. Which is effectively 5 days per subject. And note that this doesn't even include screwing around, trips to the arcade. OH JOY.

So. Screwed.

----

Okay, now that we've killed our egos a la Siddhartha via the limited hours of studying we have left, let's move on to something more...exciting? No, that's not the word umm...oh forget it, I can't think of anything to describe it.

In other news, I now have a copy of The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke. STRIKEEEEEEEEEEEE! And goddamn, this is mouth-watering stuff here. There are so many stories that I remember, so many stories where the twist (and I love ACC's twists) are on the tip of my consciousness and can barely remember it, and wow, all the White Hart stories are immensely entertaining. I'll probably write about this stuff in a new blog post, because it's just so awesome to put into one post.

----

In further news, Starcraft has gotten a lot more entertaining for me, not because I'm getting better at it (okay, so its true that I've doubled apm (actions per minute), which wasn't very spectacular because my initial apm was like...10? I dunno.), but because I've gotten into the culture of the sport. I know the Federers, the Nadals, the Agassis, the Jokeovics. I know all the stories, memes, and insider jokes.

And wow, I have to say that Starcraft is goddamn awesome! It has everything - controversies, dedicated sites (teamliquid.net), famous personages, old timers, playing-for-fun games, hilarious personalities - the list goes on and on! Oh, I know of thousands of people that'd laugh at the very idea of Starcraft as a sport - not a game, but a sport - and hundreds more who just don't really care even if it was. But I tell you solemnly - you've really got to let go your prejudices and let yourself get into the groove! The world of Starcraft e-sports is pretty epic, with all sorts of notorious plays (Boxer triple bunker rush against Yellow), comedic moments (Stork's One Piece and WoW jokes), and Epic Titles (The Six Dragons, the Tyrant Killer, the Emperor) - it's a really amazing world out there. Maybe one day I'll write an entire blogpost about it.

Alternatively, you can read Slayers_Boxer's biography (yes, I know, the very idea of a progamer writing a biography must be galling. I know it was to Jarrel, and Jarrel is one of the most unflappable people I know) at boxerbiography.blogspot.com. It's kind of touching really (yet another remark that will garner hate), because if you think about it, pro-gaming really is one of the most misunderstood and stereotyped things in the world (gaming addictions and added violence, anyone?). To be honest, I think I've grown a lot more accepting of the world at large because of it - I mean, if I want people to understand Starcraft, I've got to try and understand the rest of the world as well, right? Read: Ellen Degeneres and all sorts of other weird people I should know but don't.

----

Hmm...I think that's it for tonight. Tired and have to prepare for OSL PRELIMINARIES TOMORROW! MST today was quite bad, because none of the old-timers made it out of their groups with the exception of JulyZerg and Daezang. But heck, it's all made up by the fact that HYUK ALSO QUALIFIED! GO HYUK!

Oh yeah, before I sign off, does anyone know what's the difference between shutting down and hibernating? They seem the same to me, the with the exception that hibernating it actually still keeps browser windows open and stuff. I dunno, maybe I missed something or other.

Fire and Ice

2009-09-09T10:28:00.002+08:00

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know of enough hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think that this is a bloody awesome poem. It's pretty short, kind of like Route 62, but you know - I find that short poems generally have the most meaning in them. Plus, the subject matter of this poem is pretty interesting, and is pretty damn abstract as well. But heck, that's cool.

Also, for some reason, this poem gets me fired up somehow. Makes me want to write a commentary on it! O_O

Maybe later...for now though, I wonder what you guys think of it. It should be pretty interesting to see what kind of ideas you guys can come up with. Unless, of course, you see the same things as I do. Even then, the poem itself is cool. I like.

Oh yeah, and it's by our favourite poet - Robert Frost

Formal Education

2009-08-26T22:02:00.003+08:00

I like studying. I love learning. I hate education. Contradictory? Possibly not.

I hate examinations, but for a completely different reason as compared to everyone else.

Everyone hates exams because of the studying that you have to do. I, for one, like studying - it lets me remember all the things that I've forgotten, or all the things that I missed when I fell asleep in class. And anyway, after studying, you realise that there are things that you're really interested in, even though you hated them when you first started out. Wood Pile, anybody? Heck, I'm starting to like weathering even as I type.

Everyone hates exams because it takes up hours of your time. Like, hours and hours and hours of it. And because time seems to pass so slowly when you're studying. Which, people tell me, based on the Theory of Relativity, is true. Fortunately, that isn't a problem for me, because I have 28 - 48 hours in a day (the number varies from person to person, I think), and so I've got time to waste. In fact, the problem is that I feel that I should be studying when I've already been studying my arse off.

Everyone also hates exams because of how you have to mug. Ah har! For once, something that I actually agree with. Who the freak mugs for exams? Seriously, exams are supposed to test your ability to cope and deal with the subject, not your memory work. If you wanted to test your memory, then go memorise the names of all 493 Pokemon. In Order. Hey, if Dwee can do it, so can you. And heck, if you can memorise 3 x 18 freaking pages worth of IOC essay, then you can bloody well quit life. Seriously, I have no respect for people who memorise blindly.

Which leads me to the reason why I hate exams: It stifles my creativity. Exam techniques? Definitions? All of these kind of questions encourage memorising and intensive mugging, which I believe is completely detrimental to your mind in general. Even wonder why Singaporeans never hit it big on the scientific scene? Ever wonder only the Japanese seem to be making leaps and bounds in research?

It's because Singaporeans can't stand to see anything new. Heck, I could open this to pretty much any Asian country. Note that I'm not criticising Asians in any - I greatly respect the Asian penchant for hard work - heck, I subscribe to that philosophy as well. But you know, there is a pretty big difference between hard work and mugging. Mugging doesn't use any brain power - hard work, on the other hand, does.

Why do we laugh at those Japanese inventions? All that crap we see over there? It's because it isn't in the books. It's because we've ever heard of them before. It's because we don't have the imagination to come up with something new. The only new thing we can come up with is which shopping mall to buy our clothes from. And that's what really irks me: Singapore, and Asian countries in general, just aren't open minded. We have no imagination, no innovation, and we don't think. All that Innovation Projects we had in Primary School? Bullshit, they don't teach you how to innovate, because you can't bloody teach innovation.

The only way to cultivate innovation is to make new things acceptable. Make them accessible, allow them to prove their worth. This invention doesn't work, not practical, too exclusive or inefficient? All right, no matter, try the next one. And the next. And the next. Don't put people down just because it's something you think is dumb. Suction Cups on Hats so that you don't fall onto other people when you're on a train? HAHAHAHAHAH WTF WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT. Typical social response.

Creativity is being crushed by the social world. No one dares to do crazy, weird things because of the social backlash, because of the fear of being laughed at by other people. Everything that is considered "strange" by the community is laughed off, telling the inventors that it would never work, that pursuing such interests is stupid and a misuse of resources. We should, in fact, be putting more money into designing clothes. Indeed, yes, that will totally improve the quality of our lives.

So, where did this social attitude come from? Perhaps it didn't come from anywhere. Perhaps it was there from the dawn of time. Or perhaps it was because we all got a formal education, and forgot how to think for ourselves.

Starcraft Fanboyism

2009-08-19T20:09:00.002+08:00

So.

It seems like I begin every blogpost I make with the word "So." I think this is a fault rather than a virtue, but what the heck, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. In any case, it doesn't have any bearing on what I'm going to be talking about.

But yes. Starcraft. One of the best games ever created, and the best RTS in existence, in my honest opinion. It says a lot that Starcraft is considered South Korea's national sport, and there are at least 5 different major competitions being held in South Korea even as I speak. Write. Whatever.

For the uninitiated, let me talk about Starcraft in general. Starcraft is a Real-Time Strategy Game, also known as RTS genre. It comes from the same category of games as Company of Heroes, Dawn of War and the Red Alert series. The only difference between them? Starcraft is about a decade older.

Part of the reason why Starcraft has lasted so long is due to the seeming lack of imbalance. Even in the most recent RTSs, you can always hear screams of "That's Imba! F***ing Kangaroo!", the infamous Armoured Car rushes, and the complete and utter impossibility of balancing 10 different races a la Dawn of War: Soulstorm. The supposed scissors-paper-stone arrangement between Terran < Zerg < Protoss < Terran can't be seen at all at the pro-level, and it says a lot that the top three players in the world are Jaedong (Zerg), Bisu (Protoss) and Flash (Terran).

Yet another reason why Starcraft is such a draw is because of the amazing atmosphere that you can get playing the games, as well as the completely different feeling that the three races give off.

The Terrans, the human race in the game, are exactly what you'd expect from a bunch of humans trying to scrape out a living in the backwater regions of the world. The Terrans have by far the best defenses in the game, but this can easily turn into an attacking option (contains, anyone?) and are the only race capable of surviving the entire game on nothing but two bases. Their strength, like all humans, lies in their adaptability, and with the flick of a button (literally), the Terran can easily switch tactics to respond to an opponent's attacking style. Unless, of course, you're iloveoov, in which case you just spam him to death.

The Zerg are perfect as the disgusting, all-consuming, biological alien plague. Unashamedly taking ideas from the Tyranids in Warhammer 40k, the term Zerg Rush is still used to describe a powerful, merciless, all-in move from one player to another. The Zerg will often outnumber you, and their flank attacks can be especially devastating due to the advent of Lurkers. The Zerg play exactly how their lore works - expand everywhere on the map, so that you're rolling in the cash and can outproduce your opponent to high-heaven.

The Protoss are the stereotypical, hyper-advanced alien race that seemingly dominates all. Several people say that the Protoss are the most imbalanced race in the whole game - at first, it might seem that way - it requires 4 Marines or 6 Zerglings to kill 1 Zealot, making the Zealot the most fearsome Tier 1 unit in the game. Reavers deal insane amounts of damage, High Templars have the ever powerful Psionic Storm, Dark Templars wreak havoc on unsuspecting bases, and who can forget the Carrier. And yet, despite this almost complete domination one for one, the Protoss suffer because they are like fuel-guzzling car. Without the cash rolling in, the Protoss can't do nuts. And when your opponent is containing you (Terran) or has taken every other expansion on the map (Zerg), you're pretty much screwed.

Unfortunately, it's getting a bit late, and I can't really talk more about this. I think I shall speak more on this subject tomorrow.

Dance.

2009-08-08T20:12:00.002+08:00

So.

I bought the dance ticket on a whim, mostly because I knew a heck load of people in dance, including half my math class, about 5 other random dancers and a couple of people from my class. I, of course, expected a pretty damn good show, mostly because drama wasn't as good as last year's, and because dance got gold with honours at this year's SYF.

And so I watched the Dance Festival of Arts. And it wasn't a damn good show.

...

IT WAS A F***ING HOLY-SHIT-INDUCING, EVIL-LAUGH INVOKING, STANDING-OVATION, WOLF-WHISTLING, SCREW PUNCHING PERFORMANCE. (okay maybe not the last superlative. but you know what I mean.)

Getting back to the topic at hand, Dance was good. And I mean real good. There were a whole ton of people I knew dancing, and some of them danced like gods. If only I could put the notion of how good they were into your heads..."Better than Michael Jackson"? Would that be a good description. Then again, it's not like Michael Jackson exactly. Aiyoh, I think I'd rather you see it for yourself. I wonder when their DVDs are going to come out, if they come out at all!

Sigh...that has got to be the best 10 bucks I've spent this year! Holy shit, it was just so worth it, I don't even have enough superlatives in my vocabulary to describe the damn thing. It was made all the better because I had awesome seats (thanks Bong), and because most of the awesome dancers were my friends.

The American dances were cool because of the breakdancing and the general appeal of American music + dance routines, the Capoeira was insanely awesome because of Jesmond doing handstands and shit that I could only dream of and Gareth acting completely out of character. The Argentine tango was fcuking good because of the slick moves and Joshua and Asalie being the total ballers that they are. Chinese Performing Arts Club's drum routine was as awesome as ever, the Filipino dance reminded me of my primary school days when I had to do something similar. The SYF piece was...gold with more-than-just-honours-like-sword-and-axe-and-full-suit-of-runic-armour-kind-of-honours.

If you can't tell that I was completely bowled over by the performance on Friday, then you a) need to learn English or b) need to learn English. Because the only thing was preventing me from laughing evilly throughout the entire performance was the Key threatening to beat the shit out of me.

To all those who watched - I think you'll agree it was a show worth watching. To all those who didn't, I think you should just jump through the nearest window right now. Because you missed one heck of a show. Kudos to the dance team.

Exam Results - Time to Bounce Back

2009-07-21T20:18:00.002+08:00

So it looks like exam results are back, and no one's blogged about that yet. Truth be told, I can understand why - these exam results were craptastic, and it was through no fault of the examiners. None of the exam papers were hard per se, except maybe for math. It was mostly careless mistakes and being non-exam smart, like spending 45 mins on the first question of Chem Paper 2. And in the end, everyone got full marks for that piece of shit, because it was ECF all the freaking way. Sian.

That said, I'm overall preeeety okay with my exam results. Considering how shitty I felt after most papers, I think this was a pretty good result, yup. I mean, seriously, for Geography, I didn't think I'd get a 7, much less top the level. Geography is a full of shit subject - the question I spent the least time (30 minutes) on got 15, and the question I spent the most time (45 minutes) on got 14. Wow, talk about time management.

In the end, my results looked like this:

Chinese 7

English 6

Physics 6 (SHOULD HAVE BEEN A 7 ASDF)

Math 6 (COULD HAVE BEEN A 7 ASDF)

Chem 6 (SCRUBBED OUT ASDF)

Geog 7 (THE ONLY PAPER I'M HAPPY FOR~~)

6 for English was a pleasant surprise, because I was totally expecting a 5, maybe even a 4 if my paper 2 was unlucky. By the grace of God, I somehow managed to get a 16 for Paper 1, which was about...6~7 marks higher than what I was expecting. Similarly, I only got 18 for Paper 2, which was about 4 marks lower than what I was expecting. Oh well, life's like that.

I guess I feel a little pissed at myself for missing out on Physics, Math and Chem 7s, but what the heck, I got what I deserved - except maybe for Math, because I really thought I did well for that paper. But yeah, not mugging definitions for Physics and being an idiot in Chem Paper 2 really took its toll. Ah well, what can I say? Time to mug for the Prelims.

In any case, I ought to be very thankful, because it seems that a lot people died. I know cherilyn, demel, lexyXD got lower than what they expected. Dndy got what we all expected him to get, so that was fine. Even the Light only got 39 - his LangArts is really becoming his Achilles Heel. But still, I think we were all pretty emo about the results, some more emo than others, and emo for different reasons.

Ah well, another round of exams over. Time to prepare for the next round - such is the life of an IB mugger.

A Fruitless Endeavor

2009-07-19T19:21:00.002+08:00

Well, well, well...It has been a long time since this blog was updated.

Of course, I don't think I should go into all the excuses about why I didn't update the blog, such as the slew of exams, the follow-up IAs such as World Lit and Geography IA, and perhaps most importantly, the obtainment of a certain novel called When the Seagulls Cry.

Speaking about When the Seagulls Cry, I highly recommend it. It is epic mindrape. Perfect for dealing with post-exam trauma and for a bit of escapism now and then.

However, this is not the main reason why I have decided posting today. As much as I'd like it to be (I'll probably come back and post on Seagulls one of these days), I realize that I cannot keep this secret any longer!

....

Wait for it...

....

It's coming soon....

....

I AM GAY! ZOMG!

....

Okay, just kidding, I'm not. But what the heck, I can't really think of a reason why I should post today, mostly because my most well-kept secret has ALREADY BEEN EXPOSED. I am not sure who exposed it, I'm not sure how they exposed it, but apparently it has made its rounds and now everyone knows it!

Now everyone is talking about taking me to fruit buffets and tying me to chairs and throwing fruits of various shapes and sizes my way (not the durian, not the durian, NOT THE DURIAN - cue splattering noises, drip drip drip - kihihihihihihihihihihihi). It is a terribly disturbing thought, but in the end, all of your efforts will bear no fruit! I WILL NEVER EAT THEM! NEVER!

The strange thing is, although many have asked, I myself do not know the reason why I do not attempt to even try these kind of foodstuffs. Like some people have craving for sweet stuff and things like lurpak (like, what the heck is that), I have a strange enmity with anything that has seeds in it. Tis' strange, tis' foul. Perhaps it's in my genes, but if that's the case, then I don't know which side of my family it came from. Gwehhhhhhhhhh, I wonder what makes me like this.

Oh well, I have a feeling it remain as one of the mysteries of the universe. Anyway, it is currently the least of my problems. Exam results are coming out soon, and I'm not exactly looking forward to them. I think I "failed" most of my subjects (meaning I didn't get 7, which is what we should all be aiming for anyway), and I know I already failed physics. Moderation or not, this means more mugging of definitions.

Hmm...in terms of side-projects, most have been brushed aside by the juggernaut known as When the Seagulls Cry. They'll be back though, and I already have an idea of what my next unfinished project should be. Hehehe, we'll try and resolve this one, shan't we?

In any case, I hope that I'll keep this blog alive. No time to write anything these days.

2009-07-02T19:47:00.002+08:00

This has been a good day!

Language Arts Marks Successfully Salvaged

Felt really good about this test. And when I say good, I mean punch-the-air-and-scream-I-have-salvaged-my-langarts-marks kinda good.

Starcraft 2 HD Videos

This just speaks for itself. MOAR HYDRALISKS. MOAR ULTRALISKS. MOAR PHASE PRISMS. EN TARO ADUN. FOR NERZHU - I MEAN, FOR AIUR. OR SHAKURAS NOW, AIUR'S A DUMP.

Oh hot damn.

This is my Jam.

This whole Zerg thing's nothing but a sham.

We don't understand

Bring the Protoss Band

Back to Aiur, A - Aiur, Aiur, A - Aiur

Aiur, A - Aiur, Aiur, A - Aiur

Can you tell I'm excited about Starcraft 2?

CLANNAD Kyou Chapter out

This speaks for itself as well. CLANNAD has always been a favourite of mine, and despite the fact that the Kyou chapter is the angst episode in the entire series...ah, what the heck, it's CLANNAD. That alone is enough to watch it, and it's gonna be better than the Tomoyo arc, anyway, because the Tomoyo arc was, IMO, one of the poorer arcs in the series.

Playing Poker/Taiti with my Dad.

How do you spell the name of the game anyway? Forget it, I'm not even gonna try. Safe to say that this was my favourite moment during the day. It's not often that you get to play with your Dad, and even less often when you trounce him spectacularly. This was pretty special for me, not just because it reinflated my ego (stupid kid), but also because my Dad's around only 100 days out of 365. It's really important that we play around when we're together.

No, we weren't playing with money - suffice to say that my Dad has to make me 8 drinks and has to cut me 2 fruits before he settles the debt. Hurrhurr, this provides me with enough betting power for the next round of poker! =D

Together Forever

2009-06-12T16:27:00.002+08:00

This post is NOT going to be a sappy, idealistic love story about a boy and a girl falling in love with another and living happily ever after.

No, this is a real life story of two people who have lived together all their lives, who have never been apart even for a second, who have grown to live with each other through all the pains, the sufferings, and the sadness of life.

This is the story of Ronnie and Donnie Galyon, two brothers who have lived together all the years of their life. Born in Dayton, Ohio on October 28, 1951. Since their birth, they have been through 57 years of life - a life filled with more than its fair share of trials and tribulations. By saving up money from their shows, the brothers have saved up enough money to retire and return to Ohio, where they will live out the rest of their days together in peace.

For those of you who have to take a long bus ride home everyday, you will know who I am talking about. For those who don't, Ronnie and Donnie are the world's oldest living set of conjoined twins and have somehow managed to get through life - a life filled with more pain and suffering than any of us will have in our lifetime.

There is something incredibly moving about the fact that despite their disability, the twins have managed to triumph over all the obstacles that life has had in store for them. In order to earn money for themselves, they had to do the only thing they could: be freakshow attractions, earning and enduring the disgust, the pity, the ridicule of their audiences; the laughs, the taunts, the sneers from passersby on the streets. I cannot even begin to imagine the willpower needed to endure that kind of pain.

Perhaps it was the fact that the brothers had each other. Perhaps, despite all the suffering that they had to go through, they knew that they could count on each other to comfort them, knew that one completely understood the other, in ways that one could not possibly imagine. Whatever the problem, they'd always be there for each other to provide that pat on the head, those words of encouragement, that warm hand on the shoulder.

But even this might have failed some times. The brothers had different likes, different personalities, different wants. They must have disagreed, must have argued, must have fought. They must have hated it - hated to be in the same place, in the same body as another. They wouldn't have been able to walk out of the room, to just walk away from it all. They'd have to face reality every time they opened their eyes, unable to run away from the fact that they would never live a normal life.

What could they do? They could have given up, could have thrown in the towel.

But they didn't. They learnt to live with each other, to help each other, to love each other, and to do things that they could not have done by themselves. They overcame all the obstacles that faced them, and eventually, through the money earned from their shows, they managed to retire with their younger brother and now reside in their hometown of Ohio.

It's a pretty well-known fact that I'm moved by the simplest of things, and this is no exception to that rule. Sometimes I wonder if my brother and I will have that kind of relationship when we grow older and leave our family. I can safely say that we're much closer than some of the siblings that we've seen out there, and we can talk to each other about embarrassing things.

There have, of course, been times when we've fought and quarrelled. I remember several particularly painful incidents when we were young, but that was a long time ago. Such conflicts are now often solved by a cry of, "HOLY SHIT FMA IS AWESOME", followed by a heated discussion of whether Ror or Edward was the better alchemist, often resulting in a toast of juice downstairs.

There are times though, when I wonder if this closeness will carry on into the working world. I often joke about earning the money while my brother helps me with the laundry, but that reality is almost definitely not going to happen. Still, it makes for a good laugh around the table now and then, and there are times when I am doubtful that this closeness will continue - the world does not have a good track record when it comes to familial relationships once you leave the family.

Ten, maybe twenty years into the future, will we still be able to drop work or play to go and help the other? Will we be able to take time off to sit down in some small cafe and talk about the latest chapter of One Piece (it should be around Chap 1023 by then), and make small talk about our lives? When we're old and withered, would we spend time to go and visit each other, and maybe have a small coffee and talk about old times?

So, my dear brother, fifty years from now, whether or not we're rich and successful or poor and destitute, whether or not we're healthy and fit or sick and dying, whether or not we're married to the love of our lives and have children or all alone in the world...let's take a vacation to Japan or Hawaii or New Zealand or Spain or some other country in the world, and sit and watch the sunset go down.

And let's always remember that no matter the physical difference between us, no matter our different personalities, no matter what our lives are like, we're connected by something that runs deeper than just the space around us. That no matter where we are, we're going to be together, forever.

How well do you know Jonny?

2009-05-27T23:11:00.002+08:00

Hmm...considering that I don't have a Facebook account, and that I'm too lazy to get one, I have decided to blog about this instead. This is the inevitable "How well do you know Jonny" quiz, and I must say, not many people know me well. Heck, even my brother only got 11/20.

Well...have fun with the quiz, lol. I'm willing to bet that no one will get above 15 for this test. Some questions are giveaways, while some are insanely tough. Whatever, just do your best!

1. If Jonny had a daughter, what would he name her?

a) Katherine

b) Carol

c) Magdalene

d) Sophia

2. If Jonny had a son, what would he name him?

a) Alain

b) Thomas

c) Ivan

d) James

3. If Jonny had to retire somewhere, where would he go?

a) Greece

b) Spain

c) New Zealand

d) Japan

4. Where does Jonny have 9 stitches?

a) Left Shoulder

b) Right Leg

c) Right Hip

d) Left Forehead

5. Which of his limbs has Jonny broken?

a) Left Arm

b) Right Arm

c) Left Leg

d) None of the Above

6. Which of these authors has Jonny not read?

a) Philip Reeve

b) Robin Hobb

c) C.S. Friedman

d) Steven Erikson

7. Which of these games does Jonny know how to play?

a) Company of Heroes

b) Melty Blood

c) Dead or Alive

d) Left4Dead

8. Which is Jonny's favourite comic?

a) The Far Side Gallery

b) Foxtrot

c) Insanity Streak

d) Calvin & Hobbes

9. Which Shopping Mall has Jonny never been to?

a) Paragon

b) Junction 8

c) Wheelock Place

d) Compassvale

10. Which is Jonny's favourite movie?

a) Terminator 2

b) Stardust

c) V for Vendetta

d) The Bourne Supremacy

11. Which fruit has Jonny eaten?

a) Durian

b) Mango

c) Coconut

d) Pears

12. What is Jonny's favourite colour?

a) White

b) Blue

c) Green

d) Red

13. What is Jonny's favourite mythical creature?

a) Manticore

b) Sphinx

c) Phoenix

d) Minotaur

14. Once home, how many hours does Jonny spend working everyday?

a) 2 hours

b) 3 hours

c) 4 hours

d) 5 hours

15. What is Jonny's weapon of choice?

a) Pistols

b) Longbow

c) Sabre

d) Scythe

16. Which is Jonny's favourite mythical weapon?

a) Kikuichimonji

b) Gungnir

c) Skadi

d) Lorelei

17. What time does Jonny wake up on non-school days?

a) 7am

b) 8am

c) 9am

d) 10am

18. Jonny got sent for Counselling once in Primary School. What crime did he commit?

a) Stealing

b) Forging signatures

c) Fighting

d) Truant

19. Which of these did Jonny not get hospitalised for?

a) High Fever

b) Concussion

c) Asthma

d) Bronchitis

20. Who is Jonny's role model?

a) Michael Schumacher

b) Tiger Woods

c) Roger Federer

d) Lance Armstrong

Heh, most of the difficult questions are in front. They're meant to scare you!

Anyway, as motivation, anyone who gets above...15. I'll treat them to a drink. =)

The Project Project

2009-05-24T17:15:00.002+08:00

Geez...work is really getting on my nerves...I really can't wait to drop all this project work and start mugging my ass off. At least then I won't have to think about what I'm doing, and can actually start writing PROPER blog posts again.

On the bright side, these time constraints have actually given me the opportunity to write about non-serious stuff, ie. "Dear Diary, today I went to the morgue to visit my friend, Joe..." That kinda thing. So yeah, perhaps this is one of those blessings in disguise things.

So...so what's been happening lately, other than the EEs and IAs and the to-be-coming TOK essays? Quite a few things, actually. We'll start on the ones that were quite some time ago, and the ones everyone should know about first.

Okay, so I think it was 2 weeks ago that Dneo got 3rd place in that Melty Blood Tournament. Kudos to him and his epic picture with the hot arcade chick. Kudos for choosing Maid Team over Kohaku as well, because I must admit, I had a lot more confidence in his Kohaku than his Maid Team. But I guess the novelty of it all must have paid off, 'cos no one knows how to fight a Maid Team. Nice play, Dneo, nice play.

Another nice play must go to Kuang in that same week when he won the Realm's Championship. Err...at least, I think that's what it's called. Well, even if it isn't you can read Kuang's commentary on the final game if you ask him nicely...and even then, he might not let you if his mood is too foul. Especially after his abysmal luck at the Darkmoon Faire, where I hear he did not do so well...nevertheless, good job, Kuang! I will always support you, man!

Speaking of the Darkmoon Faire, I did manage to get a chance to see Brad Watson, who is apparently the best WOW TCG player walking the planet right now...he went 7 - 0 yesterday, and as the Top 8 were playing today, I don't actually know what place he ended up with. But I have a feeling it isn't anything lower than 3rd. Utopia is an imba card in sealed (I sense much disagreement).

Moving on, it appears that Ryougi Shiki and Asagami Akiha vids are out! This might not mean much to anyone except about...four of us, but heck, it was awesome enought to talk about. Ryougi is animated almost exactly the same way she is in the movies, and Akiha...is Akiha. Wow...like really wow. Looking forward to crashing Junyi's house when he gets his hands on the game. And I'm sure Dneo can't wait to get his hands on the Kohaku-MechHisui team.

Backing up a little, I finally managed to beat Phantasmagoria of Flower View with one credit. Granted, I used a cheapo character who's EX ability is so freaking imba it shouldn't even be allowed in the game...but heck, it was worth it. Yay, so now I've managed to beat all the Touhou games on the normal difficulty, with the exception of SA, which is just insane, so I'm not even gonna try that one yet. Kudos to JK and Junyi for the advice about the PoFV.

Next up, the Final Fantasy concert, which I didn't actually go for. That's pretty unfortunate, really, 'cos they ran out of tickets before I even heard about the damned show. Okay, to be honest, I'm lying - they did have tickets, but only single seat tickets - what's the point of going to a concert without sitting with your friends? That's just retarded, even it is a Final Fantasy concert. Well...according to Cleon, it was one heck of a show...he even got Uematsu's autograph, the bastard. Ah well...maybe next time.

Anime is next, with both Haruhi and Eden being the highlights of the anime this week. Haruhi Season One With Extra Episodes is out - good ol' Haruhi. Same as before, but with slightly different animation. It's not that noticeable, but it looks like Lucky Star and K-ON have taken their toll on the team, if you know what I mean. Nevertheless, Haruhi is always good.

Eden is rocking our socks off with every episode, as usual. Super Illusion Material is now the in-thing, and damn, but that was one heck of an illusion. The thing is, I'm worried about the storyline...Eden is only what, 11 or 12 episodes long? We still haven't met all the Selecao, Johnny Hunter ain't dead yet, Careless Monday's not been explained, Mr. Outside hasn't been found, and who the heck is the damned Supporter? So many questions, so few episodes.

Moving on to more personal stuff, The Three Nightingales story is taking quite some time to write, partly because I'm procrastinating and having to dig myself out of the EE hole, but also because...well, it's not the kind of thing that people generally like. I mean, what the heck, it's too freaking idealistic and romantic and all the things that are me. So yeah...people don't like that kinda thing, unfortunately. Too bad.

On a more positive note, the Fire Emblem game is going along pretty well. It's kinda funny how I have more fun actually creating the game than playing it, but what the heck. I'm pretty damned sure that some of the characters I've created are imba, and that the usual people will have the normal criticisms, but I don't really care...it was quite fun making it all up! The storyline's pretty interesting as well, although even I think it's cheesy!

Finally, as you can see on my nick, I'm giving tuition *cue laughter from Herrick, Jarrel, Junyi...and pretty much everyone who is more pro than me, which is a lot of people* to anyone who wants it. My tuition doesn't cost a lot (maybe an iced milo in the SAC one day) and even then, I don't usually collect it (at least 24 people still owe me beer for the math port). But perhaps the selling point of my tuition is that I like to pride myself on being pretty clear. So yeah, if you need any help, I'd be happy to do so.

Haiku School Life

2009-05-17T13:23:00.003+08:00

Geez...it's really been too hot this week, both in terms of the temperature and the amount of work and arcading that's been going on. There's been absolutely no time to do anything than I want to do, which is a really sad reality. Ah well.

Never mind, I shall cheer myself up by making some Haikus. Haikus about...school! Yes, Haikus about school. Okay, very good, let's go!

EDIT: NOW WITH FANMADE HAIKUS

Riezz:

My mom makes cookies

Jonny keeps jewing cookies

He's such a bastard

I CHOOSE MAGIKARP

MAGIKARP! USE SPLASH ATTACK!

BUT NOTHING HAPPENED!

JSCY:

People are stupid

They can't even understand

Graduate math texts

Nidorina:

Hello, [insert name]

I got third in the tourney

Will you be my friend?

i like my sister

iluma chiobu fine too

i want her number

tourni winning strat

Qns: what's better than incest?*

Ans: Maid team twincest!

Yukarin:

Noel is moe

Fcuk, he can see my DP

This shit so imba

noel is awesome

hyaa hyaa hyaa hyaa blue fiyahh

2d owns dneo

oh my god sz

you are a fucking pedo

stop raping sister

Huazz:

Diglett used Earthquake.

But...there isn't a target.

The sandstorm rages.

*Apparently, Qns is pronounced as kyuns. o_O

Okay, I'm bored now.

Shucks, I really have to make a proper post one day.

The Corridor

2009-05-10T11:22:00.003+08:00

"Ah great. Just what I needed."

That was the final thought of Cpt. Darius Valentine as his experimental fighter jet crashed headlong into the Nevada Desert. It was quite funny how these experimental fighter jets always exploded in a large nuclear-bomb-esque mushroom cloud. It's also funny how the military always tells the pilot's families that their son/father/husband died in a traffic accident today. And it's absolutely hilarious how these accidents always happen in the Nevada Desert.

Unfortunately, Mr. Valentine wasn't laughing. It might have been because he had never read/watched many of these movies, but it was mostly because he was dead.

In this world, anyway.

Because instead of finding himself in the middle of that mushroom-shaped cloud of fire and smoke, Mr. Valentine found himself lying on a cold, dirty-green, marble floor. Now that was something that Mr. Valentine found funny. It wasn't everyday that you were saved from a plane crash only to end up in a world of green marble.

It was a few hours before Darius regained consciousness, and it was another half before he finally sat up to take stock of his surroundings. And so you couldn't have blamed his two companions from being a bit miffed. Surely you would be too, had you been sitting and watching an injured man for close to 4 hours.

Darius blinked, his eyes getting adjusted to the strange green light being given off by the marble structures. His two companions looked very strange, and it wasn't the light. Despite their unique appearances, Darius was quite sure that he had seen them before. One of them had an outrageous hairstyle, and a guitar strapped around his back. The other...well, he had an equally outrageous hairstyle, and some very dangerous looking claws.

"So you're finally awake. Good. Any longer, and I'd have taken his head off." - This was Dangerous Claw speaking.

"Aww, come on, Victor. If you were pissed, you should have said so...I'd have calmed you down with some of my soothing tunes." - This was obviously the guitar guy.

"Good idea...then I wouldn't have to kill this fellow. I'd have taken your head off instead."

"Well, that's fine, considering that we can't really die in this world, right?"

"I don't know, and to be honest, I don't really care. I just need to kill something once in a while."

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" asked Darius, getting just a little freaked out by the proceedings. Someone was going to take someone's head off, and by George, Darius wasn't going to let his head be taken off by anyone.

"Oh, so our sleeping beauty has finally rediscovered his vocal cords. You're one lucky punk; I was about to rip 'em out of your throat."

"Now, now, be nice," said the other man. Darius looked at him closely. He really did look familiar, but Darius just couldn't place him. "Now, let's start with the introductions. What planet are you from?"

"What...?" Darius lifted one eyebrow in puzzlement. "Why, Earth, of course. The both of you look like you came from there as well."

"Oh, stupid me...sorry about that, I should have asked you which reality you came from. Like this guy here, his name's Victor Creed. Know about him? No? Well, I guess that means you ain't from the same reality."

"Victor Creed? Isn't he Sabertooth from that comic...err...I think it was called X-Men."

"Oh, so you do know him? Splendid! Interesting, even. Well, then, do you know me?" The man beamed as he said this, giving Darius a full view of the white suit that he was wearing...and suddenly, something clicked in Darius' mind.

"Oh my god, you're Elvis Presley. The freak are you doing here?"

"Well, it's a long story, and I think my friend - you call him Sabertooth, right? - wouldn't be very pleased if we tarried around here for too long. Anyway, there are people much better suited to telling you about this place. Come on, let's get out of here before IT gets here."

"IT? Who the hell is IT? And how come I can suddenly pronounced capitalised words?" Darius was pretty confused.

"IT is a giant brain that lives around here somewhere. He's got quite a few henchmen, but nothing that Sabertooth here can't handle. Sure, the Man with the Red Eyes might be a bit of a problem, but...nah, I don't think we'll run into any trouble. And about the caps...well, you'll get used to it."

"Can we hurry up?" Victor growled, his eyes looking hungrily at Darius. "I sense something coming over here, and I'm not entirely sure that it's edible. I don't want to fight something I can't eat."

"Oh, it's probably not edible. But I agree, we should get the hell out of here."

Elvis pulled out a string from his guitar, and twisted it into an unusual shape, before sticking it into one of the walls. There was a sudden burst of light, and a loud tearing sound, as if the very fabric of reality had been ripped apart. Which it probably had, really. After the tearing sounds had ceased, Darius was unsurprised to see a door in the middle of the wall - these funny fantasy-stories always had doors appearing out of the strangest of locations.

"All right, guys...let's get the heck out of here!" And with that, the three of them walked through the door, disappearing from the Green Room forever.

Just as the three of them had left, a young boy named Charles Wallace walked into the room. He looked around, saw the wall where the door had been, and swore. "IT damn it, can't those idiots learn how to smooth time nicely? Geez, it's going to be hell getting rid of all these wrinkles."

-----------------

As Charles Wallace was complaining about the need to smoothen out reality, Darius was staring in disbelief as he found himself in a strange corridor. The green marble had disappeared now, to be replaced with white concrete. Opposite him was a door made of silver, shimmering slightly in the pale light that came from the ceiling. Looking around, Darius could see that there was a door every ten metres, of various shapes and sizes.

The Corridor seemed to go on forever, stretching out into the distance as far as he could see (which was very far - pilots needed to have perfect vision, after all). Darius looked back the way they came, and saw Elvis locking the green marble door behind him.

"Well, I guess it's time we got going...we should have been back nearly 3 hours ago, I suspect," said Elvis with aplomb. "Or maybe it was 3 days. I don't know, after 45 years in this place, I still can't tell."

"Yeah, yeah, now shut your trap and hail us a cab..." growled Sabertooth as he filed his nails on one of the concrete walls. "I sure as hell am not going to walk all the way back."

"But that costs money, you know...God knows I don't have a lot left..." said Elvis forlornly, searching his pockets for coins. "Come on, Darius, you're loaded...I don't suppose you'd care to lend us any?"

"What makes you think I've got anything? Anyway, how'd you know my name?"

"Ah, don't ask useless questions. Hurry up, give me that shiny thing on your shirt...or else Sabertooth will tear my head off...that would hurt, I think."

Darius looked down at his shirt, and saw that his medals were still attached to his sleeves. Well, they wouldn't be much use here...he might as well play along with these guys. "Yeah, whatever, take this one...Anyway, I assume that there's some head-honcho around here who will tell me what the hell is going on around here? Like, about the fact that I'm supposed to be dead?"

"Oh yes, of course. You'll meet her later. For now though, we need to get ourselves a cab..." Elvis took the medal from Darius, inspected it closely, nodded slowly, and then said, "You might want to try and stay close to the wall." Darius had only just registered Elvis' words before the King snapped his fingers.

There was an enormous gust of wind so strong that Darius was nearly blown all the way down the Corridor. Only the handle of the green door saved him - it had caught unto one of the straps of his jumpsuit, and using that as leverage, Darius managed to stay upright for the duration of the gale, which ended as quickly as it began.

"Whew...awesome. We managed to get this cab. We're in luck, Creed 'ol buddy."

Darius looked up at the cab, expecting to see one of those yellow taxis from New York, or even a Carriage from the Victorian Era. He didn't, however, expect to see a B-52 Bomber. His surprise didn't last for long - after all, his guess about the Victorian Carriage wasn't too far off the mark. He jumped after Elvis and Sabertooth as they climbed into the back of the B-52, which had been specially enlarged for up to 10 passengers.

"Where to, Sir?" asked the pilot as he gunned the Bomber's engines. "Back to Town?"

"Yeah, I guess so...I don't see where else we can go. You want to stop anywhere, Vicky?"

"No. And don't call me Vicky."

"Right. How about you, Darius? Got anywhere you'd like to visit before we take you to see the Commander?"

"A morgue."

Elvis looked concerned. "Hey man, don't go all suicidal on me...we did take all that effort to pick you up. Not to mention that the Commander will slaughter me. And if she doesn't, then Sabertooth will."

"I was being sarcastic...come on, let's go meet this Commander of yours."

Elvis looked very cheered up by this fact, and quickly instructed the pilot - or cab driver - to take us back to wherever the Commander was. The pilot nodded, and the engine burst to life, sending the Bomber rocketing down the Corridor, past hundreds, thousands, millions of doors.

As the Bomber flew onwards, the atmosphere became a lot more relaxed. Sabertooth pulled out a piece of wood from the inside of his coat, and started filing his nails on it. Elvis pulled out a glass of wine from somewhere above him, and started drinking, while pulling out a book from midair.

Darius, meanwhile, couldn't resist going back up to the cockpit. It hadn't been long ago that he nearly crashed his experimental jet, but flying was an addiction that Darius hadn't yet gotten over. As he entered the cockpit, the pilot gestured for him to sit down in the co-pilot's seat. As Darius did so, the pilot took off his helmet, revealing a pair of bright blue eyes and a youngish face that couldn't have been older than 25.

"You're USAF?" asked the boyish pilot. "Cor...haven't seen one of you guys for a long time. Did they just pick you up?"

"Err...well, I'm not sure. I guess they did. I don't really know too much about this place..."

"Well, I wouldn't expect you to. Hell, I'm pretty impressed. You're doing a much better job coping with this than I did."

"Yeah, well...I read a lot of fantasy books. I reckoned something like this would happen one of these days. What's your name, pilot?" asked Darius, curious about the boy's identity. It looked like the boy had come from the USAF as well, and perhaps Darius would be able to recognise the boy's name.

"The name's Johnny Taylor, sir...Don't worry, I suspect that you won't recognise the name. By my calculations, it's been nearly 70 years since I went missing from the USAF. Of course, I might not have disappeared from the reality you came from...but I don't really know much about these reality things. You'd have to ask the Commander that."

"Who is this Commander person, anyway? Seems like you guys look up to her a lot."

"Sure we do. She's the one who keeps everything running around here. Without her, this place would have collapsed a long time ago...especially with all the havoc that the Azores have been creating."

"The Azores? Who're they?"

"Oh yeah, you wouldn't know about them. Well, they're kinda like the bad guys around these parts. They keep screwing around with reality and time and stuff like that. I don't really know the details, somewhat 'cos I'm just a cab driver, but mostly because I don't understand this stuff. But yeah, I've been told to shoot them on sight. Now, if only I knew that an Azore looked like..."

"They aren't dangerous, are they?"

"Well, of course they are. Why'd you think we have Hunters crawling around every inch of the Corridor? Don't worry though, they wouldn't dare attack a Bomber like this one. Apparently they only affect the rooms."

Darius scratched his head, totally confused by now. Taylor glanced and grinned at Darius' obvious puzzlement. "Heh, I had to go through the exact same thing. Don't worry man, nothing's going to happen for a while...the Azores wouldn't dare attack this Bomber - this baby's still armed and dangerous."

Darius' eyes widened. "You've got nukes on this thing?"

"Close. Conventional payloads would be the proper term, I think. Don't really know, I flunked my theory test."

"I'm surprised that they even let you near this ship."

"My practical round was excellent, apparently. They just couldn't let me go. Not that it matters any more, of course. Not since I found myself here one day."

"Where is this place anyway? I gather that this place is called the Corridor, but is there anything else about it?"

"Well, I'm not sure of the details...but apparently this place is a connector for all the various possible realities. Each of those doors leads to a different reality, some dangerous, some benign. One of our realities lies somewhere behind one of those doors...the only problem is finding the right door, which - to be honest - is completely impossible."

"How'd we get here in the first place, then? Shouldn't we have come through our own door?"

"Well, that's the thing you see? The Commander thinks that it's because of the Azores that people like us appear out of nowhere. Sure, it happens on a regular basis when the Corridor gets warped out of its usual orientation, but apparently the Azores are making it worse by bending time and reality in individual rooms, and...okay, you know what, I think you'd better get the Commander to explain this to you. Even I don't know what I'm saying. All I know is that the Commander can predict when someone's going to fall into the wrong reality, and when that happens, she sends Hunters to pick them up."

"So...Elvis Presley and Victor Creed are Hunters in this world."

"To be precise, Elvis is the Hunter. Creed's his Adept. Basically, Elvis is the one with the key and the maps, whereas Creed's the guy with...the violent tendecies. Don't worry about not getting it the first time - just know that they're good at their jobs."

"Right...forgive me if I'm a little skeptical about that. Especially Elvis...he doesn't seem to be the reliable type."

Taylor laughed, and said, "That's true. But don't you worry, he'll pull through when the time calls for it. Which is to say, not during salvage missions. By the way, I suggest you get yourself a bit of sleep. This journey's going to take some time."

"Right...if you don't mind?" Darius leant onto the window of the passenger seat, feeling quite worn out all of a sudden. Being dropped into another reality all of a sudden is a tiring business, even for an ace fighter pilot. Just as Darius dropped off, he asked Taylor, "You know...what would have happened if Elvis hadn't picked us up back then?"

"Well...then the creatures in that reality would have gotten you. If you were lucky, then you'd have been assimilated into their reality, without knowing anything about the Corridor. If you were unlucky, then you'd have been killed in a war, or eaten by a monster, or worse. Of course, if you were really unlucky, then you'd have been taken by the Azores."

"Ah great. Just what I needed."

Labour Day

2009-05-01T20:44:00.002+08:00

Labour Day, the first of May.

What would we do without Labour Day? As the name suggests, this is the international public holiday given to us so that we can catch up on all our work. Just look at all the Internal Assessments, TOK/KI, EEs, random worksheets, studying for tests...even I'm having a hard time dealing with all this crap (FYI, my average sleep time has decreased...I now sleep at about 11 every night, especially if I want to watch anime).

Thankfully, some kind soul has given us time to catch up with of all this work, giving us a brief respite from the piles of projects and work. Imagine the horror if Labour Day fell on a Saturday! For one, the prices of movie tickets would skyrocket. Goodness.

So...yes, now that Labour Day has finally arrived, I have actually found time to post on this blog (which is not dead yet, might I remind you). Impossible as it is, work has actually kept me from doing the things I'd prefer to be doing - nevertheless, such a thing will not happen again...or at least, it won't happen after term 2.

Once again, we need to thank the kind soul who gave us Labour Day...what would we do without him?

-------------------------------

Of course, Labour Day wasn't really created so that we could catch up with our work. That's pretty dumb, since the whole point is that you were supposed to be taking a break from your work in the first place. Nevertheless, some people do indeed believe that the above is true - Labour Day exists so that we can labour through our backlog. The fact that we were actually able to book a badminton court today speaks multitudes about the culture in this country (admittedly, it could also do with the fact that many of us don't like exercising).

Well...okay, so let's get into the crux of this, shall we? I'll assume that you guys already know what Labour Day was supposed to represent...if you don't, then Google it. It's not that hard, as Jarrel keeps telling me.

To me, Labour Day is about seeing and appreciating the fruits of your labour. Many of the IB students study because they have to - they don't really know why they're studying. Oh, sure - many people study 'cos they want to be doctors, lawyers. But why Doctors and Lawyers? Well, because they earn the most money, I guess.

Okay, so I'm making one heck of a generalisation there, sorry. But hey, some people do have that kind of motivation. What about me, you ask? Well, according to the lastest thingymabobby that our school has given us, geologists are the least paid of all jobs in Singapore. Can't remember the figure, but it was at least a digit smaller that most. Poor, poor boy I am.

So...why Geology then? It pays dirt. Literally.

Well, it's 'cos I like studying Geology, just as some people like studying Medicine and some like studying Law. Unfortunately, I believe that we're kind of a rare breed. Of course, I know quite a few people who studying 'cos they like what they study...but trust me, they're few and far between.

---------------------

Anyway, I think we kind of went off track there. Missed the point, you know? We were at appreciating the fruits of your labour. Well, our labour doesn't just refer to our work and studies. It shouldn't, really, because we haven't actually garnered any fruits from our studies yet.

So what other fruits are there? Well, there are the fruits of your social life. How many friends do you really have at this moment? There are few friends that will stay as your friends through your life - those that do are increasingly difficult to find these days. As much as I'd like to believe that I'll never forget you guys, and as much as I'd like to believe that you guys will never forget me, there is always the chance that one of us will forget the other.

And so...I'd like to take this chance to thank all of you for being my friends. Mostly because I might not have the chance to do so in the future, when I will look back on my teenage life and remember all the people who made me...well, me. I'll try my best never to forget you guys (there are some guys I know I'll never forget), but please forgive me if I ever forget any of you. I'm not perfect, unfortunately, even though I try to be!

Hehe, you guys are the best, really! And please remind me about that in the future, because one of my major failings is taking things for granted in this world. At the risk of sounding like a lucky bastard, I would say that I've really been blessed with good luck (even better than yours, Darrell).

Come on, how many of you have the chance to play games like Pen and Paper Fire Emblem with your IB Year 5 brother and Sec 2 sister? How many of you have a chance to talk one on one with your father about the problems with your school life, especially emotional problems and troubles of the heart?

And perhaps the most valuable of all...how many of you have the chance to sit down on the floor as your great-grandmother tells you how much she loves you?

I may not be able to play Blazblue. I may not be the most reliable person around. I may not be able to sing, dance, or play an instrument. But God damn me if I'm not the most blessed person around these parts.

So appreciate the world around you. That's what Labour Day is about. Remembering everyone and anyone who made this world possible. And damn it, this world is good.

-----------------------

And of course, now I've got to go back to my EE. Hopefully, my next post will come sooner.

Dreams of an Otaku Part 2

2009-04-22T20:56:00.002+08:00

Frank: Welcome back folks, welcome back! We are once again back upon the fields of this lovely stadium, once again ready to plunge into one of the zaniest sports ever, once again prepared to face a life and death struggle against the opposing players, all the while remembering that salvation awaits the victor and darkness awaits the loser!

Frank: And so, folks, let us welcome back onto the field, the two teams, the Heroes and the Villains!

I sit up, groggily rubbing my temples with my palm. What’s with all the racket? What’s with all the noise? Why does it seem like I’m in another stadium? Why does it – HANG ON, THIS IS TOO FAMILIAR!

I sit up hurriedly, glancing around dugout. This is my dream again! The one with the baseball and the funny anime and manga characters running about! Oh gods, you mean I still haven’t escaped this place?

I sigh, and place my head in my hands. Well...I might as well practice my swinging...who knows when I’ll be called up again? Why, it feels like Furukawa will once again start rapping me on my head as soon as –

I was interrupted by a sudden rapping on my head, and I whipped around to see Furukaw – hang on, that’s not Furukawa! That’s...damn, I think I forgot his name! Shoots...but one thing’s for sure...he’s not an anime character...and he doesn’t seem to be playing baseball...for one, he’s got face paint all over him, and he’s holding an American Football.

...Oh no. Don’t tell me...

...

Too late.

Encik: “Stop slacking around lah! You think everyday Sunday, is it?”

He looked like a mean, lean, fighting machine, and he spoke like a Singaporean. Definitely not an anime character.

Encik: “I tell you siah, if you don’t kill those guys over there, I’m gonna knock you upside down!”

Herrick: Yes, yes, I’m going, I’m going...

It turns out this really was American Football. What a queer change. In fact, both the Villains and the Heroes changed as well. Everyone around here was familiar to me, but I just couldn’t quite place their names. But none of them where anime or manga characters. Which is a good thing, really. I didn’t want to get kooshed by Mr. Don.

Suddenly, the guy next to me passed me a plastic bag of green powder. My god, he was so strong, he nearly knocked the wind out of me just by passing me the bag.

Herrick: What’s this, man?

Booster: That’s creatine. Eat the whole bag, boy...you’re gonna need your strength for this match! And don’t forget to stretch!

Herrick: Well...don’t you need some as well? There has to be at least 100g of this stuff.

Booster: Don’t worry, I already took 5 bags this morning.

Herrick: FIVE BAGS?! ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS!?

Booster: Yeah...don’t worry, I don’t need such a large amount for a match like this! We’ll crush these small fry without much effort, you’ll see!

He stalked away, and I was left with a bag of Creatine. What the hell am I going to do with this?

Suddenly, the whistle blew, and everyone rushed to their starting positions. Looking opposite me at the opposing lineback, I saw that my opponent was a thin, sickly looking fellow. What the hell is he doing at the lineback position? Oh well...I’m doing the same thing, aren’t I?

Suddenly, there was a huge roar, and I charged at the enemy, intent on holding him off while the Heroes’ quarterback launched an attack deep into the enemy half!

The other sickly guy charged me back, yelling loudly like a madman

Stalker: I AM A PEDO!

Herrick: YOU’RE A WHAT?! AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A NAME LIKE STALKER?!

I was so surprised, the other guy pushed me over with ease. But my trailing legs caught him, and he fell over without much resistance. Just as I was about to hold him down, a giant sword crashed into the ground next to me.

Fate: HI NUBBIES! WATCH ME PWN THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, BITCHES!

With those words, he started flailing his sword about, chasing after both me and Stalker.

Herrick: Goddammit, who’s team are you on? AND SINCE WHEN WHERE SWORDS ALLOWED IN AMERICAN FOOTBALL?

Fate: Screw off! This is Insane American Football! No one gives a shit about the rules, nubby!

Herrick & Stalker: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Meanwhile, at the quarterback’s position.

Fortello: Now, if I could just get this thing to work...

Mutuhaha: What’s taking so long, Mr. Quarterback?

Fortello: This electrical glove is taking pretty long to start up...hmm...I think it’ll be done within 30 seconds...you think you can hold them off that long?

Mutuhaha: Err...you might to see that their tank column is – I’m sorry about that – their linebacks are breaking through our defences. Look, there’s one here now.

The Lord of Darkness: Hahaha! Bow before me, weaklings! If I defeat you here, I’ll be able to kope Herrick’s GDC for the rest of the year!

From the other side of the pitch.

Herrick: WHO THE HELL SAID YOU COULD DO THAT?!

Back to the action.

Fortello: Ahh! Come on, you stupid thing! Hurry up and recharge!

Mutuhaha: Excuse me, Mr. Quarterback, but should I engage the enemy?

Fortello: What? Aww, hell you should! Hurry up, or we’re actually going to lose ground this Down.

Mutuhaha: I got you, Sir! AIRBORNE DIVISIONS! CALLING IN SUPPORT!

From the other side of the pitch.

Herrick: THIS ISN’T COH GODDAMMIT! AND DON’T YOU PLAY WEHR?!

Back to the action.

The Lord of Darkness: Huh? What is this Airborne Division you speak of? You’re weird.

Mutuhaha: Don’t look down on the power of the American Army! Charge, my warriors!

The Lord of Darkness: Hmm? Parachutes? So you weren’t kidding when you said – HOLY SHIT, THEY’RE HAMSTERS?! What is this, Fumoffu?!

Fortello: Hey, that’s cool...when did you get those?

Mutuhaha: Ahh, I got ‘em cheap off this company called TNN. Pretty shady business, if you know what I mean. Anyway, you got that glove o’ yours ready? I don’t know if my little infantry division is going to last much longer...

Fortello: All set! Alright, get ready to fire. In three, two, one...!

Mutuhaha: ...

Fortello: God damn it, I hate it when this happens, what doesn’t it – WHOA!

From the other side of the field.

Herrick: Holy shit, what the hell was that? A rocket or something?

Stalker: I wouldn’t be surprised.

Fate: Shut up, Nubbies, you don’t have time to be talking! Stop running so I can troll you high heaven!

Herrick & Stalker: STOP SWINGING THAT SWORD AROUND!

Fortello: Well...that went better than I expected.

Mutuhaha: What kind of artillery was that, Sir?

Fortello: That was a railgun...experimental, of course.

Mutuhaha: Ahh. Accuracy is an issue, I take it.

Fortello: Only when things go wrong. Like...now. I wonder where it’s going to land...

About 50 yards down the line...

Homework: Hey, you! Get out of the way, damn it! Can’t you see I’m working here?

Lolicon: Huh? What’s that?

Homework: Any idiot can see that I’m building an airport! Now move aside...you aren’t even in my team, damn it.

Lolicon: Oh yeah...which team am I on again?

Homework: ...The Heroes’ team. I have no idea why I’m on the Villain’s team, but it matters. Not, now, if you please, would you mind...

Herrick & Stalker: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Fate: Come back here, you Nubbies!

Homework: Damn it, get...off...my...AIRPORT! RARGH!

The four of us: Herrick, Stalker, Fate and Homework start brawling. I think that the three of them fought amongst themselves more than me. Ahh well, I guess they’re not called the Villains for nothing.

Lolicon: Wow, that looks painful...anyway, that looks like a...THE FOOTBALL! Hah! There is no one standing in my path to VICTORY!

Jekay: Oh really? With my 4.6 second 40 yard dash, there’s no way you can catch me!

Lolicon: Oh no! You Villain! Never mind, I shall make up for it with my CROSS-HANDED PLAYING STYLE!

Jekay: ...What is a “Cross-Handed Playing Style”?

Lolicon: It’s amazing for grazing...look, all I gotta do is this, and then...

WHOOSH! The ball ripped past both Lolicon and Jekay.

Lolicon: Hah! See, I told’ya! Did you see that graze? God damn, I’m good!

Jekay: Weren’t we supposed to catch that?

Lolicon: OH NOES!

Herrick: You’re both idiots!

Suddenly...

Frank: TOUCHDOWN FOR THE HEROES!

All: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?

Herrick: Who the hell made that touchdown?

Jax: Heh. With my ability to hide my existence from everyone, I am the perfect player to score sudden touchdowns!

Suddenly, there is a gust of wind and...

All: WHERE DID HE GO?! HOLY SHIT, WHAT A SCARY GUY!

Frank: Uhh...well, ignoring that, the score now stands at 5 – 0, with the Heroes having a chance to gain another points either by a touchdown, or by kicking the ball into the scoring area. Let’s see what they’ll do, huh? Hmm...it looks like the Heroes are bringing out their star kicker, Tora!

Herrick: ...Our star kicker is a girl?

Tora: DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!

Herrick: A...ahaha, not particularly, no?

Tora: Oh...that’s good then!

Herrick: ...Never mind. Let’s get this over with, shall we? So who’s our opponent? Hmm...it looks like that guy is going to try and stop us...what’re we going to do?

Tora: He’s kinda short, don’t you think?

The Seng: Hey, watch out, man! I’m tall in stature.

Herrick: ...I’ve heard too many of these jokes before...sigh...

Frank: Enough of the chatter! Even now, the players are lining up, ready to try and prevent Tora from scoring with that deadly kick of hers! There she goes, smashing the ball into the air!

Herrick: Ooh, that looked like a good shot!

Tora: Mmhmm...okay lah.

The Seng: What the...this is so broken! How the hell am I supposed to reach that?

Young Boy: Hey, Seng! Take this!

To my horror, the Young Boy sudden kicks the Seng in the...the...well, you know what I mean.

The Seng: YEEEEEEEEEOOWCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Young Boy: Whoa...he’s flying, he’s flying!

Herrick: ARE WE IN A CARTOON OR SOMETHING?!

The Seng: Oh no...my voice just went twenty octaves higher...hang on, I’m now the same height as the ball! THIS IS WHAT ALL MY 6 YEARS OF GOALKEEPING HAVE PREPARED ME FOR! Here goes nothing!

From the ground, we can see that The Seng is tipping the ball a little off its course, leading the ball to certain doom!

Herrick: God Dammit, we need to do something!

Booster: Leave it to me! Astro! Hang on tight! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

Grabbing the poor boy – Astro, I believe his name was, Booster threw him high into the air, sending the boy somersaulting into the atmosphere! CRASH! It appeared that his flight into space was stopped only by the ball, which was struck back into its original path by Astro’s hair! Almost in slow motion, the ball slowly, but surely, flew closer and closer into the scoring area, somersaulting once, twice, thrice...

Herrick: GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!

Frank: Oh, fine! It’s now 6 – 0 to the Heroes! Congratulations!

Herrick: I have absolutely no idea how the hell that happened...but whatever. So I suppose that it’s the Villains –

WHAM! The Seng comes crashing down onto the ground, creating a man-shaped hole in the ground. Knowing the circumstances, the poor boy’s perfectly fine. What about Astro, though? Hmm...ahh, there is he is...wait...there’s something wrong about the guy using his hair as a parachute, right? Ahh, whatever, I don’t really care anymore...

Suddenly, there was a loud rumbling, and a giant tank...no, not a tank, but a Pershing smashed through the stadium, guns ablaze.

Pershing: Hey there, Herrick!

Herrick: ...weren't you a Gundam 00 the last time?

Pershing: But this is so much more stylish, don't you think? In any case, good job, you're about halfway through getting out of these weirdo dream.

Herrick: Didn't I already get out of the dream in the last baseball match? What am I doing here?

Pershing: Ahh...I don't know such things, unfortunately...the world is kinda warped around here...it must be Ranka's singing, it always screws up the continuum. Irritating woman, I never liked her songs anyway.

Herrick: Err...getting back on topic?

Pershing: Yes, well...to be honest I have no idea what's going to happen now...we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

Herrick: ...here we go again...

Waltzing Matilda

2009-04-18T14:02:00.001+08:00

See that jolly student, dropped outside the school one day,

He's gonna begin IB life, is he,

And he sang as skipped up the slope on that bright morning day,

"You'll come a-mugging IB life with me!"

Mugging Assessments, Mugging those Term Tests,

"You'll come a-mugging IB life with me!"

And he sang as skipped up the slope on that bright morning day,

"You'll come a-mugging IB life with me!"

Down came the work, piling up upon his head,

EE, IAs, TOK, whoopee!

And he sang as he sat, struggling through some damned uncertainties,

"I need Excel to do this with ease."

Working those IAs, no sleep till midnight,

"I need Excel to do this with ease."

And he sang as he sat, struggling through some damned uncertainties,

"I need Excel to do this with ease."

No more free time, gone like that small gust o' wind,

Work, work, work, and more work, you'll see!

And he sang as he slept, his mind filled up with misery,

"To survive, I need much more coffee!"

Coffee and Milo, Horlicks and Hi-Lo,

"To survive, I need much more coffee..."

And he sang as he slept, his filled up with misery,

"To survive, I need much more coffee..."

Exams have all passed, school's out, the hols are here to stay!

No more work, TOK, Hooray!

And he sang as he stared into the brightly lighted clear blue sky,

"Now it's time for NS, hooray!"

Push-ups and sit-ups, pull-ups and chin-ups,

"Now it's time for NS, hooray!"

And he sang as he pumped, his forehead filled with beads of sweat,

"IB Life beats this shit any day!"

Dreams of an Otaku Part 1

2009-04-11T17:36:00.002+08:00

Frank: Welcome, welcome! Welcome to the 15^th National Insanity Baseball Tournament! I’m Frank, and once again, welcome to the Finals of the Insanity Baseball Tournament! The two teams that have reached the finals have slaughtered many other teams to reach this stage of the tournament, and have gone through gruelling trials, so let’s give a hand for the two teams that are going to participate in this Grand Finale!

Frank: On the left dugout, we have the team Heroes, who have managed to defeat the favourites for this tournament, the Sidecharacters, and are now in the finals for the first time in the history of this tournament!

Frank: In the right dugout, we have the up-and-coming team Villains, who have managed to slaughter their way through to the finals with sheer force of will and a ruthlessness bordering on insanity, which is exactly what this tournament promotes!

Ouch...my head hurts...what’s with all the shouting? Wait a minute...what the hell am I doing in a stadium? This is insane, there are so many people around here! The last thing I remember was sleeping in my bedroom, and...

Furukawa Akio: Hey there! You, the sleepy one...yeah, that’s right, I’m talking to you!

Hang on a second, isn’t that Furukawa Akio? What the hell is he doing here? And why is he coming all the way here with a baseball bat and that mad gleam in his eye?

Thwack! Hey, stop rapping me with the bat, damn it!

Me: Yes, yes, what is it? I’m wide awake, wide awake!

Furukawa: Take this! Go out there and practice a few times, or else I’ll have you eat some of Sanae’s bread! What’s your name, anyway?

My name? True, I don’t really know what my name is...maybe I should give him some the most exotic name I can think of...

Me: My name’s Herrick...yeah, that’s right, Herrick.

Furukawa: What kind of name is that? Ah, whatever...get your ass over there and do a few practice swings...I have to get ready to pitch...

I walk over to the side of the dugout and sit down where Furukawa Akio can’t see me. I take stock of my situation: It seems that I’ve been caught up in some kind of baseball game, with people like Furukawa Akio...in fact, taking a look around, it seems that I’m surrounded by lots of people I know: that’s Edward Elric over there, isn’t it? Hmm...okay, so something very weird has happened here.

Hang on: If my last memory was that of sleeping, then this must be a dream! But...uh...I seem to be quite wide awake. I guess that this must be one of those dreams where you have to help your team win or something before it lets you out. Well then, I guess this means that I’ve got to win this baseball tournament!

Frank: So we begin the Final Game of the Tournament, starting with the Heroes’ Pitcher, Furukawa Akio stepping onto the mound! The Heroes’ talismanic Captain and Caterer, Furukawa’s the man to beat in this match! Let’s see who comes to face him in this first inning...it’s none other than the Death Metal God from Hell, Krauser II! Let’s hear what he has to say!

Krauser: Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!...

What the hell? Even Krauser is here! What kind of cracked up dream is this? Ah well...I guess as long as I help my team win, I’ll get the hell out of here! Looks like the first match is between Furukawa Akio and the Death Metal God Krauser...a mismatch if I ever saw one...

Frank: Hmm...I see that the Death God is especially eloquent today! Well, we’ll see what Hell’s power can do against the Bread-Baking Hero! The two of them take the stage!

Furukawa: Hey punk, have a taste of my one-meter dropping Forkball!

Herrick: Go be a pro, damn it!

Furukawa throws the ball, and HOLY SHIT, IT REALLY DOES DROP ONE METER. WHAT KIND OF BASEBALL ARE WE PLAYING HERE? The ball looks like it crashed smack-dab into the shortstop’s hands...but why the hell is Krauser on the ground, writhing? Don’t tell me the ball hit him? That’s pretty serious! I don’t know what kind of things can happen in this dream...maybe he really is seriously injured.

On closer inspection, it looks Krauser’s chewing on his bat...hang on, that’s not a bat, that’s A GUITAR? DON’T TELL ME THAT’S –

Frank: Look, it’s Krauser’s TEETH GUITAR!

Herrick: YOU’RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?

DMC Fan: GO TO DMC! GO TO DMC! GO TO DMC!...

Okay, this is a lot more screwed up than I could imagine...well, it looks like Krauser’s still doing his Teeth Guitar thing, and the referee says play on, so...Furukawa lets fly yet another one of his one meter dropping forkballs.

Referee: Strike Two! Strike Three! Batter Out!

Frank: It seems that Krauser’s Teeth Guitar has failed against Furukawa’s Pitching, and the Heroes have one out this inning! Perhaps the next batter can change the flow of the game! Out of the dugout comes...Mr. Don! The American Football genius...what the heck is he doing playing baseball? Can he even play? Well, we shall see how this turns out!

Mr. Don? Isn’t he the guy from that comic I read a few days ago? Holy smoke, this dream isn’t puling any punches here...anyway, it looks like Furukawa’s going to let fly once more...and there it goes. It’s a fastball this time, and HOLY SMOKES, IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S GOING AT 400KMPH.

Herrick: Go be a pro, damn it!

...Actually, I don’t think I should be surprised anymore. This is obviously not a normal dream. But maybe I should be surprised at the fact that Mr. Don ACTUALLY HIT THAT DAMN THING.

Frank: And the ball flies high into the air...wait, no! The ball has disintegrated!

Herrick: What? You mean the ball blew up?! How the hell is that possib – oh wait. Never mind.

Furukawa: Hey, you bastard! How the hell are we going to play now? You just destroyed one of the only balls we have in this stadium!

Herrick: You only have ONE ball in the ENTIRE stadium?

Furukawa: Shut up, Herrick, I had to cut costs!

Mr. Don: It’s so sad...this country can’t even begin to compete with the wealth of America!

Frank: Indeed, this is a predicament. Let’s see if our ball boys can calm Furukawa’s nerves...alright, it seems that they can’t. Hang on a moment...someone’s coming out from the Villain’s dugout. It’s one of their outfielders, Nrvnqsr Chaos (Nero Chaos, for short). It looks like he’s passing something over to Furukawa...

Even Nero Chaos is here? Looks like this dream isn’t open to just manga and anime then. Well, it looks like he’s just passed something to Furukawa...I wonder what it is?

Nero: This is a baseball made out of one of my 666 beasts! It is indestructible!

Furukawa: Ooh, sweet! Thanks mate, I’ll take this...ready to go, Mr. Don?

Frank: Well, it looks like the baseball problem’s been solved...let’s continue with the game!

Since that problem’s been solved, I should probably think of how to beat Mr. Don if I ever have to go up against him...it looks like Furukawa’s going to throw another one of those insane fastballs again. Well, I doubt that Mr. Don can hit this one, because...HE DID IT AGAIN. I can see the ball flying high into the air, coming down into the left outfield! Meanwhile, Mr. Don is running.

Mr. Don: Oh, it’s so sad! Even the opposing team’s captain can’t do anything against the power of America!

Furukawa: Just shut up, will you?

Meanwhile, I’m looking at the ball come down into the outfield. One of the outfielders is coming to get it...isn’t that Allen Walker? What the hell is an exorcist doing in a sports manga? Anyway, he’s running for the ball and – wait, he’s just awoken his Akuma Eye...what’s he planning to do?

Allen Walker: Holy smokes...that’s going pretty far. I think it’ll make a home run. But wait...what’s this? There’s an Akuma in the ball! It’s got a demonic presence around it! I must destroy it!

Herrick: Holy shit, don’t tell me...

But true enough, Allen fires his giant broadsword at the ball, obliterating and purifying it! There’s a flash of green light, and the ball explodes into a million pieces! So what happens now? The ball has been completely destroyed!

Frank: Well, according to the rules of this baseball tournament, if a ball gets destroyed, all runners on base proceed further by one base. So this means that Mr. Don has moved onto the second base! Let’s see what the players have to say.

Mr. Don: Oh, it’s so sad!

Herrick: Just shut up already!

Furukawa: Walker! How many times have I told you, NO INNOCENCE ON THE FIELD!

Allen: I’m sorry, Sir! But there really was an Akuma in the ball!

Furukawa: Stop joking around! Hurry up and get back to your position while I see off this next batter.

Speaking of which...who IS the next batter? Aren’t stadiums like this supposed to have boards that tell you who is going to bat next? Maybe this is another one of those costs that Furukawa cut. Anything, looking up, I see that the next batter is...Sunohara Youhei?!

Herrick: What the hell are you doing on the team?!

Furukawa: Aren’t you that useless guy who failed to do anything?

Sunohara: Hey, don’t look down on me! I can play basedall, okay!

Herrick: It’s baseball...

Sunohara: Whatever, come on, I’ll beat the crap outta you!

Well...whatever. If Sunohara’s on the opposing team, then this can only get easier, right? Furukawa launches another fastball, sending Sunohara sprawling to the ground in the shockwave!

Sunohara: How the hell am I supposed to hit that? You’re crazy, old man!

For once, I actually feel for Sunohara...anyway, that was strike one...Furukawa goes at it again, and it’s strike two! Wow...this is incredibly easy for Furukawa. Anyway, Sunohara gets up, and readies to swing. Furukawa winds up, and – WAIT, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Something just flew over the top of my head and smashed right smack into Sunohara’s stomach!

Sunohara: !!! What the hell is this? A dictionary? Hang on, this is familiar...KYOU, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU BIT –

Wham! That’s gotta hurt, another one of those dictionaries just slammed into his face! It looks like the paramedics are going to have to take him off the pitch...

Herrick: Just what the hell was with the dictionary? Geez, this is getting weirder and weirder.

Frank: This is quite unusual, even in this Insane Baseball Tournament. What’s the referee’s decision going to be? It looks like he’s called an out! Sunohara is struck out! So that makes two outs for the Villains, with only one runner on base!

Hmm...I’m not very sure of the rules for baseball, but I think that if we get another out, then this inning is over! And then maybe I’ll get out of this crazy dream! Anyway, we’ll have to see who’s going to come out of the dugout to take up the batter’s position...Oh no! It’s the worst possible person, Johnson! Unlike the rest of the people around here, this guy is actually a real baseball player!

Everyone: SAY WHAT?!

Why is everyone surprised at that? And perhaps more importantly, HOW COME EVERYONE CAN READ MY MIND? Well, this is a dream, after all. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Johnson: That’s right, Furukawa! I’m the world’s fastest base runner...there’s no way you can defeat me! With my run that lasts the entirety of 2.60 seconds, I will defeat you and your miserable 400kmph fastball!

Furukawa: Don’t count your dreadlocks before they’re combed, you damned dreads!

And so, Furukawa takes a shot, flinging his fastball at Johnson, blitzing to the shortstop at all of 400kmph! I pray that Johnson doesn’t hit it...come on, man, then I get out of this crazy dream as fast as I can! There’s a sudden cracking sound and...argh! It is just as I feared! Johnson makes a bunt, forcing the ball down as he makes his lightning-fast run to first base.

The ball bounces on the ground, kicking up sand. It looks like it’s rolling towards the left infielder, but he’s not moving! Come on, at this rate, not only will Johnson manage to reach first base, but Mr. Don will be able to reach third base as well!

Herrick: Come on! Why aren’t you getting the ball!

As if there was a magic in my words, the ball suddenly bounces straight at the left infielder, who catches it deftly without looking! It looks like I’m not the only guy who’s shocked at this: Johnson is looking with wide eyes at the left infielder, and doesn’t see that he’s going to crash into the wall!

Johnson: OH SHITE!!

With a loud smack, Johnson crashes! The left infielder only smiles...hang on, I think I recognise that guy...isn’t he Pain? What’s he doing here? In fact, maybe I should be asking what the hell he’s doing on the Heroes’ Team!

Pain: Haha, with my ability to attract and repel objects, there is no way your mere 2.60 second run is going to steal any bases. Can you feel my pain now?

Johnson: Argh! Where the hell did this wall come from? There isn’t supposed to be a wall in the middle of the batter’s box and first base!

Well, it looks like I’m safe for now! Pain’s managed to distract Johnson and get Mr. Don out at the same time! Speaking of which, where IS Mr. Don? Isn’t he supposed to be somewhere over...THERE?!

Herrick: Hey Pain! LOOK OUT!

Mr. Don: It’s too sad!

Pain: Heh, didn’t I say? My ability includes repulsion, and so...OOMPH!

With a thundering crash, Mr. Don lays the smackdown on Pain, hurtling the poor guy to the ground with a sickening crunch!

Herrick: Aren’t rugby tackles banned in baseball?!

Frank: Of course not! Anything goes in Insane Baseball!

Mr. Don: It’s so sad...you failed to take into account the fact that I read WSJ as well! I know that you have to wait at least 5 seconds before the ability activates again, and with my 40 yards dash under 5 seconds...there is no way you can win! Are you feeling the pain now?

Pain: I’ll say...ack!

Wow...it looks serious...I guess even ninjas aren’t generally prepared for America-styled Football tackles! Well, the paramedics are taking him off the pitch, but Furukawa is celebrating! All right! It looks like I can finally go home now! So I’m just going to wait here until something funny happens...like that robot over there.

Funny-looking robot: Hey there, Herrick! Sorry mate, but you can’t go back just yet.

Herrick: Who the hell are you? And why the hell aren’t I going home just yet?

Funny-looking robot: Well, in answer to your first question, I’m the Gundam 00, Trans-Am and Twin Drives included! No batteries though. And yes, you can’t go home just yet because the game hasn’t ended yet!

Herrick: A Gundam? But I’ve never watched Gundam before! And anyway, I thought we just beat the Villains by crushing them easily!

Gundam 00: Nope, unfortunately not. You see, this is just the first inning. Normal baseball has nine innings, and even Little League baseball has six innings! But don’t worry Insane Baseball, due to the insanity of the players involved, has only three innings! So you only have to go through another two and half innings before you go back. And you must win, of course.

Herrick: You’re kidding me! I’m supposed to stay through another five rounds of this, and win before I get to back home? This is insane!

Gundam 00: This is what this version of baseball is all about, anyway. Oh and yes, it’s a good point you’ve made. You’ve never watched Gundam before, right? Well, it’s true that only characters that you actually know are in this dream, but I’m not from your dream. I’ve actually been sent from Jarrel’s dream to aid you!

Herrick: ...I can’t escape him even in my dreams. This is TERRIBLE. Ah well...you’ll be helping me, right? Well...another two and half innings...how difficult can it get?

...

Tune in next time to find out what happens to Herrick and the Gundam 00 as they try and fight their way through a cracked-up dream and a game of seriously insane baseball!

The Arkhem Wars

2009-04-04T21:34:00.003+08:00

Welcome, my dear readers. You are some of the lucky few to have entered the halls of Arcueid-Bronsted’s castle, one of the few remaining stalwarts of the Arkhem Wars. This castle now houses one of the remaining few Lewis Bases, and I would be deeply honoured to take you around the building to view some of the most majestic remnants of the wars.

In this first room, you will find several pictures of soldiers standing at attention, soluting one of the great leaders of the war, General Laurie. The elderly among you might recognise the General as being one of the first to design and construct the facilities you see around us today. Of course, ever since the dissolution of the IUPAC, most of the bases have fallen into disrepair. The base in which you are now standing is one of the most well-preserved bases – even the lone pair of sentry towers remains intact.

Moving on into the next room, we come to the intelligence unit of the base. This was where the Union used to send out information in the form of codes to their soldiers on the front line. Using massive Spectrometers and Radars, the intelligence officers would be engaged in an information war, vaporising the last traces of evidence, accelerating the acquisition of information and deflecting the enemy’s suspicions. The hardest job, of course, was detecting enemy troop movements...this was made difficult due to the constant contamination of information samples. It is even said that the world’s most renowned superspy, Sigma Bond, worked here.

This room is also important for other reasons – it may not look like it, but this is where the first few copies of The Precipitation of War were drafted. It is all due to the influence of the men and women who were working here that we all know the progression of War. At the end of the war, all of the books concerning this particular subject were gathered here. Even the rarest volumes of this series, ProvoCation, Solutions to the War and Contact: The Process can be found within these walls.

Moving along, we find ourselves within the Engine Room. This is the heart of the facility, and it is what powers the lone pair of sentry towers and the Spectrometers located in the other sections of the facility. The generators powering the entire facility used to run on the BMW Engine (Bohr-Mendeleev-Watson), but that particular reactor was rendered obsolete with the discovery of the free energy provided by the Gibbs Machine. Even now, the Gibbs machine is proving to be extremely useful in providing many bases with free energy – some Gibbs Machines have even been fitted with TAS reactors, to quicken the creation of energy and increase the spontaneity of retaliation.

Near the end of the war, however, there was the possibility that the Gibbs Machine would be rendered obsolete like its predecessor, because of the discovery of the SHE (Standard Hydrogen Engine). Unlike the Gibbs, which released its energy in the form of heat, the SHE automatically converted the energy into electricity, which was a far more efficient way of powering the vehicles used in the war. Sadly, the SHE never saw mass production, because the materials needed to build the engine couldn’t be found in common laboratories, the engine needed to be kept in extremely specific conditions, and researchers couldn’t agree on a name for the tubular mechanism that powered the SHE.

Moving on to the penultimate section of our tour, this is that part that you’ve all been waiting for: the War Room. This is where all the Machines of War were stored after the government closed down the facility. As you can see, most of the weapons were kept in pristine condition – here is a pistol used by the Free Radicals – a group of terrorists cum superspies who were terminated halfway into the war. Over here, we can see the remains of what used to be a Cathode Ray – an artillery weapon that could fire over long distances. And here is a VESPER scout jet – one of the very first aircraft that could identify enemy formations without the use of a spectrometer.

On this side of the room, we see the very first steps towards the dreaded (and forbidden) art of MechAnimism. I trust that you all are familiar with the attempts of the military to synthesize new weapons of war through these dark methods. Even I know little about these disastrous experiments – there are even rumours that they managed to rearrange a person’s constituent atoms! It is lucky for us that IUPAC cancelled these diabolical experiments before they came to fruition.

Finally, we have come to the last room – the R&D Department. This is where the military developed their various technologies. Here, we can see their research into what was then the pinnacle of military theory – the Ammo Theory. This theory – when completed – would fully realise the potential of valence platoons in scouting, attacking and special operations such as Sigma Bonding.

Research was also being conducted into the manipulation of gravity. The military created many machines, including the Van der Waal Tank, which could cause the metal on other nearby tanks to be warped and distorted. There was also the Polariser, which could manipulate even light into various shapes (this was discontinued, however, because they could be easily found with the deployment of OATS (Optically Active Tanks/Soldiers)).

Another important piece of technology that was being developed was the Auto-Calibrated Instantaneously Delocalised Structure (ACIDS). These were at the forefront of military research, and would have allowed for the full, unhindered movement of ground-based facilities, allowing them to attack other bases via Nuclear Reactions. Unfortunately, the war ended before these ACIDS could be utilised. Nevertheless, other resourceful scientists managed to modify the ACIDS for civilian use, and now play an integral part of our lives.

Well, folks, this ends the tour of the Arcueid-Bronsted Castle. We hope to see you again next time, and please remember to buy something from the souvenir shop over there. Ciao!

Honour Amongst Thieves

2009-04-03T19:49:00.003+08:00

Having no work to do for the past few days has left me thinking, and one of the random musings that I've had over the past few days is that if a character from a fantasy book written in the 1980s was displaced and put into a fantasy book written in the 21st century, he would absolutely die.

Why? Not because of the newfangled magicks being used in the new novels, nor because of the strange weapons being used in the empires of the world. It's because the protagonists wouldn't know who the bad guys are.

If you look closely at newer books and novels, you realise that good guys try do bad things and bad guys aren't all that terrible. Books have progressed just like movies - gone are the days of black and white characters...everything is now in shades of grey. It's difficult to tell who's a good guy and who's a bad guy in stories today, and perhaps this is reflective of real life - no one's really a good guy or a bad guy in real life. Everyone has a reason for doing something, be his good or bad. Good people sometimes do bad things, and bad people sometimes do good things.

Perhaps one of the starkest examples of this is the greater number of books that promote a reversal of roles in so-called "Evil" character-archetypes. Stephanie Meyers' series, Twilight, dubbed as the new Harry Potter (and probably just as bad) has a vampire as the main character, and hence the good guy. Chrno Crusade has a demon as one of the major protagonists, Van Helsing has a werewolf, Record of a Fallen Vampire has...well, a vampire as the protagonist.

On the other hand, Neverwhere (by Neil Gaiman) has an angel as the primary antagonist, House is one heck of an asshole, and Stephen Donaldson's Thomas Covenant rapes the first girl he sees. Not such saintly actions from the so-called good guys.

To be honest, one of my favourite portrayals of a bad-turned-good character would be Tomoya from CLANNAD. I shan't focus too much on the details, the essential thing is this: Tomoya is the your stereotypical embodiment of a delinquent: fails in his studies, skips school whenever he feels like it, and has a temperament suited to fighting and brawling.

I'd rather not focus on his road to salvation (that's a story for another time), but rather on what made him this way. Tomoya grew up to become the person because of something that can happen to every family - his mother died in a car accident, and his father became a broken man because of the incident. So Tomoya, in his effort to get out of his broken family, becomes a delinquent in the eyes of others.

This story is something that can happen to pretty much anyone. No delinquents want to become delinquents - who would rather sell drugs on the street and engage in gangfights when they could be living a normal life and earning money to help their loved ones? I must say that it's because of Tomoya and his story that I've been more open to the people around me. And even in my workplace (hurrhurr) I've realised that people that I'd be tempted to call delinquents really do care for each other (in a delinquenty sort of way).

If you think about it, it's quite an interesting paradigm shift in the way good and bad people are portrayed in books, games and stories. Perhaps it is one of those symptoms of the great shift in the style of writing from twenty years ago. Rather than the fantastical, good & evil kind of battles, we have more of the realistic portrayals of the human psyche, more shades of grey - you never know who to root against, but you know who to root for.

The thing is...is this shift from the fantastic to the realistic a good thing or a bad thing? Personally, I think it's a good thing because there are no strictly evil people anymore - everyone who does something bad does so for a good reason. It also means that there aren't very many strictly good people any longer, which is something that I'm not really a fan of, but I must agree makes quite a lot of sense.

In any case, I should be getting back to my work and not randomly musing any longer. Bleh.

All about Love

2009-03-28T11:30:00.003+08:00

"You would risk the fate of the entire universe for the sake of a fleeting emotion?"

Just to put things in context, the emotion in question here is, of course, love. Why do I love this quote? I think it's mostly because of how well it places love in the grand scheme of things: it's nothing but a fleeting emotion that lasts for a passion of a second, and generally brings a lot of pain and suffering.

I also think that this quote was placed very poignantly, too. It was used to taunt the protagonist in the anime that it came from, and suddenly I realised something: it might not apply to most shows/movies/books/manga, but it certainly does apply to a lot of them - there are many antagonists who do the things they do because of love. Mr. Freeze (Frieze) for example, became the bad guy because he wanted to revive his wife.

So, from a completely different point of view, Simon really is a bad guy - he's jeopardising the fate of the entire universe just for a girl that he will eventually spend a grand total of 7 days with. Of course, from the other point of view, that's the power of love - between 7 days with a person you love and the entire bloody universe, you'd pick those 7 days.

"The person I love needs me..."

But one of the times that you enjoy the experience of being loved is when you feel that the person you love needs you. It's a feeling that I can't really explain, but I find that it's very, very true. I have not been in love before (proper love, anyway), and so I can't really comment on this, but heck, I figure that if you feel good helping that old lady cross the street, then you'd love helping the person who love with whatever they need help with.

It's a very special feeling to know that you're needed by someone. Not like in a sports game, when you're being pressured to win. No, this feeling is completely different, when someone special to you is relying on you to help him or her do something important...heh, it's kinda weird. I've never experienced it before, but I can imagine what it must feel like!

"I'm sorry...I just wanted to see my family again..."

This quote actually links back to the first one. This quote came from the antagonist of a manga that I read, and I must confess that I completely broke down when it came to this part of the manga. Heh, this kind of quote is why there are no true good and bad guys in the world. There are very few purely evil people - I won't say that there aren't, but there are definitely fewer than we give the world credit for.

In any case, most people do crazy, terrible, or downright foolhardy things in the name of love. And it doesn't have to be romantic kind of love. Platonic love does the same thing (perhaps to a lesser degree) and the love for a family provokes the exact same reaction. So love can usually bring out the worst in people, guiding them to do terrible things, such as blowing up entire cities and contracting themselves to all manner of dark gods.

Ending Scene of 5cm/s

Admittedly, this isn't a quote. But I couldn't really put "..." there, could I? In any case, for those of you who've watched this show, please continue reading. If not...well, you could always move on to the final quote.

Anyway, this ending scene of 5cm/s reminds us that love doesn't always work the way we imagine it to. It's a stark reminder of how the world isn't fair, how things don't go as planned, and how life doesn't end happily ever after. Ahh, life is sad, isn't it? I too, have had my first taste of defeat when it comes to life, and am right now picking up the pieces of my world. But well, you get used to it - I guess it's a test of your mental strength when it comes to things like this. Do you just sit on the ground and whine, or do you pick yourself up and keep going?

In the end though, you'll never be the same again...

"Perhaps we'll meet again in another 12,000 years."

When I first heard these words, I was shocked - not because of the physical impossibility of this task, but because of the fact that you're willing to wait 12,000 years just for someone to return. I can't even imagine the pain that you'd have to go through, waiting and waiting on the belief that you'll finally meet again in another 12 millienia. How can you even take such pain and suffering?

You have no idea if he'll return. You'll have no idea what he'll be like if he returns. You'll have no idea if he'll exist by then. But still you keep waiting. Why?

"I don't want to die alone..."

Because you never want to die alone. This is possibly the greatest truth of mankind. No matter where you are, no matter where you're from, the last thing you want to do is to die alone. In the manga where this quote came from, I can't help but tear up everytime I read the story. It's hard to explain the context, because the quote comes at the very end of the story...but I don't think you guys need the context to understand the truth behind this quote.

It's terrible to die alone. It's even more terrible to live life alone. I can't imagine living a life without someone by my side - it's just not possible. Sure, for some of you, getting married and having a family is something to be avoided at all costs. But I don't know if I can survive without getting married. It's probably just me, but I think the greatest joy in the world is being surrounded by people who love you.

The world, after all, is all about love.

Three Worlds

2009-03-20T08:51:00.004+08:00

Okay, before anyone continues, there are two things I must say:

1. THIS IS HERRICK'S FAULT

2. THIS IS GOING TO BE SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A STORY IDEA, I.E. IT'S TOO LONG, DON'T READ IT

Of course, I might decide to do the point form thing that Cherilyn proposed...or maybe I'll just go with the flow and see what happens. Ah well...

So...okay, this is where the story starts (I think).

The story begins with a boy named Claude, and his mother has disappeared after a failed physics experiment. Soon after the report of his mother's disappearance reaches his ears, he begins hearing these voices...like whisperings in a crowded room. After a few weeks of this unusual whisperings, he realises that they are becoming comprehensible, and soon realises that someone is trying to talk to him through these strange whisperings.

Listening in to the whisperings for a while, Claude finally understands that they are instructions to open a portal of some kind, and that this portal will eventually lead to his mother. Without any further hesitation, Claude starts following the instructions, which eventually lead him back to the physics laboratory where his mother worked, which has since been closed down.

The laboratory is deserted save for a couple of beggars here and there, who warn him that strange things have been going on around the laboratory in the weeks that it has been closed, including mysterious disappearances and strange creatures moving around at night. Despite this, Claude doesn't hesitate and quickly gets into the laboratory itself, where he finds dozens of dead bodies, all of them seemingly mauled by a vicious animal...or animals.

However, at the very heart of the building Claude finds a strange glowing device - almost immediately, the whisperings grow louder, and almost without meaning to, Claude finds himself setting up the device, even though he has no idea how to do so. Nevertheless, Claude manages to ready the device, and activate it, hurtling him into another world.

When Claude wakes up, he is greeted by a man...or at least, what looks like a man. The man introduces himself as a Atlantean named Jekill, and after giving Claude food and lodgings, then tells Claude where he is.

There are three worlds, and the fate of these worlds have been weaved together for centuries. Each of these three worlds is inhabitated by a different species, which are remarkably different: the Atlanteans, a high-class technocracy, occupy one world; the Moloch, a species of which little is known, occupy another and the final world is occupied by humans.

Claude's mother was working on experiment that allowed the connection of these three worlds, and her exploits caused a great shift universe, the full effects of which are yet to be determined. One of the more direct consequences was the opening of portals to each of these three worlds. However, the system of travel is unstable, and has only recently stabilized into a one-way system. Basically, the system looks like this: Earth ---> Atlanta ---> Moloch ---> Earth. It basically means that humans can't travel to the Moloch world without first passing through the Atlantean world, and the same thing for the other species.

Due to this one way system of getting from one planet to another, Claude finds that it is impossible to return to Earth via Earth-Atlanta Worldway - the only way he can return to Earth is by first going through the Moloch homeworld. Nevertheless, Claude has to first find out what happened to his mother during her stay at Atlanta, and Jekill and his close friend, Hide, decide to help the boy find out what happened to his mother.

After following a trail of clues, the trio eventually find out that Claude's mother was working with several elite Atlantean scientists to restore the Atlanta-Earth Worldway. However, all their efforts ended without any results - all they managed to do was create a Worldway between Atlanta and Moloch. Apparently, in an effort to return to Earth, Claude's mother volunteered as part of expeditionary force to the Moloch homeworld. Hearing this, there is not much choice for Claude except to venture into the Moloch homeworld in attempt to find his mother and return to Earth.

The Council of Scientists, however, refuse to let Claude continue on this journey - the expeditionary team was sent out nearly a week ago, and even though they were supposed to have returned two days ago, there has been no report from any member of the team to date. Despite Claude's protestations, the Council stands firm. They even put up heavy security around the Worldway, preventing Claude from even seeing the device. There's nothing that Claude can do about it, and so he stays with Jekill and Hide for a few days, which soon drag into weeks.

This changes abruptly one day, when the Council decides that enough time has passed - there can be no more waiting. Immediately, an armed special operations team is formed and prepped for any dangers that might arise while venturing into the Moloch homeworld. Claude, despite the fact that he has no training, joins them - after all, the special ops team needs someone to lead them back to the Earth-Atlanta Worldway if they want to return home.

Leading them through into the Moloch homeworld, the Atlanteans emerge into a jungle world, filled with humid rainforests. There is no sign of the original expeditionary team that was sent out a couple of weeks ago, and there doesn't seem to be any sign of life. The Atlanteans quickly move out further into the jungle, but they can find no trace of the expeditionary team, nor of any reason why they should not have reported back.

Suddenly, the team hears a terrible roar in the distance, which is answered by another roar, this one is much closer to home. Even with their training, the Special Ops team is greatly unnerved, and some of them even begin to turn and flee. Luckily, the Sergeant manages to get them under control, and the Special Ops team beats a hasty retreat.

But soon the jungle around them bursts into life, and the Special Ops team find themselves being attacked by savage, vicious-looking dog-like creatures. Immediately, the Special Ops team employ a fighting retreat, but even then several members of the team are ripped to shreds by the dog-like animals. The Sergeant realises that there's no where for them to run, and orders to the team to split, hopefully splitting their attackers into more manageable portions.

The move works - the Sergeant and Claude manage to escape briefly, which gives the Sergeant enough time to give Claude a Fleet Beacon, which allows Claude to contact the remaining squad members. The Sergeant and his remaining band of soldiers make their last stand, letting Claude escape with the Fleet Beacon.

Alone and with nowhere to go, Claude stumbles around for a few hours, trying to find a way out of this jungle. Suddenly, he remembers the Fleet Beacon, but he fears switching it on, just in case the dog-like animals are drawn to the sounds that it emits. Claude continues for a few moments, when he finally reaches something that looks like a road. Following the road, he comes to a strange hovel. As he searches the hovel for food, he realises that the hovel is something that has been constructed by the dog-like creatures (no doubt because of bits of human flesh strewn around), and quickly stumbles out, only to be surrounded by six of the dog-like animals.

Claude attempts to make a run for it, but he is swiftly chased down and mobbed by the animals. He is nearly killed by the animals, but manages to survive due to another group of the dog-like animals (we'll call them Moloch for ease of use) arriving. Claude uses this opportunity to escape from his attacks, bleeding profusely from his wounds.

Suddenly, yet another Moloch appears in front of him. This one, however, doesn't make any threatening movements - instead, it guides Claude to a stream where he can wash his wounds, and then leads him to another small hovel, where Claude is overjoyed to see the remnants of the Atlantean squad, all of them injured.

From there, Claude learns that the Atlanteans can actually talk to the Moloch, due to some technological devices as well as some genetic advantages. From their primitive communications, the remaining team understand that the group of Moloch surrounding them are renegades, and were part of the small team that managed to lead a group other humans and Atlanteans (presumably the expeditionary force and Claude's mother) to safety.

Repeating such a feat, however, is not easily achieved. Already, most of the Moloch are preparing to enter the Moloch-Earth Worldway in an attempt to take over Earth, and those against the act of invasion have not the political will to stop them. So, these six renegade Moloch have made it their duty to ferry these survivors to the other side of the Worldway, where they can shut down the gate.

Since most of the soldiers are injured, and Claude isn't in good shape either, the renegade Moloch carry them on their backs into the jungle. However, not even a half an hour into their journey, the Renegades realise that they are being chased by another band of Moloch, and so despite their heavy loads, increase their speeds, hurtling down through the jungles. After a frenetic chase through the jungles, they finally come upon the Worldway.

After battling and dodging through the Moloch defenses, only Claude manages to escape into the Worldway - the remaining soldiers and Renegades attempt to stall for time so that Claude and his mother (wherever she is) can destroy the Worldway.

Returning to Earth and the laboratory, Claude looks at the mauled bodies and realises that some Moloch have already gotten through the Worldway - probably an expedition party. In any case, he doesn't have much time left - the Moloch could be entering into Earth by the hundreds at any time. As he tries to find a way to shut down the Worldway, he is startled by a huge Moloch running at him, its eyes red with...madness? Hunger? Claude will never know.

So. The story stops here, unfortunately. Why? Because this is when I woke up, that's why.

Why the hell do I have such whacko dreams.

Math Port Is Not The Only Thing Ruining My Mind

2009-03-17T21:08:00.002+08:00

Actually, the problem here isn't the fact that the math portfolio is hard, it's just that it's too damn difficult to cut down on the page count. I mean, I had to stoop to making my equations smaller. OMG FAIL.

Anyway, ignoring the math portfolio and the 7 different people who are asking me for help, there is an even greater problem.

SHITTT HERRICK DON"T BUY A FRENCH MAID DRESS PLS.

In the event that any of you need a context for this comment (and I doubt any of you do), it basically started out as a bet between me and a fellow classmate (whom you should all know). And the stakes pretty much escalated to the point where I have to wear a French Maid's Dress if she doesn't get a 7.

Now, to be honest, I'm quite sure she'll get a 7. The thing is, I am also quite assured that she'd sacrifice a 45 just to see me in a French Maid's Dress. OH THE HORROR.

It doesn't help that most of the people around (INCLUDING SOME PEOPLE'S SISTERS) are also plotting to reduce me to a sad, miserable, cos-playing state. What the hell man, I don't think I'll look good in a French Maid's Dress. Which part of me looks like it'd look good in a French Maid's Dress, HUH!?

To Friends: I AM 100% NOT A GIRL DAMMIT.

To Others: Heheheheh, you can't tell if I'm a girl or not.

Getting back to the topic, things took a turn for the worse yesterday when someone actually decided to sponsor the bloody dress. OH SHI-. And then the conversation started to deteriorating into questions like, "Are there going to be THIGH-HIGH stockings?!"

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS.

Oh yeah, and you know how dreams often reflect your state of mind? Well, yesterday night, I dreamt that I was in an airplane crash. (For your info, I was NOT in a French Maid's Dress, kthx). So I guess you can tell that I'm a bit SUICIDAL here.

Ah well...all I gotta do is make sure she gets a 7, right?

...

Right?

Nubbynub Club Recruitment Drive

2009-03-11T19:57:00.002+08:00

Hello there! This particular post is a special one, as it concerns a matter that is very close to my heart! This is a recruitment drive for the Nubbynub Club, a special-interest group specially created for nubbynubs who find that they're bored of being nubs, and have decides to become kewl nubs.

So, without much further ado, let's learn more about the club!

Founder: Junyi

It is not especially certain when the Nubbynub Club was formed, but it is generally agreed upon that it was formed this year by a particularly "win" individual known as Junyi. Having a achieved a score of "FUCKWIN" on his DYWAL Tests*, Junyi was particularly driven to create the Nubbynub Club due to his passion to create a large community for people to troll, rather than having to waste time trolling every single nub one at a time. So next time you have the privilege of meeting this eminent man, please shake his hand and thank him for helping the community.

President: Jonny Voo

A failed ninja who still retains some semblance of his ninja prowess (seeing as he managed to get elected as President without even running for the Exco), Jonny is the president of the Nubbynub Club, and even though he has no idea why, still persists in his duty even though he is not sure what it entails. This is perhaps one of the reasons why Jonny was elected to the position of President: he still works hard at his task despite having no idea what his task is! A truly exemplary model of a Nubbynub.

Vice-President: DNeo

To be honest, it was a close run between DNeo and Jonny for the role of President - it was only because DNeo failed to turn up on the election date that Jonny was eventually elected President. This, of course, has generated much controversy within the ranks of the club, as some say that the fact that DNeo didn't turn up for the election should have automatically granted him the Presidency, but the protests didn't last long (since no one was protesting), and DNeo was unanimously elected as Vice President. As with all Vice-Presidents, DNeo's total contribution to the club has been zero.

Honourary Member: Winnie

Winnie was officially inducted into the club not very long ago. It is uncertain as to what exactly separates an Honourary Member from a normal Member, but I have a feeling that Members actually know that the club exists. Since Winnie was drafted in without his consent, it is unlikely that he knows of his prestigious position in our club, but we are sure that he will be delighted to know that all three members of the club respect him.

Secretary: Yanting

Yanting was the first member of the club that was recruited into the club who was not present at the founders meeting. Specially requested by the President of the club to join, she is the only girl in the club (although that fact would be disputed by founder Junyi) and has served diligently as the secretary for the past 2 days. She is also to be honoured for coming up with a short, succinct vision for the club: Blur.

ROLES TO BE FILLED

Treasurer: This role is one that requires a lot of resposibility and good accounting (ie, you need a calculator). However, as the Nubbynub Club is one of the few clubs that do not collect money from its members, the Treasurer's only task is to handle the accounts whenever the Club is sued by random companies for illegally downloading music, anime, movies, and other stuff.

Welfare: The role of Welfare is to be able to create a comfortable, safe and inviting environment for the nubs to lounge around in. In other words, the role of Welfare is to live in a nice house, located in a nice place so that others can come and crash whenever they want to. They should preferably also have access to canned drinks and cookies.

Teacher-In-Charge: A very important position in the hierarchy, as without a teacher-in-charge, the Club will not be able to hold activities in the school. This will not only prevent us from holding camps in school, but there will be no serious repercussions if we are caught breaking the rules, which is a truly unacceptable position - you are not a nub if you can avoid breaking the rules. Preferably, the teacher should not know the club exists.

Members: There are not entry requirements for the Nubbynub Club. In fact, it is more likely that you wil be entered into the Nubbynub Club if you have no achievements, as that already boosts your Nubbynub status sky high. However, to see if you are ready to join the Nubbynub Club, my suggestion would be to take the DYWAL Test to see how much you win/fail at life. After getting some advice for our founder, Mr Junyi, your application will be considered. On the other hand, if you are personally invited by our President, please do not hesitate to join.

So, if you seek to join the Nubbynub Club, please drop me an email at ongzph@gmail.com, and we will be glad to process your information, and will get back to you as soon as possible! If you have problems contacting us, remember our motto: If you can't mail it, fail it.

Thank you!

*For more information on the DYWAL (Do you win at Life?) Tests, please contact the test administrator, Mr Junyi, and he will arrange a interview for you.

High School Never Ends

2009-03-08T14:56:00.003+08:00

4 Years you think for sure
That's all you've got to endure
All the total dicks
All the Stuck-up Chicks
So superficial, so immature

Then When you graduate,
Ya take a look around and you say "Hey Wait!"
This is the same as where I just came from,
I thought it was over, Aw that's just great.

The Whole Damn World is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who's havin' sex
Who‘s got the money. Who gets the honeys
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess

And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends

High School Never Ends

Check out the popular kids
You'll never guess what Jessica did!
And how did Mary Kate lose all that weight?
And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom's straight!

And the only thing that matters,
Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair and the car you drive
Doesn't matter if you're 16 or 35

Reese Witherspoon, she's the Prom Queen
Bill Gates, Captain of the chess team
Jack Black, the clown
Brad Pitt, the quarterback

Seen it all before
I want my money back!

The Whole damn World is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's havin' sex
Who's in the club and who's on the drugs
And who's throwin up before they digest

And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
And you still listen to the same shit you did back then

High School Never Ends
High School Never Ends

The Whole Damn World is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who's havin sex
Who‘s got the money. Who gets the hunnys
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess

And I still don't have the right look
And I still have the same 3 friends
And I'm pretty much the same as I was back then

High School Never Ends
High School Never Ends
High School Never Ends
Here We Go Again

This pretty sums up my opinion of Hollywood. That said, school is awesome, no matter what anyone else says!

Lessons in Life

2009-03-04T18:24:00.002+08:00

I was once told by a very wise man that there are a lot of lessons to be learnt in life - there isn't a day that goes by without learning something or other. And so here are some of the lessons I've learnt today.

1. I've learnt that Geography is utterly boring
2. I've learnt that I am going to fail my Math's test
3. I've learnt that I'm not going to able to finish funding a project I've been working on for the past 3 months,
4. I've learnt that my LangArts is going to be the death of me
5. I've learnt that my Geography IA is going to bite the dust. Same for EE.

Such is life. There is a lot of crap right now in IB, and I doubt that I'm the only one with this sentiment.

Nevertheless, another wise friend told me that as you wander or struggle through life, you must remember always too look at the beautiful scenery around you. So here is what I've learnt by just sitting down and thinking.

1. I've learnt that I have some of the best friends in the world.
2. I've learnt that there are people willing to spend time to look in random stores for a poster of an age-old game that I love.
3. I've learnt that there are beautiful flowers around the HDB Hub area
4. I've learnt that when some people insult you, they don't really mean it
5. I've learnt that friends, once made, are friends forever

And perhaps the most valuable thing that I learnt today was that if you wear a pair of old, worn out iPOD earphones, complete with cheap wiring and a faulty mp3 player, and you lean your ears against the metal poles near the doors of every MRT train, the sound of the MRT going over the tracks complements the beat of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni beautifully.

Such is Life. It is good.

Thanks for the Happy Birthday!

2009-03-03T20:49:00.002+08:00

Oh my...I've never had so much cake in my life! Really guys, thanks so very much for all the presents and cake and celebrations...Haha, this is probably the most awesome birthday I've ever had in my life!

Here's thanks to all the people who gave me cake - Pam, Kwong, Celestyn, Cheryl, Edward, Herrick, Jarrel, Junyi, Dneo, Ping, Sera and Yam, and my entire class (sorry, can't name all of you =p...but thanks to Jia Long for the actual cake!)

Really...once again, thanks for making this a really awesome birthday that I'll remember from many years to come!

Dream Machine

2009-03-01T15:17:00.000+08:00

Fret not! This isn't one of those long, long, LONG posts about my story ideas. Nope, this post is about creating them, and how I manage to think up my own ideas easily. Of course, this doesn't mean that the ideas are good, and there has been many a time when I've thrown away ideas 'cos they were pretty crappy. But heck, at least making them quickly is fun and relatively painless. =)

Let's see here...it's actually pretty hard to explain how I can create these ideas, just as it's hard for Jarrel to explain to us how he can do those stupid integration problems by intuition. Nevertheless, I shall try my best to figure out how I do it!

1. Dreams

Well, this is something that everyone can do, because it's pretty easy. I mean, everyone has dreams, right? (Shaddup Dneo, I know you don't sleep) Well, make use of them! Here are several kinds of dreams that you can get:

a. Crazy Dreams - dreams that make no sense, no matter how you look at it. In actual fact, all dreams come under this category, but for classification's sake, these are the crazier dreams. Crazy Dream Alpha, that kinda thing.

Example: The one with the aliens turning into flowers when you pour water on their toes. That dream also included a Wookiee, Manta Rays and Skyscrapers with manholes in them.

b. Chasing Dreams - dreams that often involving someone (or something) chasing someone else (generally yourself), around and around. These dreams often involve some crazily imbalanced beast of destruction and cement on the floor wherever you're standing. Of course, these conditions might change occasionally. Personally, whenever I'm chased, it feels like I'm running in water.

Example: The one where I was being chased by 23 Octupii with throwing knives.

c. Epic Dreams - dreams that are so damned epic, they make for ridiculously epic stories. And when I say ridiculously epic, I mean RIDICULOUSLY EPIC. These dreams are often so epic, mind-boggling, and reason-kicking-to-the-curbing, that they make for good short stories, but are bad for long ones.

Example: The one where I was a fighting game character and...well, you'll have to come to me for details, it's too epic to explain here.

d. Action Dreams - dreams that involve a scene that is incredibly realistic, and not too over the top. These dreams are rare, but when they do come across, they're pretty valuable, and the great thing is that they don't even need to be a series of events, just a scene will do sometimes! Having a series of events is okay, of course, but having a longing viewing time also increases the chances of something becoming damn screwed up.

Example: The one where there were giant starships hovering about the Egyptian Pyramids and strange constructions/zombies running all over the place. Okay, so it's not very realistic, but still, it's more realistic than some of the other dreams I've had (see above) and well...sounds like it'll be fun!

So, yup, dreams are a pretty good way of helping you come up with random ideas like stories or scenes. And it's also very entertaining to remember your dreams and all the people in them. Just this morning, I had a really wacky dream involving several strange personages, including some random guy called Julian, a powerboat chase, worm farms and chainsaws.

And...okay, I realise I have to stop writing for now, or else this post will get too long! Tune in another time for information on the source of my randomness! =P

Disappointing, son!

2009-02-25T16:15:00.002+08:00

Hmm...I have noticed something really strange about the past few weeks. Somehow, they've been one heck of a roller coaster ride in terms of good points and bad points, and it's been full of disappointments now and then. There have been, of course, lot's of happy times as well, but as humans, we generally tend to remember the times when we've been betrayed, hurt or embarrassed more vividly than the other joyful, carefree times.

So, as I was thinking about the disappointments in the past few weeks, I suddenly realised something, and perhaps this is a very pertinent question.

Which is worst, being disappointed by a friend, or being disappointed by yourself?

This is probably quite a strange question, but if you think about it, it's pretty true - the feeling that you get when you are betrayed (okay, maybe that's too strong a word...let down, perhaps?) by your friends and that when you are disappointed by yourself is very different. Of course, people who have awesome friends or emo-people who blame themselves all the time won't know this, but I guess most of us should!

And well, in my opinion, I think that getting disappointed by myself is a lot worse than getting disappointed by your friends. The feeling that you get when you know you could have and should have done better in something is terrible, and you feel really bad for a few moments.

And I guess this is where people begin to think differently. Either you can go on thinking that you're really dumb and keep harping about the fact that you did terribly, or you can pick yourself up and keep on fighting! That's the great thing about being disappointed by yourself, because while you can't change other people, you can definitely change yourself whenever you want to!

And as for being disappointed by my friends...well, I guess I'm one of those people with awesome friends who never disappoint!

Academic Awards and Other Stuff

2009-02-18T21:56:00.003+08:00

Not for the first time this year, I realise that I am surrounded by some incredibly smart people. Generally, I am reminded about this fact every time I see a particular person from a particular class. *ahem ahem* I think you know who this guy is.

But this time, my observation has been driven by the fact that many of the recent Academic Award winners are either from my class, my previous class or just people I know as friends. It is really quite scary...here's a list of subjects (rather than names).

My "last time" class
1st in Level
3rd in Level
Physics (HL)
Mathematics (HL)
Biology (HL)
Geography (HL)
Biology (SL)
Geography (SL)

My "this year's" class
History (HL)
Language Arts (HL)
Economics (HL)
Visual Arts (HL)
Computer Science (there's only HL for this stuff...so random)
Theatre Arts (SL...again quite random)

Good Friends
Mathematical Studies (there's only SL for this stuff)
French B (same for this as well...this one is also damn random)
Economics (SL)

And these are only the people that I know personally! As in, that means I hang around them for quite some periods of time! Quite amazing, I must say. Quite scary as well...I didn't know there were so many smart people around me. It's really frightening. I guess I'm just lucky that I know these guys.

Of course, academic awards aren't the only important things in times like this - companionship is pretty important as well, and I feel that I've gotten to know a lot of people better over the course of this year. Okay, so that's being a little dumb, 'cos the year's lasted the whole of two months. But what the heck, I've learnt a lot about various friends, both new and old. Which is a very good thing. I think it's important to understand your friends well, to know their aims and aspirations and outlooks in life!

Keep looking forward! We'll all (hopefully/definitely/probably) get a prize someday!

Idealism

2009-02-14T21:03:00.003+08:00

Well, it's been a long time since I've blogged, and it's not a great wonder if you've known what I've been through the past week. Nevertheless, hthings have been looking up, and so I'm pretty much back to normal!

Another reason why I've not blogged is because of the relatively unsavory comments left by Mrs Cherilyn, which, although true, are still kinda "AHH WHAT THE HECK MIGHT AS WELL NOT BLOG" inducing. But heck, I'll just try and blog something today - after all, no one's perfect.

Speaking of perfection, I think I'll talk about perfection in this blog post. Mostly because I'm bored, but also because it was the first thing that came to my mind, yup. Anyway, we need to talk about perfection in relation to something, right? Hmm...let's see, let's see...what day is it today? Oh yes! It's Valentine's Day! Perfect!

Well, well, well. This topic is pretty close to my heart, because I sappily think that love is the most important thing in this world, and because I believe in a very idealized version of love. But this isn't always a good thing, because it generally tends to get you hurt a lot - I'd be the first to admit that it does. But heck, in the end, it's quite worth it. At least, I hope so.

To be honest, my idealized view of life comes from my upbringing. My parents and siblings were always very kind and nice to me, and so I never really had any troubles at home, which I know is very different from some of my friends. In addition, my first introduction to books was David Eddings, and in his stories, everyone either:

1. Gets Married
2. Falls in Love
3. Is Killed
4. All of the above, or any combination of the three

Yup, that's right. Most of the characters in Eddings have really good endings, and most of those good endings involve falling in love and getting married off to other characters. Many of the characters are handsome, beautiful, angels (in terms of personality) and generally all-round Mary Sues. Which, in my opinion, is not a bad thing!

In the end, that's how I grew up. I've always thought that love was a really sacred thing that shouldn't be taken lightly, and that deserved a lot of respect. This was the reason for my outburst a week out (involving that idiot and divorce), as well as my general contempt for anyone who divorces, has an abortion, etc, etc. Being a romantic, I would never, ever do things like that, and I probably never will.

Being a romantic is generally very recognisable. I don't know about real romantics (I'd have to go to France for that), but I know that I am absolutely terrible amongst girls. I learnt that as early as Pri 4, but it still haunts me to this very day. Even now, I don't think that I could ever say "No" when asked by a girl to do something (of course, I'd probably not say "No" when any of my other friends asked me something either), and I still can't talk to girls as freely as I can talk to guys. I have no idea how to treat girls properly (as evidenced by my absolute failure during my class's angel-mortal game), and I'll probably have no idea what to do with a girl when/if I get a girlfriend.

Of course, there are a lot of bad points to being a romantic. Number One is that I'm very likely to be the one to initiate relationships, and probably be the one who'll be dumped at the end of it all. This will mean a lot of pain, and hurt, and a hell lot of crying (which I am very wont to do). Getting out of a relationship and getting over a girl I like will probably be a lot harder for me than it will be for anyone else, and I've already been through quite a lot of that, I think!

Another bad thing about being a romantic is that there's always the fear that he/she will never be loved or married. If you asked me, my greatest fear would probably that of not getting married to someone else. Sure, that's a very stupid fear, because everyone's getting married nowadays. That's true, of course, but how many of those couples stay married? It's one thing to fall in love, and a completely different thing to stay together for the rest of your life. You can't just give everything to someone you know will not love you forever and ever. At least, romantics can't.

That's why being a romantic is a very difficult job. You are essentially searching for a perfect scenario, an event that probably only exists in stories and movies. In real life, searching for the perfect person, or a soul mate, is really very difficult, and although I believe that there is someone out there for me, finding her is a completely different matter. For all I know, I've already missed my chance!

That's also a reason why a lot of people criticise romanticists. Throwing your heart to the wind and hoping that destiny or fate will blow it somewhere nice is not just impractical, it's also really freaking dumb. I too, admit that doing this isn't exactly the most rational thing to do. There is always the chance that I'll end up being alone and lonely.

But I say hell to all of that! I guess that the Do-or-Die Gamble is all part of the fun of being a romanticist. Seeing whether or not all this romanticist stuff pays off in the end is what I really look forward to. No matter what the result, I've always enjoyed being a romanticist. To quote a very good friend of mine, "It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you don't regret what you did."

And I must say, I don't think I'll ever regret this!

Out of Love, Out of Pocket

2009-02-08T20:07:00.002+08:00

This was a shitty weekend, made even shittier by the appearance of an article in the newspaper, the title of which has already been mentioned previously.

So I did my normal reading pattern. Which is to look at the title (as above) and then the caption, which read: Work hard on your marriage; a failed union can cost you dearly.

My first reaction was:

WHAT THE F#$% IS THIS SHIT.

My second reaction was:

WHAT THE F#$% IS THIS SHIT.

I don't think I need to tell you what my third reaction was.

I have serious problems with this article. Firstly, you're having a divorce, and only thing you have on your mind is how much money you're going to lose?! Goddammit, what the hell is wrong with you?!

I know that marriage really isn't the "in-thing" at the moment, but I really do believe that marriage has got to have at least some vestiges of meaning attached to it. Marriage isn't something you enter just so that you can get freaking laid. If you want to do shit like that, go to a goddamned brothel or something.

"It had not occurred to him how much a failed marriage would set him back financially." - Seriously. WHAT THE F#$%. I bet the moron didn't realise how much a failed marriage would set him back morally as well.

This is the sad thing about the world today. No one around here believes in love. What happened to the romantic era? The message of "Love overcomes everything" has been changed to "Love overcomes everything except long working hours, a busy travelling schedule and financial damages from a failed marriage".

The hell man. Why the hell did you marry your significant other if your love for him/her can't even overcome the obstacle of not being able to see each other except for a few hours? There is a thin line between lust and love, and it is INCREDIBLY important to distinguish between the two. If you're into marriage just so that you can spend one night with that person, then just find a dark alleyway and do your stuff. It's cheaper, anyway.

Furthermore, what kind of excuse is not being able to see your spouses awake for more than 4 hours everyday? Think back to the time you first met him or her. Can you remember saying to yourself that you'd give anything just to spend 4 minutes with that person alone? If you can't remember it, it's probably either because you were too stunned at seeing the said person, or because you just saw a shiny quarter on the street just as he/she came by.

"In reality, there will be days when you don't see eye to eye with your spouse and actions fall short of expectations." - This is true, but that's the whole point of love, isn't it? The fact is that love isn't just about the money. Heck, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the money. I'd happily marry a poor girl on the street if I loved her and she loved me. If your love is as strong as your money, then just marry yourself off to that old lady down the road. No income tax.

In the end, it's not about the money. It's about the love that you have for each other that really keeps you going. Just watch/read CLANNAD to know what I'm talking about.

Storyflash: Avatar 3

2009-02-04T19:43:00.002+08:00

Alright, before you read this post, make sure you read the previous post about resolving issues. Keep it in mind while reading this!

Part 3: Scarlet Sunset

This part of the story starts off with Captain Oliver Corr, a member of the New York Police Force. Together with several other police officers, Lewis Carr, Jack McDonnell and Francis Bates, Captain Oliver and his teammates are making their way towards an old apartment building, after a tip from an unknown person about the presence of a drug smuggling ring around that area.

When they do reach the apartment building, there seem to be no signs of life. No noise comes from the interior of the building, and it looks like no one has been there for ages. Nevertheless, Oliver orders his teammates to enter the apartment anyway, just in case something is amiss. As the four policemen enter the apartment, Oliver is struck by a strange feeling of uneasiness. Something was dreadfully wrong, but he has no idea what it is.

Moving towards the stairs, Oliver orders his teammates to split up and search the apartments. Oliver doesn't want to spend too much time in this place, and luckily, the apartment building is a small one, with only a few different apartments on the two floors.

But as Oliver reaches the first apartment, he sees the telltale trickle of blood, and the smell of decomposing flesh. Entering the room, he finds a pile of corpses, and it looks like they haven't been dead for long. Oliver quickly rushes from the room, ready to call the CSIs to the scene, but before he can do so, he hears a bloodcurdling shriek, and he sees the upper torso of Lewis crashing onto the floor before him. The rest of his body is lying at the foot of a giant, humanoid looking creature.

Pause for description: The creature is wearing a black metal mask, has twelve inch long claws, and is hunched over, as if trying to avoid the ceiling. It has no facial features except for a huge mouth, and it seems to hover above the ground.

The shriek has brought Officers McDonnell and Bates to the scene, and as they see the giant creature, they start firing upon it. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to inflict much damage, and with a lightning fast movement, the creature is upon the two Officers, shredding them to a pulp. Oliver quickly calls for reinforcements, all the while trying to shoot the creature - let's call the creature a Shade.

The Shade once again uses it's lightning fast movement to run at Oliver, but the police captain immediately throws himself out the balcony. Having only two storeys to fall, Oliver manages to make it out with nothing but a fractured rib, and he quickly returns to the police station, where he informs his superiors about the situation.

After a few days, Oliver - and the rest of the world, for that matter - is beginning to realise that this isn't an isolated event. In addition to the deaths of the three police officers, there were five more gruesome deaths in the immediate area. Not only that, but more bodies started to appear in three other locations around the city - in fact, bodies started appearing in many of the major cities in America - Washington, Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco...

After doing some research, Oliver realises that the bodies are appearing in areas near buildings owned by the Nightmare Corporation, an enigmatic company that deals in psychological and neurological research. As Oliver tries to search further, he uncovers the fact that the Nightmare Corporation has been harvesting energy in a matrix-like fashion - using the neurological nerve pulses and whatnot, the Nightmare Corporation has been harvesting energy from the minds of people who have been placed into a deep sleep and made to dream about an alternate reality.

Please note that Oliver is VERY likely to encounter difficulties during this period. You can include events such as dealing with suspicious people, quitting/getting fired from the police force, etc. It doesn't really matter.

Prying further, it seems that people who are in a deep sleep have been placed into - literally - a nightmare. This is because research from the Nightmare Corporation has revealed that fear, despair and similar emotions create the most energy for harvesting, and so they have placed the subjects into a scenario where there is nothing but death, destruction and the hunt to survive. The name of this project: Project Proxima.

Then, one day, Oliver is contacted by an employee from the Nightmare Corporation, a man named Marko Chekov. Chekov tells Oliver what he has been suspecting for a very long time - something is going seriously wrong with Project Proxima.

It all started when a particular scientist by the name of Dr. Manx developed an instrument known as the Transpirer, a device that allows the user to bring anything they imagine come to life. Dr. Manx was very secretive about the Transpirer project, because he knew that leaking it to the public was a terrible idea, and would likely result in worldwide destruction. Unfortunately, the Nightmare Corporation discovered the Transpirer project, but Dr. Manx managed to escape with most of the information about the Transpirer, destroying most of the other information. Nevertheless, the Nightmare Corporation was able to use the remnants of the information to create a prototype Transpirer, and proceeded to mass-produce it.

What happened next was a seemingly freak accident. While working with the Transpirer, one of the scientists happened to attach it to the main feed unit linking the system's mainframe to the machine responsible for harvesting Project Proxima. What happened next was a Group Transpirer on a huge scale - nearly a hundred thousand people around America were dreaming about a world where death and destruction abounded, and it was about to become reality.

By this time, there was nothing that Chekov nor any of the other scientists could do to prevent what was about to come. To give them credit, the Nightmare Corporation did everything they did to contain the incident, but eventually several incidents leaked out to the public. The incidents have not yet been traced back to the Nightmare Corporation, but Chekov believes that it is only a matter of time before it does. And it is also a matter of time before the world of Proxima and its inhabitants become a reality.

Luckily, Chekov has already informed his contacts in Russia, Europe, Japan, and other parts of the world for the disaster about to come. Unfortunately, he believes that they will not act unless there is a real threat to global civilisation. As a result, Chekov believes that something must be done to hold off the Cluster while the remaining world nations attempt to rearm themselves and react to the situation.

The solution put forth by Chekov has its heart in the Transpirer project. What better to fight against an army of imaginary demons than an army of soldiers with imaginary powers at their disposal? Dr. Manx had already begun a experiment in the Hawaiian atolls concerning the eventual users of the Transpirer, and who would lead the charge against the Cluster. And now, Chekov is inviting Oliver to join the project in an attempt to stop the coming Apocalypse.

Despite the unbelievable story, Oliver can still clearly remember that night in the apartment building, and so he quickly joins up, and begins to organise a programme to ensure only the strongest are there to fight against the Cluster. The solution is something adapted from Battle Royale, a Japanese cult hit involving a fight for survival, where only the strongest survive. During the course of this programme, several strong individuals emerged, including the Raider clan, a group made up of the three strongest Transpirers in the entire programme. However, Oliver, Chekov and Manx only manage to carry out a month's worth of training before the Cluster struck.

In a single push, the Cluster managed to break out of the Nightmare Corporation's defenses and barriers, and proceeded to lay waste to many of America's major cities. Due to the slow reaction of the American military and the sheer number of forces the Cluster had at its disposal, the Cluster steamrolled through most of America, and managed to take nearly 85% of the country in a single week. It was only through the timely intervention of several nations and the Transpirers that managed to stop the Cluster incursion, but even then, it was a hard fight just to keep the Cluster at bay. Even the most advanced weapons that the world had at its disposal were only just enough to keep the mainstay troops from claiming more territories.

In the weeks after the Cluster invasion, the rest of the world, especially Russia, kept making amphibious landings on the port cities in America, and while many were killed in pitched battles against the Cluster, the Russians and the Japanese managed to get a foothold in Cluster territory. Meanwhile, Europe kept using bombers and other aircraft to attack the Cluster via the air. Meanwhile, the Transpirers, lead by the three Raiders (you can give them names), lead the main charge against the Cluster.

About six weeks after the Cluster first appeared on the planet, Oliver, Manx and Chekov were contacted by a man named Scott Reed, who represented a guerrilla group known as the Flarerunners, human survivors from the continent of Proxima. Reed told the three everything he knew about the Cluster, especially the special abilities that they used in battle. Using the information from the Flarerunners, the Transpirers and the combined forces of the Russian, European and Japanese armies managed to break through the Cluster forces, and occassionally managing to deal the Cluster crushing defeats.

However, Reed and the Nightmare Corporation scientists know that crushing defeats are just not enough. The Cluster are the creation of a hundred thousand minds, and they have the unlimited resources of the human imagination at their disposal. Even though humans might deal them crushing defeats one after another, the Cluster will never stop coming until the Earth is completely under their control. Even now, the liberation force is beginning to run out of resources, and the strain on the minds of the soldiers is taking its toll.

Alright, now that's the situation of the world right now. The Combined Armies are in an advantageous position in terms of geographical position, information, and brute power. However, they are quickly running out of ammunition and creative flair in a fight against an enemy that is fuelled by an unexplanable urge to destroy with unlimited forces at their disposal. What should be their next step?

Should they move immediately to try and destroy the controlling Transpirers located in the Nightmare Corporation buildings? Should just kill the one hundred thousand people dreaming of the Cluster, ending their misery and the danger of the world being overrun? Also, Scott Reed and the rest of the Flarerunners will also die with the Cluster if this happens - they are also the product of the human imagination. So should the Combined Army attempt to utterly destroy the Cluster through brute force? And what role does the Driver play in the weeks and months to come?

This is, of course, up to whoever wants to end the story. In my mind, this story isn't complete, and there's not much chance of completing it in the near future. It doesn't matter, though. This story is done.

I'm sure Herrick and Jun Yi must be breathing a sigh of relief.

Storyflash: Resolving Issues

2009-02-04T18:35:00.003+08:00

Well, I'd better get this over with, shouldn't I? Ahh, what the heck, these are just ideas, so I'm sorry if they're half-baked! You (Mr. Reader) supposed refine them, lolz. Well, firstly, his Highness Jun Yi has pointed out several flaws in the stories, including the seemingly overpoweredness of characters.

Well, I have to say that it is true. Especially for Transpirers, not imposing any boundaries on the powers of the funny invention thing is a recipe for world destruction. Nevertheless, I guess it is important that the reader realise that Transpirers aren't about world destruction - it's about transferring your knowledge, combining it with creativity, and unleashing it in a physical form.

The focal point of Transpirers is the ability of the human imagination, not the powers that you can use. Remember that being in school, we are some of the smarter people on the planet. The characters in the books may not be smart at all - they don't know what a vector is, how to use it, etc, etc. In other words, many of the supposedly "over-powered abilities" may just not come about, because the characters don't know them.

It all depends on your creativity - after all, you are likely going to be pwned by someone who has a more creative mind than you. If you really want to, then you could say that certain things can't be done, and "balance" the whole Transpirer thing, although that really wasn't what I was trying to achieve here - this isn't a game or anything, so there're no restrictions on which guy is too powerful, etc, etc.

Second observation - If so and so is too powerful, then why can't he do blah blah blah and just end it all. This is also very true, but here is where an author's creative juices come into play. There are several ways to solve something like this: Firstly, it's to come up with parameters that reduce the power of characters, to make them conditional, to make when weakened in a particular way, or a manufactured weakness. This is the "safer" way to do it, because then there's really no way for the character to take over the world easily.

The second method is to come up with a plot device that prevents this from happening - for example, sealing the character in a icy throne so that they couldn't move around and rule the world, or something like that. This is also a "manufactured method", a deliberate attempt to try and "balance" the story. I don't really like deliberate attempts to curb my characters, so this is a no-no method for me.

Finally, there is the "Weave" method - something about the plot itself prevents the character from ruling the world so easily. There could be, for example, a different motivation for the character. The Spiral King in TTGL could have completely destroyed the humans, but did not. Why? Because there was some other event that prevented it, ie Anti-Spiral storyline + morals of the Spiral King, blah blah blah. I am a great fan of this method, but it not only prevents seemingly obvious things from happening, but also adds to the storyline.

Applying this to the story, why can't Transpirers destroy the world? As stated before, they don't know how - I very much doubt a manga artist would know how to destroy the world, and neither would a rabid MMORPG player, etc, etc. Why didn't the Cluster obliterate the humans? There are two reasons for this -> To steal technology from humans to escape to the other world, and because most of their efforts and resources were being channelled in an attempt to invade the other world. There is another reason, but that's revealed in the next chapter.

If there are any other problems, just remember that the stories I've written here are merely ideas. I've never had the intention of writing them, nor am I planning to do so in the future. It's merely a conglomerate of ideas melded together, so obviously there would be a few holes in the plot, incongruity of storyline, etc. Nothing can be perfect, and neither are my story ideas. Far from it, in fact.

In the end, realise that these are just musings. The reader must use their own imagination to come up with their own story, to figure out how things work out, to learn for themselves what the world is like, and maybe to formulate their own story, which is exactly what I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to spoonfeed you something, so you really can't take anything at face value here.

Anyway, I hope that resolved some issues and made my intentions clear. Off to write the third and final part of the story.

Storyflash: Avatar 2

2009-02-01T21:32:00.002+08:00

Yo, I am back!

Well, these few days have been really, really busy, with some major disappointments, strange circumstances and other unutterable occurrences which are...well, unutterable. In any case, it was some time before I had time to myself, and it is now that I continue my story of Shearer and his sudden, spoilered death. Damn you Cherilyn.

Part 2: Emerald Sphere (another cool-sounding name that has no bearing on the story whatsoever)

The action shifts from Hawaiian atolls and Transpirers to a continent called Proxima. This continent is geologically unstable, and the surface of the continent is littered with volcanoes, rivers of lava, ash-covered landscapes, and at absence of any forms of life. There are few plants living on the continent, and only ones that do live in boiling hot geyser pools that occasionally spray the surrounding areas with scalding water.

Humans still live in this continent, kept alive only through bio-rehabilitation centres called Sanctuaries. These centres are terribly maintained, and the people living there look a lot like the people from Zion. However, certain sections of the Sanctuary look like something out of a high-class research centre - these are known as the Hanging Gardens, and is, obviously, the place where Humans grow their food.

Now, the problem with Proxima other than the fact that it is literally burning up is the existence of the Cluster. No one is sure how the Cluster evolved, nor are they sure how the Cluster manages to sustain itself. Nevertheless, the Cluster represents a dangerous foe to the Humans, even more so than the harsh environment on Proxima.

The Cluster is a race of...monsters. The term here is used loosely, because most of the Cluster strains can be easily mistaken for a human, even at a talking distance. Nevertheless, the Cluster is of a completely different nature in the sense that the Cluster's primary objective seems to be seek and destroy, rendering them impossible to negotiate with - except with lethal force.

The Cluster is led by an entity known as the Driver, a (supposed) man with the ability to sense everything and anything that his own minions sense. It's kinda like the Zerg Overmind in this sense, although the major difference between the two is that the Zerg Overmind controls his minions. Every single member of the Cluster is an independent being, capable of making their own decisions, creating plans, etc. However, each member of the Cluster is also unfailingly loyal to the Driver, and they will stop at nothing to achieve his desires. This makes the Cluster an exceedingly dangerous enemy, and they have already caused the destruction of several Sanctuaries throughout the continent.

The Cluster is similar to the Zerg in the sense that different strains of Cluster are bred for different purposes. They all, however, exhibit a humanoid appearance (or at least shape, for many Cluster strains come equipped with a mask, presumably to hide disfigurement). However, the only difference between different strains of Cluster is how they work in combat. The Immortals, for example, are...well, immortal. They function kind of like the Cauldron-Born (go look that up). Other Cluster strains are Heartseekers, Furies, Deceivers, Mutants, Juvies and Splicers. Remember that the Cluster are meant to be overpowered, so don't worry about the power levels. =)

In order to combat this threat, the humans have created a organisation known as the Flarerunners. Flarerunners have abilities superior to normal humans, manifesting themselves in either physical abilities or the weapons that they carry. Not many people can be Flarerunners, due to the high stress and willpower needed to overcome the intense training that they have to go through.

That, unfortunately, was only the background. The story starts with a man named Young Pullman, a young boy who was living in a Sanctuary before it was suddenly and swiftly destroyed by an entire brigade of Cluster soldiers. Young Pullman is one of the few who actually survive the attack, but when he returns to observe the wreckage, he is mortally wounded by a lone Cluster and left to die.

Just before he dies, however, Young is approached by a Flarerunner, a man by the name of Scott Reed. Scott Reed asks if Young wants revenge on the Clusters who destroyed his friends and family, and when Young answers 'yes', Scott Reed absorbs Young's soul into his blade. This allows Young to be kept alive in spirit within Reed's blade (named Avenger), and allows Reed to summon him during battle to fight against the Cluster. (It is important to note that Young cannot be killed while in summoned form.)

However, a problem arises with the transference of souls, and although Young's soul is embedded within Avenger, his spirit is free to move outside the sword as well as inside. Due to this strange occurrence, Reed is tempted to kill Young, but the young boy manages to persuade the Flarerunner to spare his life (through what means is up to the author).

It turns out that Scott Reed as well as three other Flareunners: Jack the Hand, Phantom Brigade and Limbre Thorn, have left the main Flarerunner body and have taken it upon themselves to kill the Driver, the Cluster's leader, in the hopes that this will end the relentless Cluster assault on the rest of human civilisation.

Before going any further though, the author might want to explain the Flarerunner's abilities - Jack the Hand can move and strike things at inhuman speeds, making it look as if he is teleporting, even though he is fully tangible during that period. Phantom Brigade can separate himself into many different bodies, of which only one is real - the others are like Naruto's shadow clones, except for the fact that they cannot be killed. Limbre Thorn has the ability to twist and contort his body into unimaginable shapes, rendering him almost impossible to hit.

The three Flarerunners continue through their journey, and throughout the course of their adventure, they encounter many fights with the Cluster, and Young eventually makes friends with Scott Reed. Authors should also develop the characters of all Flarerunners at this point, showing the readers glimpses of how terrible their training is, etc.

Along the way, they meet all sorts of people, including Rats Sam and Cool Braids, members of the Human Resistance - also known as Humans who do not have a Sanctuary to return to. Together, the motley bunch manage to infiltrate the headquarters of the Driver, and despite the deaths of several of their party (Phantom Brigade definitely kicks the bucket), Scott Reed (depending on the author, he might be the only one who survived) manages to make it to the throne room of the Driver.

However, the Driver reveals to him that the Cluster's motive was never to destroy humans - merely to attain the technology that would allow them to travel between worlds. Through raiding the Sanctuaries and Human Research facilities, the Cluster have finally located a world where they can invade without any troubles. Even now, the Driver is planning for a massive push into the New World through a giant portal in the middle of the Volcanic Desert.

At this point, things are up to the author. No matter what method he uses, there really isn't any alternative - the Driver is going to invade the New World whatever Scott Reed does. Nevertheless, Scott Reed must survive the following series of events, whatever they are. This is because his role in the story is not done - he plays a significant role in the Third Part of the story...

Well, I'll end off here, because I'm tired and I wanna sleep. Hopefully, this is still interesting - it's damn interesting to me - and if you wanna know more about the Cluster strains (of which I see only one person doing), feel free to ask. For those of you who hate reading (ie Herrick), just wait for Cherilyn's

Storyflash: Avatar

2009-01-26T17:14:00.005+08:00

Hmm...recently, I haven't had a lot blog about. Nothing especially interesting, anyway.

But this is something I've done before, I think. Anyway, this is an idea I came up with while walking home from school one day. It underwent a process known as snowballing - meaning more and more bullshit accumulated until it became a proper story idea.

Unfortunately, like all of my story ideas, it is a BIG idea. Like, HUGE. So, this idea probably won't make it to paper, or even to MS Word. But whatever. Thinking of stories is more fun than actually writing them.

Onto the crux of the story, which I will present in three parts. Please ignore the names. They just sound cool. You are, of course, welcome to try and fit it into the story somehow.

1. Sapphire Mind.

This part starts off with Lt. Surgens. Or rather, Ian Shearer - Lt. Surgens is, after all, nothing but the name he uses for most of this MMORPGs. Shearer is a particularly avid gamer, and has been playing MMORPGs since he was 10. Since then, his characters have always been within the top 50 ranked players in any major MMORPG. His favourite class is a Warlock/Sniper (depending on the genre) and he loves using Wind Magic/AP rounds.

One day, Lt. Surgens or Shearer (let's call him Shearer for now), is met by a couple of blacksuited men from the FBI (think MIB), and is taken to a secret facility (isn't it always) out in one of the smaller atolls in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. When he reaches there, Shearer is introduced to the rest of his "team".

They are:

1. A well-known manga artist
2. A martial arts expert
3. An engineer working for Boeing
4. A level designer from Blizzard

The actual identities of these men [or women], are of course, left up to the guys who actually write the story.

Together, they make a team of five, and are shown around the small atoll and notified of the basic geography of the surrounding islands. After being introduced the land they will be staying in, the five men are taken to the Headquarters - a giant Aircraft Carrier situated about twenty miles from the islands themselves. There, they are introduced to Captain Oliver Runt, and informed about the entire situation.

Apparently, three days ago, the US Military's scientific research base on the nearby islands was raided and several pieces of sensitive equipment stolen. The raiders were quickly chased by the military, but all efforts to recapture them and the stolen equipment have failed. And of course, the Captain can't call down airstrikes upon the atolls because it would be stupid to risk destroy the instruments. So, the military has called upon five unlikely heroes to save the day.

Of course, it begs the question of why the military would entrust such an important job to a bunch of misfits who couldn't fire a gun nor make head or tail of a map. Naturally, Captain Oliver has predicted the question would arise, and so the five are directed to a "Testing Room" where they are met by Dr. Manx, a strange, quirky (aren't they always) scientist who is involved with the research that was being conducted.

Apparently, the scientists were working on an instrument known as the Imagination Transpirer. The name is pretty much self-explanatory. Supposedly, whatever the user thinks with be realised. There are, of course, restrictions, including the fact that whatever the user thinks must be possible in real life, although the degree to which it is possible is...limitless.

For example, in real life, with the correct amount of force, you are capable of melting a rock with nothing but friction alone. The Transpirer allows you to do that, but using only the force of your mind. Of course, the Transpirer also allows you to protect yourself from any side effects of your spells/abilities/mind, so the molten rock won't actually harm you. It will, however, harm anyone else, even if they have Transpirers.

The reason why the five of them were chosen was because of their creative minds. Those soldiers who were equipped with the Transpirer at first were easily beaten by their opponents, because most of the Soldiers didn't have the imagination to use the Transpirer effectively, using it only to increase their sight range, accuracy, etc. The raiders were capable of destroying them hands down. A terrible waste of a Transpirer.

Thus, the five of you were assembled to provide the right amount creativity required for this mission. However, just creativity is not enough to prepare you for a chase after several hardened criminals. Even Commandos need years of training before their first missions. You guys are gonna have only 5 days before you are sent out into the field.

Immediately after that, the five of you are taken off to hone your skills at the use of the Transpirer. Since each of you have very different areas of expertise, you are taken to train separately for a few days before meeting back again.

Shearer quickly gets used to the Transpirer, and realises that his forte is striking the air so hard that it causes a gust of wind to slash through even the hardest objects. This is obviously a result of playing too many MMORPGs as Warlock with Wind Affinity. However, this time, too many games is a good thing, because Shearer adapts to the Transpirer quickly and eventually invents many new abilities.

[WRITER NOTE: Now, the Transpirer is obviously an instrument of...interesting qualities. It is up to you - YES YOU - to come up with a unique way of portraying this instrument. It could have side-effects such as memory loss, or using it could feel like you're having constipation. Or it could feel like you're having an **gasm. Up to you, heheh. Nothing too disgusting though.]

Anyway, back together as a team, the rest of the group shows off their unique abilities to the others, and the Team Coordinator - a subordinate of the quirky Dr. Manx teaches them on how to use their abilities as a group, as well as introduces them to the idea of the a Group Transpiration.

The Group Transpiration is an especially difficult process, because all of you must think of the same thing in order it to happen. Of course, smaller scale Group Transpirations can occur, but the larger the group, the power of the Transpiration increases exponentially. There are many other factors, of course, but that's the general trend.

So, after practicing for a bit - and failing miserably - the group is ready to take on the raiders. The group is airlifted onto the island, where they are given some rations and several weapons (daggers, handguns, flashbangs, etc.) and left to fend for themselves.

This is where the free-for-all part comes in. Each of the members of the team have vastly different abilities, and even Shearer's abilities are not pre-set. Also I haven't really got a feel for the group dynamics, which is pretty unusual considering that I usually do for most of my story ideas. All I can say is that off the top of my head, there is no romance (SHOCKING.), the martial arts expert is a tsundere (fierce, kick-the-other-guy-in-the-balls-woman), the manga artist is a weirdo, and the Blizzard employee is a bastard. Shearer's closest friend is the Boeing Engineer, and his worst enemy is the Blizzard employee.

In any case, the story continues with Shearer and his fighting and chasing down the enemy raiders. The entire group begins to level up, until a point when a surprise attack by the Raiders (who also have access to Transpirers) manages to land a Group Transpiration, obliterating the surrounding landscape. The original group (let's call them the Hunters to prevent confusion) is separated from each other and quickly move on to the other islands on the atoll.

The story itself is pretty vague at this moment. This is, of course, where the writers can come in and inject their own story material. Who are the Raiders? What are they like? What abilities do they have? When the Hunters are separated, can they keep in touch (ie, presence of radios, etc.), and do they reunite? When writing about the Hunters, will you focus on all of them at once? Or maybe just Shearer and his efforts to fight against the remaining Raiders? What kind of style do you want to use? A Glen Cook, dark, mercenary band tone? Or maybe a Melty Blood kind of tone? It completely depends on you.

In any case, most of this part of the story involves fighting the Raiders on the island. During this time, the Hunters (or at least Shearer) begins to suspect that something is very wrong with the entire operation, especially after ten days have passed. The fact that the Raiders still haven't left the island via air or sea is not very believable, and things are getting a little rough since most of their food supply has been used up.

It all finally comes down to one final confrontation with the Raiders after the Blizzard employee manages to get off a signal flare before he is obliterated by one of the Raiders. The remaining Hunters rush towards the area, firing their long range attacks before falling upon the Raiders. However, the Hunters are in no state to fight the Raiders, and everyone except Shearer and the manga artist is killed by the Group Transpiration unleashed by the Raiders.

Shearer and the manga artist (let's give him/her a name...Katsura will serve my purposes) are only alive because of their jobs - both of which involve a lot of coming back from the dead/fighting in seemingly impossible physical conditions. So, both Shearer and the manga artist continue to fight in a five against two battle, and against all odds, manage to take down at least two of the Raiders.

However, sheer pluckiness was never a good bet when faced with uneven odds (not even in manga), and the manga artist eventually falls to combined fire. The Raiders unleash a final Group Transpiration, and Shearer is killed.

Okay, so that was the end of Part 1. To be honest, I wanted to write all three parts into one blog post, but seeing as one part has already taken up a huge amount of space, I think I'll save the other two parts for another time. And just in case you were wondering, yes, you can change the ending of Part 1 - which I admit leaves the reader going a bit "WTF Just happened?" But you know...make it believable, that's all I ask. Then again, when the story is about hikkikomoris and manga artists and Blizzard employees, I can't really ask for a believable story, can I?

Alright, finally, just to assure you guys who actually still read the blog - the next few parts are still going to be related to this one, to make for one big-ass story. Damn it, I have an overactive imagination.

Demons and the Forces of Darkness

2009-01-22T22:01:00.002+08:00

Welcome to the Frankenstein Talk Show! Today, we're going to discuss a very controversial topic: Demons and the Forces of Darkness!

Firstly, as all good talk shows do, we must define our terms, correct? Luckily for us, this isn't a topic in which we will spend all our time playing around with meanings and the meanings behind the meanings!

Force of Darkness: Anything that serves the 3V1L ones.

Demon: Anything that isn't a force of darkness but serves the 3V1L ones.

So, armed with our definitions, let's march onwards to victory, crushing, burning, pillaging and letting loose Chery-...Mike Jacks-...forces of darkness on the world.

So, let's discuss. What makes the 3V1L ones evil? This is actually quite an interesting question. Some might remember a post long ago about the nature of evil in this day and age, and I have to say that I must once again state that Evil is no longer about controlling, destroying, and blasting the world to bits. After all, just reading/watching this talk show already spews about a billion tonnes of CO2 into the air.

But don't worry, as a geography student, I can tell you we won't die yet. Not for another ten years, at least!

Anyway, continuing our line of thought, Evil is no longer about world domination, but has thrown all its skill points into Manipulation, Persuasion, Illusion and Cripple. Yup, we are all being subjugated by these dastardly skills, and as everyone knows, ORB EFFECTS STACK. Not only that, but you can't dispel orb effects either. That's terrible.

Anyway, something else that makes Evil...well, Evil, is the fact that they cast these spells on their own units as well! That's why there are a multitude of media out there promoting the image of the good Demon, or the helpful, miserable, lonely force of darkness.

And unlike the normal media that Hollywood churns out (incidentally, Hollywood is a nest of 3V1L. Some suspect that Hollywood is a double agent, or even a triple agent. But we can't be certain), good Demons and Forces of Darkness do exist. Of course, this also means that they look like one hell of a ************.

Good demons are probably more common than you think. In fact, demons probably suffer from the same problems that humans do, ie. Exams, Romance, Meaning in Life (there's gotta be something more than scary the pants off that old lady down the street). It's even worse when a demon falls in love with a human, because that often results in sappy romance novels about love that is never meant to be (these are oft mistaken for forces of darkness, but I assure that is a misconception).

Forces of Darkness are a different matter though. These servants are generally mindless beings who have been bent to the wiles of their masters. This bending of will is generally due to the fact that the guy has a weak mind and falls prey to insults, jokes and various other insinuations, causing them to go insane and start doing things that forces of darkness usually do. Like arcade machines.

In the end, Forces of Darkness really can't be blamed for anything. They are like tools that do their master's bidding and...and...

Oh screw this, I don't know what I'm talking about. Never mind.

Getting back to the subject at hand, perhaps it is time to start rethinking our view of demons and other servants of the 3V1L ones. After all, we have to remember that demons are in fact very gentle creatures despite their appearance. You have to get to know them, and then learn about them before judging them. The "do unto others what you wish them to do unto you" works for demons as well, kaes?

As a parting shot to one of the longest and unintelligible talk shows in a long time, let me just say that Demons and Forces of Darkness appear differently to different people. The spell of Delusion and Illusion does that to you. You gotta be careful these days.

Ripped Off

2009-01-18T16:59:00.002+08:00

Yeah, the title says it all.

Okay, so it isn't exactly accurate. I didn't actually get ripped off, but I nearly did. Here's what happened.

Walks up to shop aunty, ask to buy two cans of Soya Bean Milk.

Let A = Aunty, M = Me. (Too much math for me)

A: "Okay, that'll be $1"
M: "...what?"
A: "$1"
M: "...are you sure?"
A: "Yeah? Anything wrong?"
M: "Isn't this stuff supposed to be more expensive? Like $1 per can?"
A: "No, it's $1 for two cans. It says so on the card."
M: "No, it doesn't, look."
M takes up the placard and shows it to A.
A: "Ah there, see? Canned drinks @ 50 cents"
M: "No, look closely. The 50 cents is the previous line."
A: "Huh. Really."
M: "Yeah, look. Canned drinks & Milo @ 90 cents"
A: "Oh dear, I see."
M: "Yeah, so I owe you $1.80, not $1."
A: "Ahh, so sorry."
M: "Yeah, please don't do that again. This stuff ain't cheap, you know."

Man, it was a good thing I was alert, or else I could've been 80 cents richer.

This day was a good day.

2009-01-16T20:28:00.002+08:00

Today was a bad day.

Firstly, I was sniffling all the way to school, especially having been suffering from a flu and fever and all sorts of ailments for the past few days. I must admit I became a druggy for a few days - popping 18 pills a day is bad, no matter what your disease.

Then we got locked outside of class for a few moments, because SOME DUDE TOOK OUR KEY. Oh well, not like he's gonna be reading this blog (if he does, he'll probably beat the shit outta me, so that's okay). Went back into math class and immediately got insulted by the first person I met a.k.a. the Lord of Darkness a.k.a. Cheryl.

Got back to doing math, and realised that I got fooled on the first question. I AM SUCH A FAILURE, I said to myself. Aloud. And the Lord of Darkness said, "Yes, you are." And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Second question = 3 careless mistakes. Oh god. At least I managed to do the rest of the questions properly.

Physics was next, when I learnt that I barely passed the practice practical. I was quite sad. AT LEAST I BEAT KUANG. =)))))

LangArts. LangArts is never good. 'Nuff said.

Recess ----> I had fun then! Walked around with Seng Wei and role-played a homeless drug dealer who likes to sell Panadol to IB Druggies and has a handheld boombox. Tried to introduce Seng Wei to my friends BUT FAILED. T_T

More maths. Yeah, I pwned this time.

Then EE meeting. Learnt that my EE was crap. I was very sad. ;_; Have to rewrite sooner or later.

After a series of complicated and strange events, I found myself running down the road towards school. This was mostly because I was bored, and also because I was two seconds from missing my bus. While running, I said "Hi" to one of the old ladies running for the bus, and told the bus captain to wait for the old lady. =D

Meanwhile, had fun talking with friends on the bus, and psychoanalysed Wull's survey. Hurrhurr, YOUR TOK IS SCREWED. Too bad Levin left so fast. T_T

Got back home, finished Written Commentary, Physics Prac and writing blog post. After that, I played a bit of minesweeper and looked for Touhou Pics, and cursed at the lack of a good Clannad Subber. Listened for Sore ga ai Deshou another 2 times, before going to sleep.

It was a good day!

My Brother...

2009-01-12T17:48:00.002+08:00

...Is A Slacker.

...Is A Manga Freak.

...Is An Advanced Diver.

...Likes driving four-wheel drives in the desert.

...Is Crazy about Konata.

...Loves Who's Line Is It Anyway.

...Sleeps at 10.30 everyday.

...Listens to Symphonic Metal.

...Watches anime whenever he can.

...Likes to drink B33R.

...Is a holy man.

...PWNS THE EPIC SHIT OUT OF ME IN O-LEVELS.

Jonny = L1 = 6

Matty = L1R5 = 7

Hmm...If I try hard enough, I might get a SINGLE-DIGIT SCORE.

Gratz to my brother. AND TO MY TUITION. HURRHURR.

This is the Life.

2009-01-10T10:14:00.002+08:00

Windows closed, curtains drawn, light on, fan on, door closed

Bath finished, in pyjamas, hair frizzled, feeling refreshed.

Comp's on, chatting with 7 different people, Sore ga ai Deshou's playing, Google Earth running, EE's wasting, watching anime.

Topographical map in one hand, drawing maps with the other, a bottle of coke by the side and a bag of chips on the other.

If this isn't the life, I don't know what is.

Runaway Train

2009-01-09T10:25:00.001+08:00

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same.

I really like this song. It describes, down to the last detail, my loss of sanity.

Stupid EE.

Too Much Time On My Hands

2009-01-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

Well, now that I have returned to normal school life and some semblance of a brain order, it is time to talk about random stuff that has no meaning whatsoever. That is, after all, what a blog is for: to talk crap. Or to get arrested for making racist comments.

Anyway, it is time for me to figure out one of the most puzzling and perplexing questions in my sorry little life. The fact that I have WAY WAY WAY WAY too much time on my hands.

Actually, this particular habit has been bothering me for some time. Read: Since Sec 3, where it really reared its ugly little head. Somehow, despite the loads and loads of homework and we had during our Sec 3 and Sec 4 years, it somehow seemed that I had more than enough time to do it. In fact, I had so much time to do it, I could still sleep at 10.30 every night. PM, before anyone tries to find a loophole.

What the hell. That isn't possible, okay.

Seriously, take a look at this chart.

5.30 Wake up + Breakfast + Bath
6.00 Go to School
7.00 Reach School + Run Around like a Ninja Swordsman
7.30 Assembly
8.00 Classes Start
~11.00 Recess + Run Around like a Mage with Berzerk
2.40 Classes End + Go Home + Sleep
4.00 Reach home + bath + lunch
4.30 Reach com + watch anime + browse blogs + Run Around like a Assassin with +2 Poisoned Daggers
7.00 Dinner + Bath + PAJAMAS TIME
8.00 Start Work + Talk cock + Sing song + Play Hearts
9.00 Yawn
10.30 Sleep

Am I the only one who thinks this doesn't make sense? I mean seriously, who yawns at 9.00? And who the hell completes all their homework and essays and stuff within 2 and a half hours? It doesn't make sense. Hmm...suspicious.

In any case, this habit of suddenly managing to do all my homework quickly has earned me a reputation for having 36 hours in a day, something that I certainly do not have, or, if I do, I spend it sleeping.

Things get a little more suspicious when you realise that IB ends at 4.40.

5.30 Wake up + Breakfast + Bath
6.00 Go to School
7.00 Reach School + Run Around like a Ninja Swordsman
7.30 Assembly
8.00 Classes Start
~11.00 Recess + Run Around like a Mage with Berzerk
4.40 Classes End + Go Home + Sleep
6.00 Reach home + bath + Dinner
6.30 Dinner + Bath + PAJAMAS TIME
7.00 Reach com + watch anime + browse blogs + Run Around like a Assassin with +2 Poisoned Daggers
9.30 Start Work + Talk cock + Sing song + Play Hearts
9.45 Yawn
10.30 Sleep

Okay, so something got even wronger. Wtf nice spend only 1 hour on work. Heck, this is screwed up. Well, no matter, it all works out in the end.

The problem is that it isn't supposed to work out. I'm supposed to be a heck of a lot more busy than I am right now. Geez, I think that it's still more slack than my Sec 3 and Sec 4 years, something that is dangerously wrong. I mean, I got scolded today because I haven't been to LKC Library for work purposes.

AND I ALSO GOT SCOLDED BECAUSE I DON'T DESERVE A 7 FOR CHINESE, BUT A 5. DAMN YOU HERRICK. DAMN YOU PING.

Okay, gotta go. I have to yawn now.

Lack of Tissues

2009-01-06T17:44:00.002+08:00

As doubtless Herrick will testify, my mom scolded me the other day because I stole the tissue box from her bathroom. And I have to say that it was completely not my fault. I just ran out of tissues in my room.

But I guess the think that really irked her was the fact that I had used about 100 tissues within the span of a single week.

And there can only be one culprit. It is a particular game known as CLANNAD.

Well, the name is probably alien to a lot of people, but I can tell you that it is a very very very very very very very sad game, and that everyone should play it because it will make you CRY.

Okay, so maybe that's just me. So sue me.

But heck, CLANNAD is a like a drug. You just can't stop playing the game even though you know you'll be up until 12 midnight crying your heart out. Geez, I've never cried so much in my entire life. It has completely destroyed the little chemistry, mathematics, geography and physics knowledge kept safely in the archives of my head during the holidays.

Originally, my brain looked like this:

Chem, Chem, Phys, Math, Chem, Geog, Chem, Screwing around, Chem, Chem, STOP THAT PING, Chem, JARREL YOU BASTARD, Screwing around, Screwing around, HI NUBBY

Now, it kind of looks like

Screwing around, Play game, STOP THAT PING, JARREL YOU BASTARD, Screwing around, NOOOOOOOOO KOTOMI, HERRICK GIMME WALKTHROUGH, Chem, Screwing around, USHIO ;_;

Yeah, so my brain got thrown about quite a bit.

Can't wait to play After Story again!

Grannys and Nukes

2009-01-03T11:13:00.002+08:00

Just this morning, while going shopping for trash bags with my great-grandma, I realised something very, very important.

Great-grandmas are like nukes!

Why? Well, there are quite a number of ways in which they are similar to each other. In fact, off the top of my head, I can think of several. Yup.

1. If you have one of them, you will receive international attention from anyone and everyone. International attention increases exponentially if you have increasing numbers of both.

2. Both of them require utmost attention - they are, after all, very very important to you. If you don't take care of them, then people will come running to you to ask you cease ownership of said item/person and give it to them, whether or not they are terrorists, U.N. Peacekeepers, or Old Folks Home representatives.

3. If you leave them lying around here and there, diplomats, U.N. Peacekeepers, grandparents and parents will be all over you.

4. And of course, if you drop either of them, you're quite screwed.

Okay, I'm bored now. Gotta go continue writing.

Hang on, I think there's a U.N. Peacekeeper outside my window.

Crabs, Caves, Crazy Boardwalks

2008-12-20T13:32:00.002+08:00

Ohkay. After a bit of problems involving a bout of Christmas shopping that went completely out of control, I have finally remembered my duties as a chronicler of my sufferings, and have started writing this particularly long blog post. So...yeah...

Oh, but first, let me just say that I'm not going to be writing about diving, and also let me say that I might sometimes leave out a word or two or something shit like that. MSWord has pampered me. And also, I apologise for the lack of photos, because my failness at anything remotely to do with electronics and computers has forced me to make do with words.

So...the flight to the land of crabs, crabs, and Christmas. Sounds fun. But unfortunately, I took Malaysian Airlines to get there.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about Malaysian Airlines. Put me on a flight with them and SIA and I couldn't tell the difference. There's only one difference.

No Playing Cards.

WTF MAN. NO PLAYING CARDS? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. HOW CAN I PLAY MAHJONG WITHOUT PLAYING CARDS DAMMIT.

Lucky us, because we managed to bring two packs of cards with us, so we didn't get hit by the fallout so badly. I pity the poor souls without playing cards...I mean, what else can you do? Shop?

Perhaps I need to say here that our family and cards are like rock stars and drugs. We can't survive without cards, no sirree. Heck, both my mum and dad know how to play Tai-tee (Is that how you spell it? No idea.), and my dad even knows how to cheat. Great. Of course, we don't just play Tai-ti (Try different spelling this time), we play games like Rummy-Cue and Clock...and...and...okay, I can't remember anything at the moment, but I'm sure it'll come to me. And say nothing about the fact that Clock has no multi-player.

Anyway, we pretty much played cards everywhere. Waiting for dinner? Play cards. After diving? Play cards. "Hey guys, let's go home and rest." "Yeah, let's play cards." Going for bird-watching? Play cards. Going for blowhole watching? Play cards. Driving? Come on, you know the answer people!

Obviously, you don't play cards when driving, moron. Even rock stars don't jab themselves when driving. That's stupid. Using your handphone and alcohol is cool and all, but playing cards? Please, we're not that stupid.

Ah, but you see, what you do when you're driving around Christmas Island? You avoid crabs. Why? Because there are crabs everywhere, dammit. I think Darwin's Theory of Evolution is right when it says that nature is beautiful. I mean, each of those red crabs is just right size to be squashed by a pair of newly cleaned tyres. I think if you measure the size of the crab to the size of the splat it makes when you run over it, you'll get the golden ratio.

...Okay, time to take that all back before animal rights groups get me. To be honest, it really is hard dodging crabs. There were times when we had to get out of the car and shoo (shoe) the crabs away before we could drive around again. Even in the freaking jungle. What the hell are they doing in the jungle, goddammit. Couldn't they be a bit more sensible and go work in a quarry or something? At least that way they wouldn't dirty somebody's tires when they get squashed.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, chasing away the crabs. The red crabs are easily taken care of, heheh. I mean, an encounter with a Red Crab goes like this.

Red Crab Spotted!
Poke, Poke, Poke.
Red Crab does nothing!
Low B, Low C.
Red Crab does nothing!
Jump B. Jump C. Jump B. Jump C. AIR THROW.
Red Crab does nothing!
...Arc Drive Finish?
Red Crab has died!
Victory Cry! Hurrhurrhurr.

Geez, improve the difficulty levels on these guys will you? Safety in numbers doesn't work when no one is doing anything.

Ahh, but then again, at night, when you start walking around, you start seeing the elusive robber crabs (I only saw 30 of them in one night. Now that's rare)! These crabs get their names from their notorious habit of poaching the dead remains of red crabs before angry drivers can get their revenge. Another reason is because Robber Crabs also like to steal people's cars when they aren't vigilant enough. Scary stuff.

Fighting Robber Crabs is a lot more dangerous than fighting Red Crabs. A normal fight goes like this:

Robber Crab spotted!
Poke, Poke, Poke.
Robber Crab pokes back, but it's out of range!
Low B. Low C. Jump BC Jump BC POKE POKE POKE.
IT'S INVALID. GG.
Robber Crab punishes. Then runs away.
NO GOLD. NO EXP.

Yeah, so it sucks to fight Robber Crabs. At least it's a lot easier avoid them on the roads, unless you're a 36.5m long Road Train. In which case, gg.

Anyway, over the course of the journey, there were several places that were fun to visit. Most of these involved caverns. Unfortunately, I don't like caverns very much, and those I was not enthusiastic about running around inside them or even talking about it. But then again, blogs are places where you must chronicle someone's suffering, usually your own. So. Here goes.

One of these caverns was called the Grotto. It was a really majestic place. Here are the first things that we said about the Grotto, in that order.

"That's it?"
"It looked a lot better in the guidebook."
"Hey, there's a slipper in there! That's so cool!"
"YES OMG NO NEED TO GO INSIDE ANYMORE."
"The photographer must've been freaking good."

Guess which one is me! If you guess correctly, you'll get the other side of the slipper!

The Grotto, of course, wasn't the only cave we visited. There was supposed to be a really majestic cave called the Thundercliff, which sounds like something taken out of WoW and supposed to be just as good. So, we decided to go there and - !

That part's under diving, so no you.

Anyway, we also went to Daniel Roux cave. I liked this cave a lot. That's because there was a lot of greenery, a few interesting bugs here and there, a ladder that was so flimsy they specifically said that only one person on the ladder a time or it could break and a cannon with a 100% hit rate (fired one shot and sunk one submarine. Skillz that killz).

But the best thing, I think, about the cave was the big sign on the front that said:

NO ENTRY EXCEPT TO AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL. TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT.

Needless to say, I was going, "YEAH BABY FIGHT THE POWAH!" while everyone else was grumbling. I think the barbed wire made me happier.

Anyway, that's it for caving. I had a lot of fun! =D After that, we decided to go to the Blowholes. Now those were fun. They were like geysers, except without the noxious fumes, the ultra-slow attack speed (you have to wait for 50 years before some geysers attack again), and the hot water. It was really fun getting sprayed by water. Oh, but Christmas Island blowholes are special. You get double the fun for the price of one! Instead of getting sprayed by just water, you get sprayed with the remains of stupid red crabs that fell into the holes and got blow apart. No joke there.

Oh yeah, guess what we did the moment we got there?

You got it! We played cards.

Okay, so I liked the blowholes. What else did we do, arh? Oh yeah, we also went to several other cool beaches, such as Winifried Beach, Dolly Beach, Greta Beach, a beach a totally bombastic name that I can't remember anymore...oh yeah, and we went to Lily and Ethel.

Lily and Ethel is not the name of a shopping centre. It was, in fact, a really, really nice beach. Apart from the fact that I was heavily injured by a tsunami-like wave. Ahh, the pain, the pain! Boohoo, wahwah. But that was all worth it because of the SHAMAN WATER STONE.

For those of you not in the know, a SHAMAN WATER STONE is a stone of such magical power that you can't help but type its name in caps. Also, because I had access to such a powerful magical artefact, I had no choice but to play the role, and so I engaged in several shamanistic rituals involving a lot of waving, dancing, stopping other tsunami-like waves from attacking the bags, and singing Hi-Hi-Puffy-Ami-Yumi at the top of my voice.

Yeah, so it was really fun. Anyway, it's time for me to sleep now, so I'm sorry but you'll have do to with this. Yup Yup. By the way, this update beats yours, Dneo, you slacker shit.

Sorry for the Lag

2008-12-18T22:03:00.002+08:00

Came back from Christmas Island yesterday.

This means I'm two days behind time, and without any luggage whatsoever.

Bad times, man. Bad times.

Not to mention the fact that my Christmas shopping has gone completely out of control, far surpassing my wildest dreams (or nightmares).

Anyway, I really don't have time right now...So just bear with me for a moment! I'll start posting about Christmas Island trip soon enough! =D

THE World or YOUR World

2008-12-02T11:28:00.004+08:00

Okay, so I'm posting a little too often for my own good. Ahh, what the hell, I'll progress out of this stage sooner or later...heck, the moment I get lazy I'll probably return to the 1 post in a week format. Whatever. I promise this post will be short.

Forgive me, but for those of you who aren't in the know, I am one heck of a fantasy fanatic and a romantic idealist. Incidentally, those two go very well hand in hand because what's fantasy without romance, and what's romance without a little idealism (essentially fantasy without the swords).

Getting to the crux of the matter, a commonly recurring scene in RPGs and other fantasy-related (actually, it sometimes happens in sci-fi) novels, movies or any other media you care to name would be when the main character is forced to choose between saving the world or saving his/her loved one.

Generally when playing RPGs, you really don't have a choice - the game always forces you to save your loved one, even if she has a personality that would make Margaret Thatcher look like an obedient schoolgirl. But she usually doesn't, so good for you. In the end, after saving the girl, you proceed to utterly beat the crap out of the main villain and save the world.

Now, the thing is, would this actually happen in real life? Would you really save the person you love, or save the world and everybody in it? Well, to be honest, this is a really tough choice. Let's take a look at the list, shall we? I just love lists.

Save your girlfriend/boyfriend:
1. Live happily ever after.
2. That's about it, really.
3. Oh wait, there's a chance that the world might be destroyed. Who cares about that?

Save the World:
1. Everyone else lives happily ever after.
2. Actually, that's about it too.

Well, that wasn't much of a list, but still...essentially it boils down to whether or not you're selfish or not. Now, be honest with yourselves...how many of you would destroy the world so that you can live happily ever after? Future villains have this choice easy - destroying world means that you can live happily ever after. It's no wonder that Evil is such a good choice these days.

For the rest of us, though, this is a difficult choice. Humans weren't made to be altruistic people - anyone who thinks so is just deluding themselves. In fact, the complete opposite is true - humans are completely and utterly selfish bastards, seeking to shift the blame onto other people, being greedy, arrogant...and let's not forget lust shall we. After all, that's why you're saving the girl in the first place.

Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh. Humans were built for survival. Sure, we don't have hard scales, sandpaper-like armour, special abilities or anything like that. Nevertheless, we have the ability to reason and think through our actions. We are smart, using all the resources at our disposal to eliminate the enemy - and perhaps our strongest advantage is that we're ruthless. We'll stop at nothing to achieve our goals. This is another thing that's pretty important - heroes are as ruthless as villains...it's just that a hero's goals are supposedly for the good of all mankind.

In the end, because we're so selfish, we want to save our loved ones. No matter what anyone says, your loyalty to your loved ones far surpasses anything that the world can offer. So, interestingly enough, RPGs actually got it right. At least, they got it right for me, heheh. There really are some people who would save the world, rather than live a life of happiness all by yourself. Okay, sure, there's still a lot of stuff to be settled, but I promised that this post would be short. Too late.

Just a parting shot, though. There are, in fact, other situations in which someone would save the world instead of your loved one. No, I'm not talking about the times when he/she is one ugly son-of-a-walrus, nor about the times when saving her probably means you're going to get beaten to a pulp.

Rather, there are times when saving the world means that you're going to get killed. Okay, you say to yourself, I'm fine with that. Me versus the world, the world obviously wins. Because I'm an emo teenage hero, so I don't mind dying. But if your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't a son-of-a-walrus, then he or she will be forced to live the rest of eternity without you. Which would really suck if you were in her shoes. So...would you save the world and die and leave your loved one to weep/wait for you for all eternity?

Being selfish people, I think the answer would be yes.

The Many Faces of Evil

2008-11-30T17:27:00.003+08:00

Just by looking at the topic name, you can get what this post is going to be about. Yep, that's right, everyone's favourite topic on EVIL.

There are many different types of evil. There is the Sauron-rules-the-world evil, the I'm-gonna-subvert-you-to-the-dark-side evil and the holy-shit-i-forgot-to-bring-dips evil. In any case, I'm sure you'll agree with me that most things are truly and irrevocably evil. Especially the last one.

Something I've noticed is that the face of evil has changed subtly over the last few years. It is quite interesting to note how it has done so - and even more interesting to note that good has also changed in the same way, except in the opposite direction!

To make things a bit more clear, let's look at the Evolution of Evil!

1. Early Evil

Well, early evil is a bit hard to recognise. Much of evil was pretty much indisguishable from good except for the fact that it was...err...evil.

Evil was mainly represented by random monsters and demons and unholy things. Good was mainly represented by random monsters and angels and holy things. The problem was that angels looked pretty much like demons (come on, six hands, six feet and 3 sets of wings? that's a demon right there folks!), and you couldn't really tell evil monsters and good monsters apart: Leviathan vs. Behemoth = Whale vs. Hippopotamus.

Hmm...anyway, symbols for evil were no better. Early evil seemed to be a bit taken aback by the discovery of mathematics, or maybe some random necromancer failed his math test and decided to exact revenge on the world. In any case, evil liked to have nice shapes and numbers in its arsenal of symbols.

2. The Age of the Ugly, Fantastically Evil Dark Lords

The Age of Fantasy! The golden age for blond archers, rugged kings, beautiful princesses, noble thieves, corrupt advisors and fantastically evil dark lords. An incredibly bad time to be a villager or a peasant.

In this time and age, evil and good are completely different. You could tell very easily who was evil and who wasn't. Especially because evil suddenly change their favourite to black. Pretty much everyone wearing black was either evil or some so utterly and completely badass good guy that he deserved to be evil.

Evil was also pretty damn ugly in this age. Orcs, trolls, bats - you name it, evil had it...except that whatever it is you care to name, evil probably needed a plastic surgeon to make sure they didn't die just by looking at each other's ugly mugs. Even the final boss/dark lord who is unbelievably badass is ugly. Sauron - heh, he doesn't even have a freaking face.

3. The Age of the Handsome, Fantastically Evil Dark Lords

Well, well, well. We know move into the age of evil that looks good. The "Heck, are you guys we're even on the right side? Evil looks so much more ass-kicking" Age. Anyway, this is the Age of RPGs! The Golden Age of blond archers, rugged kings, beautiful princesses, noble thieves, corrupt advisors and fantastically evil handsome dark lords. It was still an incredibly bad time to be a villager. But it was an incredibly good time to be a Japanese dungeon level designer. Still is, actually.

Anyway, evil finally got smarter from the last age, and they've hired some plastic surgeons to come do a make up on their minions. Skeletons never looked so sexy! Vampires never looked to utterly badass. Assassins were never so cool. And Zombies...well, necrophilia got invented somewhere along the line, right? In any case, Dark Lords got a lot more good looking. Just ask Arthas - one of the more good-looking evil dark lords around.

Oh, but remember that before you get attached to a Dark Lord, you must remember never to beat him up too much. Especially since that once the Dark Lord transforms into his Final Boss Form, he goes all the way back to the Stone Age in terms of fashion. Either that, or he becomes this angelic thing that looks...well, good.

4. Evil is Beautiful! It's also everywhere.

WARNING. Once your infestation of evil gets to this point, you are quite screwed. Indeed, it is difficult for the good guys to even win a battle in this day and age. That is, if you actually find the good guys. Most of the time, the people you start backing tend to be evil that looks like good. Or at least some chaotic neutral guy.

Evil finally realises that there's something in this world called style. Damn, these guys are really good when they want to be. Vampires generally become young, teenage women who can't decide if they're evil or not. Zombies are generally out of existence, Orcs died out half a century ago and Skeletons went out of fashion when necromancers realised that familiars were cheaper, more powerful, and were generally pretty good-looking.

Good really takes a beating in this age before they actually get up to try and stop the bad guys. Blond archers are still in high demand, but real heroes generally have some deformity or other, such as having leprosy, having half their face blown off, or at least having their hand severed at the wrist. Good should expect to get betrayed at least five times during their journey towards salvation, and that's being optimistic. Good should also have a set of good legs, because they have to do a lot of running in this age. Fret not, though, because Good also generally gets a lot more badass - good vampires, good shadow angels, good skeletons and good-looking dark lords generally join the good guys in this age.

Evil really pwns in this age. Their spies are badass enough to make James Bond look like Ron Weasley, they have enough hidden cameras to make the NSA file a lawsuit for having more cameras than they do, their armies are large enough to make Mr. Hellbent feel jealous. Evil is also a lot more elegant. Rather than the demons, sharks, and dragons, evil is represented by more elegant animals. Like ravens or butterflies. Somehow this makes evil look a whole lot more evil.

In the last few ages, evil was just annoying. But in this age, evil is evil. As in, you wouldn't want to join them even at the end of the world kind of evil. Scary stuff.

Taking a step back, it really is interesting to note how evil has changed over the past century. Evil became smarter, cooler, sexier (go watch the movie Twilight and you'll know what I mean), and eventually a whole lot more tempting. Which is pretty true, considering that no one is born evil. Evil pretty much has to evangelize everyone - and hell, they're doing a good job. They're doing such a good job that some evil people don't realise they're evil - they think that they're actually doing good!

But that's a post for another time. Shit, how come my posts are so long.

Storyflash: A Historian's Dream

2008-11-28T09:59:00.000+08:00

Before I actually start on my story, I would like to say that while these are my own ideas, several of these ideas have come from other material that I have read/watched/played. Thus, although I don't claim credit for those ideas, I claim credit for my story itself!

Anyway, after the disclaimer, I'd like to say that once again, my readership has plummeted, mostly due to the financial crisis (no one can afford internet connection these days). While this makes me sad and all, at least no one will steal my ideas!

However, several personages, such as Mr. Rickroll, Commander Lt. Surgeons, the German Ninja (henceforth known as Pockmark Pete), and the Gull Pudding seller from down the lane are welcome to try their hand at actually crafting some semblance of a story from these random musings! Mr. Hellbent is strictly prohibited from touching this shit.

Anyway, the story itself.

Well, imagine a giant game of Risk. Except that instead of tokens and counters, you use real armies and soldiers and generals to fight against each other. These generals, armies and soldiers can be picked from any time period in history, thus allowing fights between great leaders and warriors such as Lee (from the American Civil War) against Miyamoto Musashi or an army led by Sun Tzu himself. Thus, if the author wants, he or she can have epic battles on a global scale. Also note that Oceans and Seas are veritable battlegrounds, and pitting the medieval armadas of Spain against the might of the Russian Navy is completely acceptable.

In addition, several legendary artifacts (be they weapons, creatures, swords) are hidden around the world, and they are in the exact places that they are supposed to lie in legend. Asgard (which can be a hidden re-fueling station, a munitions depot, or just a location where a legendary navy/army/air force is held) should be located somewhere north of Scandinavia. Of course, creatures such as the Minotaur will be found on Crete, and so on and so forth.

Each General will be given missions, just like a real game of Risk. These missions, however, are not restricted to merely conquests or anything like that. Each mission should either suitably difficult, or they could be given by chance, allowing one race to have a huge advantage over the others. This is, of course, up to the authors. One interesting mission, for example, would be to have the Spartans attempt to achieve space flight. A more conventional one would be for the Middle East to completely and utterly rule the seas. Once again, it is up to the author to decide what he wants to do.

For those of you who like style, ethical debates, and what not, this is an idea: you can try taking the perspective of the people playing the game. The players have no idea what the people within the game are going through - it would be interesting to contrast their thoughts with that of the people playing the game itself. Another possible perspective would be to let the people within the game know that they are actually playing a game. What will it do to their psyche? Will they follow orders at all? Will they spontaneously give up? I have no idea. You decide!

Finally, as a parting shot, remember the words any time period in history is extremely broad. This means, in effect, that you can pick factions from the future. This can include everyone's beloved mecha-flying Japanese, British armies capable of calling down orbital strikes, and maybe a technocratic nation. It's freaking open. In addition, you have the option of not choosing armies at all. The CIA is completely capable of being an entity that fights toe to toe with other nations of the world using nothing but intelligence and communications. It would interesting to see how they fight. Of course, factions themselves are not the only things than can be added from any time period. Artifacts are also allowed to be from the future. The first nation to get enough manpower into space, can in fact, be allowed to control the Death Star (this is, of course, an exaggeration). Or maybe the first nation to find the Star Trek Enterprise will be awarded with the technology to teleport troops anywhere in the world.

Of course, this is completely up to the author, which will not be me. Hopefully, someone will take this up. Or not. Whatever, I don't really care, this was just a random musing. Oh yeah, before I end, here is a list of books/games that I got the ideas from.

1. Risk (obviously)
2. Fate/Stay Night
3. Ender's Game
4. Time's Eye

Well, whether or not you actually know the books doesn't matter to me. Just know this is where the ideas originated from, and that I don't claim to have invented everything. Just so you know.

NEWSFLASH.

2008-11-26T18:53:00.000+08:00

Good Afternoon, and welcome to today's show. I'm Igor the Brainless, reporting to you live on Channel Thirteen, from whence all bad things come.

We have just received word that the esteemed Vampcount Mr. Rickroll has just returned from diplomatic negotiations with the Leeches of Sabah, and will be arriving in Germany shortly after the break. After a week of negotiations, in which much blood was boiled, crowds a hundred strong have gathered at the Airport to witness the arrival of Mr. Rickroll and his team of negotiators.

Reporting to you live from the scene is our German correspondent, Viscount Friedrich the Hellbent-On-World-Domination. Mr. Hellbent, please.

*Static goes here*

Well, hello there, hello there! This is the Viscount's Assistant, Dr. Frankenfurter speaking. I'm sorry to say that the Viscount has recently been flown to Russia after being contacted by the Secret Service about a drug that could well achieve Total Mind Control over the entire Romanian Vampship.

In any case, large crowds have gathered around the Airport where Mr. Rickroll is about to arrive. Herr. Rickroll, as he is affectionately known in Germany, does not hail from Germany as is commonly believed. Instead, the man is a native of a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, whose name is too difficult to pronounce unless you have proper vocal cords (which, might I remind you, none of the zombies around here are privvy to).

Despite this fact, Mr. Rickroll is a proud supporter of Zombic Tradition, and he will have most sorely missed the opening of "A Frankenstein Adventure '08" (AFA '08). In fact, in a prior interview with the prestigious personage, he sent an email revealing his innermost feelings about the subject. An excerpt of it can be read here:

"How was AFA you assholes."

Indeed, one can feel the passion coming from his well-phrased reply. Now is also an appropriate time to say that despite the well-known fact that Mr. Rickroll is well-versed in at least forty-six different forms of martial arts techniques (including the legendary Fist of the North Star), there have been several who, in their desire to spread the news about what a success the AFA '08 was, have temporarily forgotten this fact, and proceeded to incur his Excellency's wrath.

Just this morning, a well-known l33t-speaking, troll-toting, swear-word-festooned banshee by the name of Ginny, accompanied by her computer-generated vocaloid The-No, was noted to have continually spammed the Nets with her praisings of the AFA. Mr. Rickroll wasted no time is sending the prick rolling head over heels into the caves of Sabah. Later, when asked about the incident, his only reply was:

"Sod off."

An especially succinct and diplomatic response from the veteran politician.

Well, that ends our coverage of the scene. This is Dr. Frankenfurter signing off.

*More static*

Well, there you have it people. We will be back shortly for the actual arrival of Mr. Rickroll, which will come after the break. After that, we will have continue our much publicized debate on: Dentures: Boon or Bane? Thank you, and please stay tuned.

Oh, by the way. Any similarities to personages outside the undead world is completely coincidental, and Channel Thirteen does not take responsibility for any damages caused.